Dustin R. Rogan
Silent Bob's Evil Twin
Thankies~
"Given" by Dustin R. Rogan
- Thread starter Dustin R. Rogan
- Start date
mentatDUKE
Veteran
This a well-done 1st film. You should be proud. Interesting take on purgatory and interesting final test. It's relatable I think, since most fathers would do anything to protect their families.
Nice use of visual effects. Cool shots. I think I liked the bum/angel the best.
Good job.
Nice use of visual effects. Cool shots. I think I liked the bum/angel the best.
Good job.
Dustin R. Rogan
Silent Bob's Evil Twin
thanks mental.
This is me wondering if anyone caught on to my Greek Mytho reference?
Just wondering (ie 2 pennies....may have to look at credits)
Anyways thanks again guys!
This is me wondering if anyone caught on to my Greek Mytho reference?
Just wondering (ie 2 pennies....may have to look at credits)
Anyways thanks again guys!
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A lot of nice work in this film. I liked the concept of the story a lot. Nice work! Rod Serling would be proud. But you could also take a page from his book I think and not spell things out for us so much along the way ... which I go on about a bit later.
Here’s some thoughts while watching it the second time through.
Liked how pedestrian the dialogue was in the opening scene. Obv. Can’y have a whole film like that, but a bit at the beginning is nice. Grounds it in reality and establishes a stasis that will be upset so the second act can take place.
Nice car hit … maybe a car horn or some screeching brakes could take it even further .. but nicely done.
Maybe it was a slight misstep to not show him get up after the hit. We kind of know he’s dead right off and it seems to be your intent to delay that knowledge for a while.
I like the casting / look of the death or the purgatory cop guy … I liked that it wasn’t precious and a little irreverent. The gloves are a nice touch.
The cast does a pretty good job for the most part. Melodrama is one of the hardest things to pull off for any actor and they do a fairly serviceable job of it though not stellar. I’m talking about any type of “It’s your father … I’m afraid he … didn’t make it” “Oh God, no!” Kind of scenes. Tough stuff but can be great when hit out of the park.
The story trajectory was a little flat for me and not always rife with either enough conflict or enough mystery to be really engaging. By mystery I mean showing as little of your hand as possible for as long as possible. The act of piecing it together engages the audience and can be especially helpful in making a short. Of course you have to make sure they get it in the end and that you lead them with enough confidence throughout so that they feel like it’s possible to get it in the end. So … once we catch up with the movie, move on quickly. When he comes home for example we’re 100% sure that he’s dead when he utters his second line, and maybe even before that. Then that scene goes on a bit and then death comes and says “your dead” and we’re ahead of the movie until we get to “this is purgatory”. Which, similarly, I wonder if that information could have been withheld altogether. If he and the audience did not understand exactly what was happening to him, that could maybe have been a nice dramatic forward (technical term for mystery) which would have engaged us and given him something active to do (figure out what’s going on) rather than wait for a test. The way it is when we get to the baby scenario, we know exactly what is going on, what he will say, and are again ahead of the movie. Whereas if we didn’t know, we might not already know how that scene would turn out as soon as it begins. Then it could be revealed to him that it was a test, again probably in an implied way. Anyway, just some thoughts, they may not pan out once you put them on paper and track them through.
Really a solid entry. And I understand this is your first film? Even more impressive. Thanks for sharing it and debuting here, sir. :beer:
Here’s some thoughts while watching it the second time through.
Liked how pedestrian the dialogue was in the opening scene. Obv. Can’y have a whole film like that, but a bit at the beginning is nice. Grounds it in reality and establishes a stasis that will be upset so the second act can take place.
Nice car hit … maybe a car horn or some screeching brakes could take it even further .. but nicely done.
Maybe it was a slight misstep to not show him get up after the hit. We kind of know he’s dead right off and it seems to be your intent to delay that knowledge for a while.
I like the casting / look of the death or the purgatory cop guy … I liked that it wasn’t precious and a little irreverent. The gloves are a nice touch.
The cast does a pretty good job for the most part. Melodrama is one of the hardest things to pull off for any actor and they do a fairly serviceable job of it though not stellar. I’m talking about any type of “It’s your father … I’m afraid he … didn’t make it” “Oh God, no!” Kind of scenes. Tough stuff but can be great when hit out of the park.
The story trajectory was a little flat for me and not always rife with either enough conflict or enough mystery to be really engaging. By mystery I mean showing as little of your hand as possible for as long as possible. The act of piecing it together engages the audience and can be especially helpful in making a short. Of course you have to make sure they get it in the end and that you lead them with enough confidence throughout so that they feel like it’s possible to get it in the end. So … once we catch up with the movie, move on quickly. When he comes home for example we’re 100% sure that he’s dead when he utters his second line, and maybe even before that. Then that scene goes on a bit and then death comes and says “your dead” and we’re ahead of the movie until we get to “this is purgatory”. Which, similarly, I wonder if that information could have been withheld altogether. If he and the audience did not understand exactly what was happening to him, that could maybe have been a nice dramatic forward (technical term for mystery) which would have engaged us and given him something active to do (figure out what’s going on) rather than wait for a test. The way it is when we get to the baby scenario, we know exactly what is going on, what he will say, and are again ahead of the movie. Whereas if we didn’t know, we might not already know how that scene would turn out as soon as it begins. Then it could be revealed to him that it was a test, again probably in an implied way. Anyway, just some thoughts, they may not pan out once you put them on paper and track them through.
Really a solid entry. And I understand this is your first film? Even more impressive. Thanks for sharing it and debuting here, sir. :beer:
Dustin R. Rogan
Silent Bob's Evil Twin
yeah originally I was going to put the title after he got hit by the car but with confusion on format of the movie and this being the first one, and not wanting to be dq'd on first at bat....I didn't fully understand the format leeway (make sense?) I thought title HAD to be at beginning, and not 30 seconds into it. But thanks for watching and giving kind words of wisdom from a seasoned pro like yourself! Notes were taken and stored and will be put into practice in next fest
Dustin R. Rogan
Silent Bob's Evil Twin
:happy:
jasonthewho
Veteran
Hey everybody! I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments/criticism. I played the death character and also helped write the script, and it's great to have people not only watch but also respond to our work.