Funniest movie lines or scenes

Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

In the movie Better Off Dead.

Scene: John Cusack wanders into dining room with jar of gasoline (about to use to burn himself to death). Neighbor's (Ricky) mom thinks gasoline is some liquor, drinks it, and then starts to light her cigarette. Cut to....

Scene:Cusack in car with Ricky. "I'm sorry I blew up your mom, Ricky"

I am on the floor, the closest I have come to wetting self since I was in diapers.

It is not so much the line, it is Cusack's delivery. Perfect!
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Napoleon Dynamite:

Deb "I'm trying to earn money for college"
Kip: "Your mom goes to college"

What makes it so funny though is the look on kips face!

Another funny one is in the deleted scenes at the kickball game

Don: "Hey Napoleon, did you wet the bed last night?"
Napoleon: "Hey don, did you take a dump in your bed last night?"

Anchorman:

Brick: Where did you guys get those clothes? The....toilet....store?
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

PDX_DVX, YES! That "did you take a dump in your bed" line is the best. I laughed so hard when I saw that. ;D
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Some of my favorite comedies, and excerpts of hilarity from them:

"Fargo":

CARL
I guess you think, ya know, you're
an authority figure. With that
stupid ****ing uniform. Huh, buddy?

The attendant doesn't say anything.

CARL
... King Clip-on Tie here. Big
****ing man.

He is peeling off one dollar bills.

CARL
... You know, these are the limits
of your life, man. Ruler of your
little ****ing gate here. There's
your four dollars. You pathetic
piece of ****.

Also, "Office Space":

"What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to "Vibe?"
"Back up in your ass with the resurrection."
"I'm thinking about taking that new chick from Logistics. If things go right I might be showing her my O-face. You know: Oh. Oh."

"Annie Hall":

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."

"Play it Again, Sam":

Allan: Some guys were getting tough with Julie. I had to teach them a lesson.
Dick: Are you all right?
Allan: Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.
****
Allan: You were fantastic last night in bed.
Linda: Oh thanks.
Allan: How do you feel now?
Linda: I think the Pepto Bismol helped.
****
Allan: I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Meg Ryan's public orgasm, followed by "I'll have what she's having" in "When Harry Met Sally..."
Classic!


Also, Dustin Hoffman banging his head against the wall after not knowing what to do while holding Anne Bancroft's breast in "The Graduate".
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

[quote author=Super_Trooper link=board=movies;num=1104901518;start=45#57 date=01/21/05 at 22:35:06]Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I had a doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't ! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...
[/quote]

HAHAH CLASSIC.

In that vein of Farley-isms:

"Housekeeping.. you want mint for pillow?"
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

bang bang bang bang.....you should do a story on me.
What have you done that's so special?
I got 126 confirmed enemy kills of men women and children.
Women and children? How do you kill them?
Easy, just don't lead'em so far.

Full Metal Jacket
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther Returns "I vant a ruume wit a pheune" :)
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Another Farley-ism:

"SNAKES!!!!!!...One looked at me!...Check your underpants!"
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Hot shots rulez!!!

1)
-Your ego's writin' cheques your body can't cash.

2)
- That is the whitest white part ofthe eye I've ever seen. Do you floss?

3)
- Can you save him?
- Can't be sure. I'm not a good doctor.

4)
- In exactly five hours and 17 minutes, we hit the enemy toast.
- I think that's the enemy coast, sir.
- Huh? Coast? That'll take a Iittle more planning.

hot shots 2 also

5)
- On two occasions we sent in squads to rescue those men. Both squads failed.
We must get the men who went to get the men who went to get the men.

6)
- I see you're no stranger to pain.
- I've been married.
- Ahhh..
- Twice.
-Oy!

7)
- President Benson, where's your first lady?
- I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15.

8)
Know what I'm gonna do if we make it? I'm gonna go back to Eagle River and marry my gal, Edith Mae. Gonna get us a nice little place with a white picket fence. You know the kind. Two-car garage. Maybe a fishing boat. And in 15 years, when they're all paid for... ...I'll set my charges and blow the **** out of them.

9)
- Hello, Lucky. Report my signal. Report my signal. Over.
- Hello, George Mike Walters. Strength three. Over.
- Recon reports Indians on the warpath in your area. Over.
- No Indians here. Over.
- Do not take literally. Repeat. Do not take literally. The vultures are circling
the carcass. Repeat. The vultures are circling the carcass.
- I see a couple of gulls, but...
- Pit bull's out of the cage. Crips are raiding the store.
- Hey, you yanking my crank?

I could go on and on... :) :)
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Dusk till dawn: "
"Were they psychos or somehting?"
" Psychos donnot explode when sunlight hits them, I dont carehow crazy they are...."
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

punch drunk love:
-i'm leaving on a vacation
"where you going barry"
-Just don't tell my sisters i'm going
"where you goin' barry?
-I'm going to hawaii
"Oh thats wondaful you goin' to hawaii!"
-yeah just don't tell my sisters
"OK Barry"
 
Re: Funniest movie lines or scenes

Army of Darkness :

"I got news for you pal. You ain't leadin' but two things right now, Jack and ****, and Jack left town."

Blazing Saddles:

"He'll think he's a chicken that got caught in a tractor's nuts!"

&

"HARRUMPH!!!"
 
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