Graffiti This

[encity5]

http://vimeo.com/8243573

Graffiti This!
7 minute short film
comments and critiques appreciated!

Camera: HV30,
Sound: Rode Videomic
Lighting: Mostly bounced sun light. (no light kits)
Velbon Videomate Tripod

Editted and colored in FCP 7
VFX Done in After Effects CS4

 

[jonE5]

Watched this last night, and i REALLY enjoyed it.

Now first of all, you committed a cardinal sin of DVX, (or any forum really)

Always include a description of in your post

What camera you you used, what you used for sound, lighting, other equipment... (we want to know!)

Now, onto the critique.

I loved your composition, very artistic, and very good selection of angles. I like how you told an entire story without dialogue, and really showed the audience the story, and let it unfold.

Im not sure why but it really reminded me of one of the first things i did, which was also a non narrative short. I did this 2 min short when i first got my camera to test it out.

http://www.vimeo.com/4936404

Anyway, so now your next task should be to incorporate something a little more narrative with a little more story. You have showed that you have the visual story telling piece down, now get to writing, try your hand at writing something a little more involed, add a few more characters, record some dialogue, etc... Id love to see what you can come up with.

My only gripe is that i could see some audience members getting confused at your end of the story, or about what the meaning is. I caught what was gonig on, but even still im not sure if i missed some of the metatphor you were going for etc... Other than that, well done.

jon

 

[encity5]

Hey jon,

Thanks for the kinds words and criticisms!
Glad you liked it
Im definitely trying to do something more narative but I didn't want that to be marred by bad acting, (as my previous films have mostly been friends as actors.
Its nice to see some people catching on the meaning, but yes it is fairly vague (as it was vague while i was editting the film!)

I also editted my first post to include a description.
Thanks!