Glade Bags- A murderous Ad

[Keegan O'Brien]

I shot, edited and uploaded this today. It was supposed to be 30 seconds long, but ended up being 1:05, so I had to cut it for class, but this is the ad in it's entirety. It's not perfect, but for a quick throw together its not horrible. Any advice/ crit would be fantastic. Watch in HD.

Equipment used: Canon T2i, Manfrotto Tripod, single Cool Lux light, Nikon 50mm F1.8, and an Azden SGM X

Software: Color grading, editing, and sound completed in Final Cut Express 4.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc9GMTHkQ5o

 

[Jon Starr]

It was good.

The blood on the knife looked a bit too orange and thick. What did you use?

The rack at 08 is great, but felt a tad unnecessary. I know it's for mood, but normally a rack focus is to reveal something important, such as if you were to rack to the knives in back rather than to the obvious wad of paper in front. Also the rack could have been a bit quicker so that it reached the paper as it hit the ground. We already made out what it was by the time it got there. Being a bit picky, but as a former film student I notice a huge overuse of racks because they 'look cool'.

The shot at 16, the change of f-stops works well... though personally I wouldn't have done anything to it. It almost feels like those documentaries or reality tv shows with auto exposure when they follow someone outside. It would have been much cooler and moody if you just exposed to outside leaving him silhouette as the door opens. But that's my personal choice.

At 0:36 you switch sides of the axis... not saying it's bad, and if it was your intention it was done well. But if not, try and watch out for that.

at 0:37 he lifts the bag, then lets go and says he should have gone with glad bags... why? I'm a bit lost, but shouldn't something have happened to the bag? We see nothing happening, so we're left in the dark. My assumption is that it ripped open and the guts fell out? You should have done 1 of 2 things. Either actually show us what happens, or show us through sound. Have the sound of a bag ripping and blood and guts splattering all over the ground in some gruesome mess, maybe even have a touch of blood splatter up for effect. As it is it's not convincing that anything bad happened.

The guy coming in at the end felt a bit pointless, especially with him repeating the fact that he needs glad bags. In fact for the punch line 'glad bags' is repeated far too often. It's like the punch line comes, it kind of funny, then a guy comes in and just tries to make it funnier by doing something silly. Could have been a bit better. I'm assuming it was a friend or something, but he did not deliver that line that well.

Anyways good job, it's well shot and well put together. What was this for?

 

[Keegan O'Brien]

It was good.

The blood on the knife looked a bit too orange and thick. What did you use?

The rack at 08 is great, but felt a tad unnecessary. I know it's for mood, but normally a rack focus is to reveal something important, such as if you were to rack to the knives in back rather than to the obvious wad of paper in front. Also the rack could have been a bit quicker so that it reached the paper as it hit the ground. We already made out what it was by the time it got there. Being a bit picky, but as a former film student I notice a huge overuse of racks because they 'look cool'.

The shot at 16, the change of f-stops works well... though personally I wouldn't have done anything to it. It almost feels like those documentaries or reality tv shows with auto exposure when they follow someone outside. It would have been much cooler and moody if you just exposed to outside leaving him silhouette as the door opens. But that's my personal choice.

At 0:36 you switch sides of the axis... not saying it's bad, and if it was your intention it was done well. But if not, try and watch out for that.

at 0:37 he lifts the bag, then lets go and says he should have gone with glad bags... why? I'm a bit lost, but shouldn't something have happened to the bag? We see nothing happening, so we're left in the dark. My assumption is that it ripped open and the guts fell out? You should have done 1 of 2 things. Either actually show us what happens, or show us through sound. Have the sound of a bag ripping and blood and guts splattering all over the ground in some gruesome mess, maybe even have a touch of blood splatter up for effect. As it is it's not convincing that anything bad happened.

The guy coming in at the end felt a bit pointless, especially with him repeating the fact that he needs glad bags. In fact for the punch line 'glad bags' is repeated far too often. It's like the punch line comes, it kind of funny, then a guy comes in and just tries to make it funnier by doing something silly. Could have been a bit better. I'm assuming it was a friend or something, but he did not deliver that line that well.

Anyways good job, it's well shot and well put together. What was this for?

Thanks, it is very flawed, but with this one as long as my teacher accepts it I'm fine with that. The assignment was to make a 30 second promo for any type of product. This is the extended cut, because I had to re edit it to 30 seconds for class. Thanks for all the advice, the most detailed analysis I've ever been given, so thank you!