Help! I need quick feedback before sending to AGENCY!

StormFactory

StormFactory

Well-known member
Hey. Just finished my edit on "The Stop-Loss Effect."

I've been staring at the footage for way too long, so I'd love to get a fresh perspective and get feedback ASAP before I send the agents the DVD.

It's a Windows Media file that's about 50MB. Please right click and select Save As...

www.stormfactory.com/dvxuser/tsle.wmv

Thanks for checking it out!
 
The main thing that stuck me was how weird it was after seeing this touching short film to have the cinematographer be "Leeroy Jankins". Give your audience a little credit. Maybe if it feels weird seeing your name on the credits too many times you should just put: Directed and Photographed by... Cut the Jankins.

Other than that it's a very well done short. The sound was well done. The images with the adapter seemed soft, but that could just be the compression. I bet you used a Letus. I could be wrong, but it looks like Letus footage.

As for sending it to an agency, I guess by the credits you're sending this to Paradigm Talent Agency. They're a great one, that's for sure, and it's awesome that you've got some people looking at your work, but did you try festivals too? If not, that might be a good route to go as well. I wish you all the best.

-Riley
 
I recognized what you tried to do with the out of focus work, but it didn't work for me. The dolly shot was out of foucs, and not in a good way. It was too bouncy.

Basically, you need to work on using the adaptor with movement, because that seemed to cause you the most problems. That being said, many of the shots were pretty good.. Like in the cemetary when they're holding hands. Excellent.

Anyway, I agree about the credits. Firstly, they are too long. Either use all slates, or use all scrolling. This movie is too short to have both. Secondly, credit the cimeatographer properly.. If it was you, just combine everything you did on one or two slates. "Leeroy Jankins!" is not funny and the agency won't get it and they'll obviously know it's a fake. Be professional.

Oh, also.. You should try to fix all the little checkerboard noises that pop up. What kind of tape are you using?
 
very strong short. the end was great
Your cameraman was clearly a guy.
How do I know you ask?
Well watson the answer is very simple.
When she was crying when she thought he was dead there was one shot where she leaned towards the camera. and the camera leaned unmistakably towards her cleavage!
It was nice to see cleavage as it always is, but it ruined the feeling of the moment for me. I suggest you edit it out
 
Riley Stearns said:
The main thing that stuck me was how weird it was after seeing this touching short film to have the cinematographer be "Leeroy Jankins". Give your audience a little credit. Maybe if it feels weird seeing your name on the credits too many times you should just put: Directed and Photographed by... Cut the Jankins.

Other than that it's a very well done short. The sound was well done. The images with the adapter seemed soft, but that could just be the compression. I bet you used a Letus. I could be wrong, but it looks like Letus footage.

As for sending it to an agency, I guess by the credits you're sending this to Paradigm Talent Agency. They're a great one, that's for sure, and it's awesome that you've got some people looking at your work, but did you try festivals too? If not, that might be a good route to go as well. I wish you all the best.

-Riley
Click to expand...
Hi Riley,

I'm glad you liked it!

Leeeroy was added for a couple people that understand the inside joke. However will the agency get it? Who knows. Doubt it. So maybe I'll change the name to something else or just get rid of that card because I don't need to see my name everywhere. This will be used to sell my writing, not being a DP, so that credit won't do me any favors.

With the exception of Edgen and another friend helping out, I wrote, directed, edited, and shot the thing. I wanted to go out there and see how self sufficient I could be.

You called the right adapter. I used the Letus35 Flip Enhanced. It was my first time using it in a non test environment. There were a couple times where the adapter was not running due to low batteries and I didn't find out until it was too late. There are a couple things that would make the adapter better for me, but all in all I love that thing. Most of the people who will see this film will not be tech savvy filmmakers, so they won't know or care about what adapter or even what an adapter is. They'll probably think I shot film, which is cool.

I DP'ed Edgen's "Cristo" with the same setup and really got to do some cool things with it now that I know it better. His footage looks great. Check out his Spy-Fest page for un-color corrected screengrabs.

This was going to be my Drama-Fest entry, but work took priority and I couldn't finish it until now. I haven't sent it anywhere yet. I hadn't thought about sending it to any festivals, but once the agents have it we'll see where it goes.

Thanks for the comments.

- Storm
 
LilGryphMaster said:
I recognized what you tried to do with the out of focus work, but it didn't work for me. The dolly shot was out of foucs, and not in a good way. It was too bouncy.

