SHORT: Geek V Geek (First Film)

J

johnnyevil

Active member

So this was the first short I have worked on from inception. I work with a couple of people who want to be filmmakers, with varying levels of experience, and we were thinking of ideas. I ended up writing the screenplay for this piece in early december.

Right after, my co-worker volunteered/decided he would direct. I thought nothing of it, since he wants to be a director, I figured why not, and that on a small piece between friends, it would be meshed lines of responsibility anyway.

So anyway, things I learned from this:

Most important is to have a good time. Even if this was for money, you're making a film, good or bad, it should be fun. If it's not fun, then what's the point? To that end, we all had a good time on the shoot.

Second most important is Planning. Preproduction is absolutely key. I was producing, and prior to the shoot, I got us the location, the equipment, scheduled the actual date for the production, and made food for everyone. During this time, the director never actually had one meeting with his DP, and even insulted him greatly at one point, nearly losing him. Also, during this time, the director mentioned how he only wants to be friends with people he can get something from.

That brings me to my third point. Surround yourself with like minded individuals. I think that while the director and I are friends, we have a big difference in what we want to see on screen. Right now, I want to make short comedies, stuff that people can watch in 3-5 minutes on YouTube. They won't require loads of capital, and can be done with minimal, if any special effects. I think they are the perfect fit for no-budget hacks like myself.

The director has grand ideas, but no experience to accomplish them. He wants to have big budget shots, high octane action sequences. And while they are fun, I think we need to learn to walk before we run.

Fourth. If you're the creator of the content, no one will care about the idea more than you. You need to accept that. It's a tough pill to swallow. I think I managed very well on set not to step on the directors toes. I let him make all the directorial decisions, whether I agreed or not.

Fifth. If you're not happy with the results, chalk it up to experience. You made something. The next one will be better, for you will have learned from your mistakes.

That being said, I'd appreciate your opinions regarding this short piece. I know it has a couple of major flaws, such as the shadow of the boom in the opening shot. And some booming in the opening shot as I originally tried to boom both actors (they ended up being block much further than the initial plan... we didn't have two booms, or boom operators, nor access to lavs).

During the sequence when the guy gets slapped, the roomtone vanishes for a second. I think I have fixed that in the editing room, but I have not re-rendered yet. Plus the slap still sounds a little off.

And there are a couple of spots where I think some dialogue is clipped in the edit.

Enjoy!
 
Dialogue was a bit stilted. I've known a person or two like the friend you describe. I didn't stay friends with them.
 
Do you feel it was stilted based on delivery, or based on the actual lines used? This way I know if I should alter the way I write dialogue for the future, or if the director needs to guide the actors differently.
 
I need to watch this again and make more comments as im in a writing class right now so i cant use sound.

Your initial shot is way to long. Remember the average movie cut is 7 seconds. Of couse you can go longer than this for various reasons, but its a decent rule of thumb. It was almost 38 seconds before you had your first cut. The initial shot i also felt was somewhat boring, this can be limited by various factors but one i found out the hard way is never shoot in small apartments with plain white or off white walls with minimal decorations (ie: the standard bachelor pad), its just a boring looking environment.

THe small pans you had were a little jerky again probably limit of the equipment, next time try to get a fluid head tripod.

I think you have some of the right ideas. I know plenty of people like you describe, but if you cant tell a good story doesnt matter how grandiose of a film you can create it still will not entertain, or captivate. I like you am looking to just make simple films for now. WHat capacity are you looking to work in? IMO, this short could have been shot with maybe a 1-2 person crew, so next time you can eliminate other people besides you for something small such as this. The more you get to do, the more you learn. Its great to find people who have more knowledge than you and pull them in. Finding people with ambition, but no knowlege and no desire to acquire it will just weigh you down. They wont realize why they never get the results they want, and they will just blame others around them (im guessing thats why the DP got berated). Never berate your crew or actors, especially if they are not getting paid. Best way to burn bridges. Maybe if you get big and famous and are some big shot director, but until then, be cool courteous and professional. Its ok to raise your voice to keep people on task, film sets can be fun. Fun enviroments can become jokey, and off task, but dont try to ever humiliate or make anyone feel small.

Best way to learn, is just to keep doing it.
 
I think even if you get big and famous, you should never berate your cast and crew. It won't endear them to you, and it's not going to get the best performance from them.

You're right, the opening shot is way too long. I'm was disappointed to find a lack in the footage of some medium shots of the speakers. I would have liked a progressive from wide to medium, and maybe then to close up.

Also, regarding the walls. Let me tell you, they look so ridiculously sparse in photos and in motion. I only moved here 4 months ago, and haven't finished little touches like pictures on all the walls. That big back wall is eventually going to have something, and possibly even another couch.

I honestly don't know if the pans were jerky because the camera man was green on this equipment, or as a limitation of the equipment. It's a very basic fluid head, the Manfrotto 701RC. I have been able to get fairly smooth slow pans while testing it myself, but I wasn't the one behind the camera.

I like what you said about small crew. At this level, a crew of two would have been able to get the same, if not better results, if they were all on the same page, than the mixed signals and communication we had.

I appreciate you taking the time to watch and respond. I think it's commentary like this that helps us all to learn and become better at what we're doing.
 
title is cool, you can make it like Spy Vs Spy, and make a youtube channel dude, with a new short every week or other day, be cool
 
Ok, i watched this last night and have a few notes.

I liked the performances of the shaggy haired guy and even the girl. The other guy was hit or miss. I though all his dialogue about the star wars stuff was a little slow and unatural. I dont think it was the writing, but his delivery, it basically just didnt sound natural and like something he would say.

I thought the dialogue itself was decent enough, but the subject matter has been done quite a bit. Its hard to get another laugh from a couple of nerds talking about star wars vs star trek, and unless you can really bring something original to the argument your basically just recycling other material.

Aside from the technical issues i mentioned before, it sounded ok for what it was, so good job on that.

I myself as a writer tend to lean towards non-fiction humor a lot, but as a film maker, i find humor one of the most difficult things to do. I find my own writing style leans towards a lot of inner thought monologue and its difficult to bring that to the screen in any other way than voice over. I adapated one of my short stories to a film a coupel years back and while i think it was ok, it wasnt as good as the original story. Just a note from my own experiences, your writing style may lend itself to a much more natural adaptation to screen, i felt like your writing of dialogue was sound.

Just something to think about.

I did like the fact that you kept it short and sweet. Good call on that, so many new film makers like to use every shot, etc... and end up with something 3x longer than it needs to be, i found you handled this well.

I like your writing style so i say write some more stuff, shoot it and keep it going. If you have access to the tools and the talent nothing is stopping you.
 
Really appreciate it. I agree that it is a typical scenario. It was something I wrote real quick at work just so we could have something to shoot. I'm currently working on some more original work, which I hope to have ready to shoot within the next couple of weeks.
 
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