GH1 Gh1 short film I did.

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Park Edwards

Veteran
Did this last year and finally getting around to releasing it. Feel free to rip it apart. It's my first short, so I know where there could have been improvements. Only hack used was the G1h's 24p hack about half-way through the shoot.

 
The pool-hall scenes were pretty nice!
But yellow-brown wall paneling and a sweater vest???? Um...yeah...I was in hell watching that...LOL!
The outdoor scenes looked "fine" and by that I mean "no issues" so it all falls on the actors at that point.
The dark car lighting was good. Certainly pro looking.
Audio could have been better. If the dialog was a wee bit more isolated and then pumped up a little.... The public is spoiled by good audio these days and they don't even realize it. You really must have killin' dialog audio or the public "senses" something amateur even if the footage is killer.

It's got a good beat, I can dance to it - I give it an 83.
 
Hey all right. An audience member. Well, thank you for your input.

The motel was supposed to be some rundown place where Joey, the guy on the run, was staying to avoid getting caught. And it was a place willing to let us film there for free. So I took what I could get. The brown paneling was a little flat, and difficult to film around. Sweater vest was just a piece of wardrobe the actor chose to wear and we went with it.

Audio!! Ha. I almost made it a silent film. Every scene but the hotel scene between the couple was ADR. And by ADR, I mean, ever actor recorded their lines of dialogue in a different place, so it was mother fu_ker piecing that together and matching it. And I have no clue how to edit sound. That's what really put this project so far back, and really frustrated me.

Thanks for your feedback.
 
You belong to those who do it. Who show it. Make a shot, make a short ! A lot of work, I like it. Its a good job done, beside some long dialogs.
Congratulation !
The more we try, the more we do, the better we are...Go on !
 
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Yes, congratz on your first short!

Overall, very well done! Nice shots, nice lighting. As mentioned, audio could be better. The whole piece could be shorter and the dialogues more dynamic and concise. I couldn't help myself and fast forwarded some of them;) Story wise it was really OK, but I wasn't crazy about the ending.
Visually, it looked really nice and pro! Must have put a lot of work to it.
I have a couple of questions: what lenses did you use? didn't you have problems with the GH1 banding? how did you light car interiors? oh, the bullet hole looked funky in the shot with the guy on the floor:) what did you use to make it?
Really really great start! Keep them coming:]
 
Benibube said:
You belong to those who do it. Who show it. Make a shot, make a short ! A lot of work, I like it. Its a good job done, beside some long dialogs.
Congratulation !
The more we try, the more we do, the better we are...Go on !
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Thanks you. I'm a fan of Quentin Tarantino, Aaron Sorkin and Shane Black, so dialogue is where I put most of my effort. I learned a lot and will apply what I learned from this into new things.
 
brudney said:
Yes, congratz on your first short!

Overall, very well done! Nice shots, nice lighting. As mentioned, audio could be better. The whole piece could be shorter and the dialogues more dynamic and concise. I couldn't help myself and fast forwarded some of them;) Story wise it was really OK, but I wasn't crazy about the ending.
Visually, it looked really nice and pro! Must have put a lot of work to it.
I have a couple of questions: what lenses did you use? didn't you have problems with the GH1 banding? how did you light car interiors? oh, the bullet hole looked funky in the shot with the guy on the floor:) what did you use to make it?
Really really great start! Keep them coming:]
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Thanks. Bummer you didn't like the dialogue, but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. ;)

I used Nikon lenses. From 28mm, 50mm and 85mm. The Gh1 did have some banding...the scenes in the car mostly. It's not horrific, but it's there. The car interiors were the easiest to light. The first scene between the couple was a 300w with softbox hitting them head on and then a 300w open face in the back to give them a rim light. For the two guys, same ordeal. Just a 300w soft box directly in the front and a 300w rim light positioned in the back.

The bullet hole was a on the spot job that someone tried for the first time. It wasn't too awfully bad seeing how he'd never done it before. But I really don't know exactly what he used. I know it was some kind of puddy. I'll try to remember to ask him and report back.
 
Thanks Car3o. Just to be clear, what I referred to was mostly dialogues' length, not quality or wittiness :) (oh, and probably too many over-the-shoulders;))
 
Good stuff, really impressed.
I know how hard it is - it took me about 5 months to get cast and crew, script, storyboards and equipment together to shoot just a 12 minute film over 2 days.
And that was only 3 or 4 locations.

