"Growing Up" Short Film

ponder8n

ponder8n

Active member
A few weeks ago, I posted some slow motion footage, and received great comments and feedback. Thanks everyone!

We finished the short film (18:30 runtime), and we're in the final edits this week. Here are the links to the short film. Please use "Save As..."

http://72.41.95.114/mirror/

Since we're in the final weeks of editing, your feedback is greatly appreciated.

FYI, it was shot on DVX100A, edited in FCP and tweaked with Magic Bullet.

Thanks,
Russell
 
well, I got to hand it to ya, great job! I was a big fan of the first post with the awesome slo mo and the entire short was even better. great story but even greater message.
 
running commentary (sorta), hope you don't mind:

Camera work during the opening credits is a bit awkward. Good sound work. Whats up with mom not liking the blue hairstyle?! Thats my hair style! Would have liked to see a few more cuts to different angles in some of the bathroom action and less single setup shots.

Dog poop outfit is funny! Mom and Caleb do well with their line delivery. Wow, this is quite a day in the life kind of movie, is it a documentary? Moving kinda slow...

AHA! Now I recognize this (basketball)! OK, I suggest cutting to the chase and speeding up everything leading up to the basketball scene. There can be lots of cuts, shoot some stuff from different angles, shoot some inserts, and cut back and forth to speed the first 5 minutes along.

Really liking this more now...LOVE that security cam shot. How'd you do it? Cool locations! Nice focus pull on the MacGregor case...

OK back to schoolwork, I would again suggest more cuts and less single shot pans. We don't need to see mom close one book set it down, pick up another book and open it all in real time from the same angle (for example).

Cute outtakes!

Overall nice work and even though it feels a bit like an afterschool special by the end it's probably for kids so that's cool. Just tighten it up a lot would be my advice and throw in more shot variation. Nice work!
 
coffee: Thanks for the feedback and the nice comments.

the-lyons-den: Thanks for the running commentary. Good feedback. Your suggestions are very helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to do that. To answer your questions--yes, it's more of a day-in-the-life than a documentary. It's all still fictional. It started out as a fun, family project. Our whole family was going to act, but my wife first attempt on camera didn't go well. She got too nervous and realized acting was not her calling. So, a friend of mine play Caleb's mom. Then, I decided to stay behind the camera and let someone else be dad. Overall, we're really happy with it.
 
I bet you are your sons hero....he probably had a blast doing this and it will be fun for him to watch later on. I thought it was pretty good and a lot of the shots were really cool, the whole daydreaming thing didn't quite work for me for some reason but still there was a ton of good stuff.
 
i could see this film being on the disney channel. or maybe nickalodeon. it kinda reminds me of gulla gulla island. accept no giant frog.
 
Overall, I think you did a fine job on this. I thought the daydreaming sequences were very nicely done. Great style and variation between the scenes. So much so, that the real life scenes seemed to be a little flat. I found myself waiting for the next dream segment. I really think you could tighten the pace a little.

As for the ending, I think the biblical lesson was pretty forced. But, hey, I'm Agnostic, what do I know? :grin:
 
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