Hang In There!

O

OldCorpse

Rockin the Boat
I found out an aquaintance whom I've known for over 10 years, has just committed suicide - he lost his job (due to CV), was in financial difficulties and lived alone. I had no idea he was struggling psychologically. So a PSA, if I may:

If you find yourself struggling - reach out to your support network; people are preoccupied and may not realize that you're struggling. There's always hope. Don't make rash decisions that cannot be reversed. It is easy to enter a spiral without realizing that it's going down faster and faster - reach out and stop the descent.

Now is a good time to check in with friends - ask how they're doing, and just to cheer them up. Sometimes all they need is someone to talk to, not to feel alone and abandoned. When we're all isolated it's easy to lose touch and feel like nobody cares. Break that by reaching out, someone may really need that phone call, zoom, skype whatever.

Also, because, well, we all live online these days - if you need to vent a little or just share what's going on, or coping mechanisms, what you found helpful or what cheered you up, feel fee to share in this thread!

I'll go first - I've always been a bit of a neat freak, but my house has never been so clean, this is a splendid cleanup opportunity.

I went through everything and got rid of stuff that I have accumulated with the idea of "one day" or "just in case" - this is the time to clean up and get rid of all that stuff that accumulates as you live your life and you know realistically you'll never use again... including old equipment, cameras, computers and the like.

This one is a biggie: I'm going through my digital hoard. Thousands and thousands of files that are of no use and will never be revisited - sometimes you find things you looked for a long time ago, or brings back memories - old photos etc., other is just trash you need to get rid of.

Work in the garden (depending on your location, it's still winter some places!) - I find it very calming in these turbulent times.

Reading books - some I immediately get rid of, as I know I'll never read, or read again, but others are a fun discovery.

Re-watching films - same idea.

Re-listening to music: I have literally terabytes of music, this is an amazing experience to listen to stuff that I have not listened to for 15 years or more, and so much I never even got around to listening ever... now is the time to start!

Keep exercising - I find jogging especially useful, as it feels good to be active and lifts the mood.

I have made a promise to myself to call one friend per day just to check in and make sure everyone is fine and re-establish contact with some I've not talked to in a while.

How about you? How are you doing? Share with the community!

MODS: if you feel this is not appropriate - or too depressing - feel free to delete.
 
this is good to read. Especially since many of us risk a lot and tie much of our identity to this profession, and many of us cannot work for the foreseeable weeks or even months. Not to mention even with the CARES act, some of us may slip through the cracks. Important to be reminded to stay in this and keep communicating. We find solutions through communication.
 
Well said, and sorry to hear about your acquaintance. I've been reaching out to people who I fear may be struggling and others who don't realise they are. Having been freelance since 1991 I know what it's like to walk on the edge of the abyss and often all it needs to shift the mindset is a giggle or a bit of empathy. We can all offer that, even when we're skint.
 
Good thread. Sorry to hear your news, suicide is such a sad way to end things. When I used to be a musician (many years ago) I saw it a couple of times, a keyboard player who I was friendly with decided to end it all, it never felt like he had huge problems but I realised at that point that for some people things that others can cope with are sometimes insurmountable. Not the first time I've been close to someone who's committed suicide and reaching out to people is absolutely the right thing to do.

The trouble with freelancing (and I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest) is that what I call "proper" people contact can be a little scarce sometimes. I'm used to being on my own and I really don't mind it but earlier this year I decided to start being myself around some of my more established clients. I always put on a serious face when I'm working but realise it isn't really me, so I decided that they can see what I'm really like. I like to laugh a lot and I decided that If they don't like it then so be it. Be yourself. Thankfully as a result the relationship with all of them has really taken off to the extent that although we're not working together at the moment I'm still enjoying contact with all of them, which has really helped.
 
Very helpful post. I too am alone and have been doing very similar things...throwing out the deitrus, organizing the archives, the stuff I never get to from year to year.

I have an ever-developing theory about why certain of us flock to this admittedly odd career choice when so many others look at us uncomprehending how we can deal with such instability/uncertainty/lack of routine. Outside of the love of the craft, I tend to think of a shoot day as being a series of unique challenges that must be solved one after the other, and completing each task brings with it a certain endorphin rush. Sometimes this is accompanied by pure adrenaline when we are on tight schedules, or the tightwire act of live production. My theory is that we are in a sense junkies, we crave these rushes and the sense of completion we get after each setup, each shoot day, each finished project. It goes a way to explain the post-partum feelings I sometimes get when I wrap a project. No more daily "fixes"!