Basically, you need to work on using the adaptor with movement, because that seemed to cause you the most problems. That being said, many of the shots were pretty good.. Like in the cemetary when they're holding hands. Excellent.

Anyway, I agree about the credits. Firstly, they are too long. Either use all slates, or use all scrolling. This movie is too short to have both. Secondly, credit the cimeatographer properly.. If it was you, just combine everything you did on one or two slates. "Leeroy Jankins!" is not funny and the agency won't get it and they'll obviously know it's a fake. Be professional.

Oh, also.. You should try to fix all the little checkerboard noises that pop up. What kind of tape are you using?
Click to expand...
Having a focus puller using the adapter with moving or dolly shots would have been helpful. I have a new appreciation for good 1st A.C.'s.

I addressed the Leeroy credit issue above, but I disagree about it not being funny. It's very funny to the right people and I know those people will laugh. The question is should I put funny credits on this serious film? Maybe not. It was a last minute thought after needing to add the Music and EP cards. Maybe I'll go back to one written and directed card and then just scroll. As for them being too long, either people will watch the credits or they won't, so the length doesn't bother me.

The noise -- which I'm guessing that's what drop-outs look like -- is really bugging me. I has nothing to do with the camera or what tapes I used (the AMQ's by the way). When I captured the footage I thought it was the tape, but when I rendered the final file I realized it was Vegas that added the noise because it wasn't in the timeline. I need to find out why it's doing that and fix it before making the final DVD.

Thanks for the comments.
 
I agree that some of the shots were too out of focus but over all very professional. The shots of the video chat did not have the same soft focus i can see the tv wouldn't but for some reason the chat threw me off a little.
 
StormFactory said:
I addressed the Leeroy credit issue above, but I disagree about it not being funny. It's very funny to the right people and I know those people will laugh. The question is should I put funny credits on this serious film? Maybe not. It was a last minute thought after needing to add the Music and EP cards. Maybe I'll go back to one written and directed card and then just scroll. As for them being too long, either people will watch the credits or they won't, so the length doesn't bother me.
Click to expand...

Hey Storm,

I'd have to agree with everyone else on the Leeroy issue. I would change it. I know the end credits aren't part of the footage, but it still has some impact on the tone of the piece. Now if it were a comedy, maybe, and or if it were just for friends. But I assume the agency will watch the entire length including your credits; so you might want to keep things consistent.

Other things: was the lens dirty @ 6:46/6:56? I'm not too familiar with 35mm adapters though. The footage of soldiers fighting at the beginning, are those public domain? I think I saw those on youtube.

And the smallest thing that bothered me was the scene where she went into her car with the grocery bag. In the second shot the car next to her was gone or moved back a little. Just bothered me a little. Not as much as in the movie 300 when there was no blood on the floor.

Overall, :thumbup: great job. No credit for editor?
 
dc12at0n said:
Hey Storm,

I'd have to agree with everyone else on the Leeroy issue. I would change it. I know the end credits aren't part of the footage, but it still has some impact on the tone of the piece. Now if it were a comedy, maybe, and or if it were just for friends. But I assume the agency will watch the entire length including your credits; so you might want to keep things consistent.

Other things: was the lens dirty @ 6:46/6:56? I'm not too familiar with 35mm adapters though. The footage of soldiers fighting at the beginning, are those public domain? I think I saw those on youtube.

And the smallest thing that bothered me was the scene where she went into her car with the grocery bag. In the second shot the car next to her was gone or moved back a little. Just bothered me a little. Not as much as in the movie 300 when there was no blood on the floor.

Overall, :thumbup: great job. No credit for editor?
Click to expand...
Okay, okay, okay. I agree too.

Sadly the "Leeeroy Jankins!" credit will be changed. I may just fix the spelling and make it "Leroy Jankins". Or maybe it will be a new name altogether. It just won't be my name even though I was the DP. The reason for no editor credit is because I was the editor too. I just don't need to see my name on every credit. I'll take the Steven Soderberg approach to credits.

The dirty lens is the adapter off. If it was on you would not see any of that dust. All the batteries had died.
 
LilGryphMaster said:
Firstly, they are too long. Either use all slates, or use all scrolling. This movie is too short to have both.
Click to expand...
After further thought I realized that my movie's total running time wass 8 minutes 20 seconds. 1 minute and 58 seconds are credits. So um, yeah... I think going to all slates at the end is a great idea. It'll trim a bunch of time off the time. Thanks.
 
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