Happily Ever...

K

Kingshighway77

Member
This is my first post here at DVXuser. I am excited to join this community as I have been really taking my film making to the next level. Happily Ever... is a short film I did for a college film class and it was shot on the DVX100b. The requirements were that there had to be no dialogue. Let me know what you think.

http://vimeo.com/4434525
 
Welcome to the boards! I'm one of the local 'break down your film to constructively criticise' guys. So here's what I think of your film!

Interesting work. Well crafted on a narrative and structural scale. You understand a few key elements, like always keeping us guessing (which is always a strong motivator).

It's not without it's flaws however.

First of all, I was confused as to who was who. She went studying with a friend early on, but this guy had black hair, just like the boyfriend. When working on a film, you have to find actors that look significantly different from each other or else it'll get confusing, especially when we're introduced to a character quickly. So for a time I wasn't sure who was who. Same for the brother? I thought the brother was the boyfriend at first, then I was confused, thinking the guy she was studying with was her second boyfriend who also beat on her... I put the pieces together though.

Secondly, I get the requirement was to work with no dialogue (which is always a great requirement, as film is a visual medium and not about dialogue). HOWEVER, this should force you to chose a subject and script that won't require any dialogue. Usually this is a story that follows one character without any major interactions with other characters, etc. You chose a story that required a lot of interactions. I'm not saying this should have been story with lots of speaking, but it felt reeeally awkward when people would meet and greet without saying a "hey" or "shall we?" or "you okay?" It's not about taking a piece and taking out the dialogue, but finding a piece that requires for there to be no dialogue. However, considering the story chosen and the restriction, it was pulled off fairly well.

I gotta say, this is a bit cliché for a student/college film. I've heard many debates and discussions about teh most cliché student film topics, and by far, the number one cliché is suicide/drinking/dark subjects. Cutting wrists is especially common. Not to say you can't do dark subject matter (and you did it decently, very well compared to the other many suicide/drinking/boyfriend beating student films I've seen), but it wasn't completely succesful. Try and think out of the student film cliché works next time. You don't have to go super happy and cheerful, but just try and break your boundaries.

Sound design was fairly decent. Maybe it was just on set sounds, but it sounded good. However some parts could have used work on. One particular place is the flashbacks (the flashy flashback). Well done for flashbacks, but the sounds lacked the punch of the visuals.

Naratively it felt a little bit long... or perhaps just repetitive. We got the idea half way through. He was beating her. It felt like I wanted to say "get on with it" a few times. Although it felt okay, not too long and over drawn. The performance of the girl held it together, even if the crying got a bit repetitive.

Good points:

Like I said, you have a good sense of things. I see a lot of student films, on a CEGEP (required pre-university program here in quebec) and a university level, and despite it's cliché content, it shows promise.

It's well shot, with a clear understanding of a few key elements lost on student filmmakers, like framing, composition, lighting, etc...

It's well edited (a student filmmaker that understands how to use long takes! Yay!). With a lot of interesting cuts. The important thing is you never really over-cut a scene, which is a very good job on your part. It's a typical thing of beginners learning to cut between characters, they just cut too much. Plus that shot right at the begining is golden. I love how it stays on her for soo long.

Direction is great. I'm saying this because I'm assuming you were working with inexperienced actors (you can tell a bit), but considering this, you got everything you can out of these actors, and that's saying a lot. The girl, although not the most experienced, delivered well. The first shot especially kept my interest.

Lastly, what I liked about the story are the moments you kept us guessing. the first shot as an example. I was sitting there really wondering "why is she crying?" and wanting to find out why. It's difficult to make people want to find out.


Anyways, good job, keep on doing what your doing, and pm me if you ever want some constructive crit.
 
Thanks for the breakdown! The only thing I didn't get was the cliche story line. Maybe it's just my college but I felt like I was making something no one would ever touch. And actually, that's kinda the response i've been getting from everybody is that I took on a story that no college student would really do.

My lead actress had never acted before and I had lost 3 lead actresses right before shooting began, so this girl saved me! She pulled it off nice too.

Good point about choosing a story that doesn't need dialogue. It was definitely awkward filming this. I actually had the actors talk and then cut out their lines in post. This was the first script I have ever written.

I'm glad you liked my editing job as this is really what I want to do.

Thanks for taking the time to watch and critique. I appreciate that a lot.
 
Kingshighway77 said:
Thanks for the breakdown! The only thing I didn't get was the cliche story line. Maybe it's just my college but I felt like I was making something no one would ever touch. And actually, that's kinda the response i've been getting from everybody is that I took on a story that no college student would really do.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's just your college.

I've been through college (or a special pre-university program) and seen films like this. Then in university we actually had an exercise to discuss "student film clichés" and everyone shared their experiences from their own pre-university programs. What came out on top was the "dark/suicide/drinking" story... usually to an evenescence or linkin park song.

It's also been discussed on these boards as well, and that same topic kept coming up.

Sometimes a girl being beaten by her boyfriend came up in the university discussion, but not as often as just suicide or drinking.

So I think it really is just your college. But good for you doing something no one else would touch in your school.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top