There is of course a downside to all this, which is that if things go badly on a job we may take it harder or more personally than we should, plus the accumulated toll of the years of adrenaline and intensity of production. I have dug in deep to find ways to manage this for myself, to find a balance in life. As James says, we do tend to tie our identities to this profession and that is tough when one is riding the roller coaster down the hill, as we all are right now.

For me, the process of slowing down, doing things I don't normally do and especially getting to these long postponed personal projects is fulfilling on many levels. It keeps me occupied, gives me a sense of purpose and accomplishment, and it feels great to check things off the cobwebby long term "to-do" wishlist.

On an even deeper note and referring back to the top post, I had a really tough time the first few weeks but put all my focus into seeking out and implementing stronger coping mechanisms and I'm glad to say that they are working. I was able to do it by myself but of course some will need assistance. As everyone here said, reaching out for support is crucial. We can be there for each other right now without the time and pressure constraints of work getting in the way, which is unprecedented.
 
Here's my method to keep spirits up:

I don't watch the news much, due to their over emphasis on negative things (hope that's not construed as political, just my honest opinion and rational for not watching the news every day).

To relax and relieve stress, I hold my cat and listen to him purr; I find this very soothing and the stress just melts away, plus purring promotes bone density, or so I read on the internet.

I watch comedies to lighten my mood. Rocky and Bullwinkle episodes, Three Stooges shorts, and Marx Brother's movies are at the top of my list.

Celtic music is really the only genre of music that I like, and I've been listening to more Irish music lately. I just discovered Noel McLoughlin's music, and have also enjoyed music by Julie Fowlis, Niamh Farrel, and Linda Nicleoid.
 
Kubicixfactor said:
Good thread. Sorry to hear your news, suicide is such a sad way to end things. When I used to be a musician (many years ago) I saw it a couple of times, a keyboard player who I was friendly with decided to end it all, it never felt like he had huge problems but I realised at that point that for some people things that others can cope with are sometimes insurmountable. Not the first time I've been close to someone who's committed suicide and reaching out to people is absolutely the right thing to do.

The trouble with freelancing (and I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest) is that what I call "proper" people contact can be a little scarce sometimes. I'm used to being on my own and I really don't mind it but earlier this year I decided to start being myself around some of my more established clients. I always put on a serious face when I'm working but realise it isn't really me, so I decided that they can see what I'm really like. I like to laugh a lot and I decided that If they don't like it then so be it. Be yourself. Thankfully as a result the relationship with all of them has really taken off to the extent that although we're not working together at the moment I'm still enjoying contact with all of them, which has really helped.
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:)

Reminds me of a funny story. I was playing keys for a band in a bar and we had to play Sunday nights as well on that gig. The bar was dead as a doornail. After the last song when we were starting to pack up, I picked up my keyboard and threw it across the stage smashing a key out it yelling "I QUITE!. f..." and so on. I was drunk ofcourse and on the road for long enough to start getting burnt out. I thought for sure "we'll never play here again." Later, outside, our guitar player comes over and sais "They just booked us for 6 more gigs." (Over the course of the year). Me, shocked, replies "After that?!!!" Unbelievable but yep. ;) And the guys in the band were just laughing at me the whole time too because they knew me and what we had been going through.

Btw,[I edited this comment out. Kinda too personal I guess.]. (Too much info) But yeah it is a serious subject and it is real. Moreso in these times as well. Luckily I have an awesome support worker. Others I know, I do worry constantly about everyday. Btw, I sold that keyboard to a blind piano player that was on vacation up here from New Orleans when the storm hit. Anyways...Sorry for the rant. Old road stories can get me going sometimes. -Beers.
 
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:-D that’s a great story! Had plenty of those empty venues myself, good times when I think back now. Hope you’re doing ok, playing music can be an intense experience with lots of highs (big audience) and lows (just the bar staff). I’d love to enjoy a virtual beer with you to share stories.
 
I was out of action for my side gig of drumming for over 7 months recovering from wrist and elbow surgery.

Playing music is my necessary outlet. My endorphin rush. My kingdom.

When I finally got a chance to get back in the chair recently, right before the shut down, I was on a 3 day high afterward:

 
Ha, ha, that's awesome, Matt! A lot of musicians these days jam online - there are ways of setting up sessions such that you can do it simultaneously... I'm not sure how that works, because with music, even if you have a tiny bit of latency, you can really hear it! But, if there's a will there's a way. That's a fantastic way to socialize too, while keeping distance :)
 
I think you played "Seven Nation Army" a little bit fancier than Meg White ;) Those electronic drum sets sound pretty good these days.