The sound is a little unconvincing, mainly because of the ADR - it feels like I'm watching a foreign film dubbed into English. And some of the compositions were a bit off. But on the plus side, many of the set ups were really good, and you got some decent performances out of some of the actors.

Congrats, and keep on doing it.
 
Congrats on completing your first short! It looked very professional and it felt like you actually took the time to plan it. Visually, I think you have almost everything down (lighting, framing, etc), but it would've been more interesting to see more variations in your shots (lots of OTS). Besides that, I thought everything was well lit and framed.

Audio wise, the ADR did sound a bit off, but the audio was clear even though the volume was a bit low. I don't know if this is due to the writing or the actors, but I felt the delivery of the dialogue sounded artificial. It felt like the actors were regurgitating sentences that they memorized and not actually engaging in conversations with one another. The only person that sounded natural to me was the protagonist (Soloman?). Another thing about the dialogue was that everyone sounded the same. Everyone talked the same way and used similar words/mannerisms as each other. But hey, I'm really bad at writing dialogue so maybe it's just me.

Overall it was nicely done, really freaking nicely done for a first time effort! Congrats again and keep making movies!!
 
Kin869 said:
Congrats on completing your first short! It looked very professional and it felt like you actually took the time to plan it. Visually, I think you have almost everything down (lighting, framing, etc), but it would've been more interesting to see more variations in your shots (lots of OTS). Besides that, I thought everything was well lit and framed.

Audio wise, the ADR did sound a bit off, but the audio was clear even though the volume was a bit low. I don't know if this is due to the writing or the actors, but I felt the delivery of the dialogue sounded artificial. It felt like the actors were regurgitating sentences that they memorized and not actually engaging in conversations with one another. The only person that sounded natural to me was the protagonist (Soloman?). Another thing about the dialogue was that everyone sounded the same. Everyone talked the same way and used similar words/mannerisms as each other. But hey, I'm really bad at writing dialogue so maybe it's just me.

Overall it was nicely done, really freaking nicely done for a first time effort! Congrats again and keep making movies!!
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Thanks. That's very encouraging to hear. I appreciate your feedback. I really thought the hotel scene between the couple could have been better shot; additional angles and not so stationary, more hand-held work. But that room was very tiny and setting up the lights was extremely difficult. You can see the key light bouncing off the god awful brown paneling. And I think I was stuck through ought the film doing basic setups to speed things up.

The only actor, who as you can tell from his performance, is the only person whose had major actor experience and previous screen time. He's now out in LA doing some big projects. So I can see what you mean about the others' performances.

Good point on the way everyone talked. That's very constructive to hear, as a new writer, I would like to separate my characters from one another.

All great points. Thanks for watching.
 
Very good as a first short. Congratulations and good luck for your near future.
Learn from the little mistakes you done hear and continue.
Thanks for sharing
 
I really enjoyed it. For your first short film, it was really really good. I'm in no way an expert myself, but I agree with some of the other comments that some of the dialogue was kinda dragged out. I made a similar mistake myself on my first short film; I used just a wide shot and an OTS shot of each character for a two minute dialogue scene. When I went to edit it, I realised that I should of filmed a variety of more shots to help eleviate the monotony of the dialogue. That aside, this was really really impressive. With this being your first short film, you did an outstanding job and you should be proud. Can't wait to see your next one.
 
This is impressive for being your first short film. Good production value, I get you like long dialogue, there were a few scenes where it actually took away from the story, maybe if the acting were stronger they could have pulled it off. But a few of the actors were pretty amatuer in their delivery. Either way, you did a great job.
 
Thanks guys. I appreciate you even watching it. I couldn't agree enough on most everything mentioned so far. But get ready for what's coming up tonight! I have a Halloween sketch for everyone. It'll be my second "short." It's only a few minutes long, so it's more a skit.
 
producer said:
Which GH1 settings, film mode and color profile did you use for that brilliant video?
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Thanks producer. I believe, and this is a stretch because I shot it so long ago, the film mode 1080/24 with the 24p hack, no other patch was used. Color profile was standard at default. The slow-mo was shot at 720p/60p. And I scaled everything down to 720p.
 
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