I used to play as a hobby. Before that I used to be get off beat clapping at concerts. The practice brought me up to normal. It helped my editing too.
 
OldCorpse said:
Ha, ha, that's awesome, Matt! A lot of musicians these days jam online - there are ways of setting up sessions such that you can do it simultaneously... I'm not sure how that works, because with music, even if you have a tiny bit of latency, you can really hear it! But, if there's a will there's a way. That's a fantastic way to socialize too, while keeping distance :)
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Yeah the band and I are looking at ways to still practice virtually during the shutdown.

Seems like Jamulus might be the way to go if we can host our own server.
 
combatentropy said:
I think you played "Seven Nation Army" a little bit fancier than Meg White ;) Those electronic drum sets sound pretty good these days.

I used to play as a hobby. Before that I used to be get off beat clapping at concerts. The practice brought me up to normal. It helped my editing too.
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I've switched to playing E-drums both in practice AND live unless we play bigger venues that has a GOOD sound engineer. It just sounds better all around and the band loves to have ME on a volume control. ;)

And yes 40 years of drumming has definitely helped my editing "rhythm".
 
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Some of the more helpful bits lately:

- cancel Netflix (saves a bit of money and a lot of utterly wasted time)
- severely limiting my time on Facebook and various bulletin boards (too much widespread panic, fearmongering, and conspiracy talk)
- Harvesting firewood from the dead and felled stuff out back
- Plenty and plenty of home repair projects that'd been neglected
- Probably going to have the strongest garden we've had in a decade... soil, sun, and soak have been just right. Mild winter meant most of the cole crops overwintered and have been producing
- Transplanting more trees and trimming the peach orchard in another valiant attempt to stave off brown rot
- Contemplation, prayer, and trying to stay creatively active by volunteering or doing cut-rate work for churches and causes I care about

In its simplest form, the recipe is (and always has been) to live out the words of the single greatest, most motivational song ever penned. Its author was amongst the first taken by this Chinese scourge. We'll miss you, John.

 
Funny how much our venn diagrams overlap. I am also (when not in COVID-19 times) a gigging musician, and yesterday marks the 14th year since a friend of mine decided he was done with this world. Prior to his unilateral decision, he and I had spoke of future projects he wanted to do- he liked to run media for political candidates. It is far too fragile a thread with which we hold onto this realm- reach out.
 
I have found throughout my years of production that at least 75+% of my fellow production peeps are musicians.

Must be that right-brain/creative thing.
 
Kubicixfactor said:
The trouble with freelancing (and I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest) is that what I call "proper" people contact can be a little scarce sometimes. I'm used to being on my own and I really don't mind it but earlier this year I decided to start being myself around some of my more established clients. I always put on a serious face when I'm working but realise it isn't really me, so I decided that they can see what I'm really like. I like to laugh a lot and I decided that If they don't like it then so be it. Be yourself. Thankfully as a result the relationship with all of them has really taken off to the extent that although we're not working together at the moment I'm still enjoying contact with all of them, which has really helped.
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I've had a lot of these thoughts this last year and this year, before Covid hit. We spend a lot of time around a lot of different people, but I never feel close to any of them. It's hard to drop the serious 'work' front, and often I'm too distracted dealing with production issues to just shoot the breeze like others can.

It can be really lonely. I'm glad you're able to break down those walls and get closer to your clients.
 
mcbob said:
In its simplest form, the recipe is (and always has been) to live out the words of the single greatest, most motivational song ever penned. Its author was amongst the first taken by this Chinese scourge. We'll miss you, John.

Click to expand...

I've been playing John Prine all week, both on my sound system and on my Martin. Can't get him out of my head.
 
mcgeedigital said:
I have found throughout my years of production that at least 75+% of my fellow production peeps are musicians.

Must be that right-brain/creative thing.
Click to expand...

I tried to live a double life in my 20's of gigging musician and cameraman...after a series of shoot days with night gigs and long drives, leaving little to no time for sleep, I called it quits on that around 30. But as noted above, I am positive that my musician background informed a sense of timing and rhythm, not just for editing but on set as well. Certainly any time I have to shoot a dance piece/music video, being able to communicate to others in terms of fractions of a beat is immensely useful.
 
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