"Four" - A film by Amy Beth O'Brien

Nice and polished short.

I'm not sure if "being in time out" really qualifies as a story. Maybe if there was something unique about this timeout, or it was interspliced or followed by the reason she is in timeout.

The film was shot well, the girl was cute, and the music was nice.

I couldn't make out the last line, and I wanted to. I would have liked a slightly faster pace of editing.

Nice to see a different kind of entry. Good work!
 
Dunno how much story you have to have for 3:45.

I thought it was a nice portrait of a moment and a kid. Enough story for a feature? No. But here the story is dealing with time out. The objective - not to go nuts or to occupy yourself in ways that don't get you into more trouble. The obstacle - time.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. With such a minimalist story you need a really cute kid and you of course had no problems there.

Jason might be on to something with the editing note he gave. Also, some camera movement might have been nice - then again it might have undercut the feeling of time standing still which maybe the static shots served more.

Could not hear the last line, had to play it back several times to understand it, and I wasn't sure she was on Time Out until then. Thought possibly she was waiting for someone to get home or something, so do something about that line please. Easy fix and it's a fine film and deserves a clear button.

So, very enjoyable simple but nuanced thing you have here.

:beer:
 
Oh man, tried to watch this a few times before I finally made myself sit through it. It's really hard to sit and watch someone sitting and being bored without sitting here and feeling bored. It was excruciating. And in that sense it's a real success because I really do feel how the little girl feels, I'm not being sarcastic, you really conveyed that well... The little girl is adorable but there was no story arc, no character development, it was just what felt like endless waiting and then it was finally over... I would love to see the same idea with a bit more of a story behind it... It's a great concept that would be more engaging if there was some sort of story, something on the line, anything. Even if we knew why she was being punished and she was sitting there realizing why she was bad... Otherwise good sound, well chosen music, and your shots were really nice. I think you have something there... but as the viewer I need more.
 
Thanks for your comments, guys. I hear what you are saying about the pace. I'm torn on that issue, especially because I've gotten feedback both pro and con on it. I will take another look at it when the fest is over.

Justin, I especially want to thank you for making a point to watch the whole movie. I'm sorry the story didn't work for you, but I appreciate your feedback.
 
As far as being boring, I think what kept me watching was the mystery. Was a giant polar bear going to burst through the wall on a jet ski? You don't know. Was the girl going to suddenly start foaming at the mouth and turn into some space alien? You don't know. That is why I watched, the intrigue, the "what the hell is going on?" turns out she was on a time out and I say "Ah, that's nice. Glad she didn't get shot..." I liked it.
 
Hmm, I wonder if I could get the Fat Monster dudes to make me a polar bear on a jet ski scene. . . :laugh:

Thanks for your comments, Nick!
 
Well, I am nowhere near as good as Mark, but I thought I would give it a shot:

1214549044.jpg
 
This was cute. Simple. The way it should be. I was very impressed with the girl. So cute and she played the comedic moments well.

I couldnt understand what the voice was saying at the end either. I dont have external speakers right now so I couldnt turn it up higher than my mbp speakers. I thought she was waiting for someone to come home, but I think it would be better if it was a timeout. I think everyone can relate to being on a timeout and all you want to do is play. It has a RPDM effect on kids! Well, not quite but you get the point.

I do think some shot movement would have added a little variety and keep it interesting, but I was fine with static. I thought you used the static shots well, especially with the jump cuts on the couch.

Great Film, AmyO
 
AmyO said:
Hmm, I wonder if I could get the Fat Monster dudes to make me a polar bear on a jet ski scene. . . :laugh:
Click to expand...

Ummm, just recently had a request for a grizzly bear. Maybe..... ummmm...leave it with me. Not sure how that will fit into the story though. :)


//Oh, and penguin, make an effort.
 
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Arrik, thanks for your comments. Perception of time was definitely something I wanted to play with in this film, so I'm happy that some people are getting that.

If I'm asked to be on a DVD, I will fix the sound. I promise!
 
I really love the simplicity of the story. I think the pacing is a bit off- slow and jerky at a very subtle level, I think it can be corrected if you take another pass at it with fresh eyes.

You really had me at the final montage I laughed out loud at the meditation pose.

It looked like either your autofocus was on or you pulled focus a bit late for a couple of spots. That was a bit distracting. Couple of your camera moves could have been a bit smoother, but absolutely forgivable since you're working with a child.

All in all a very nice piece. I enjoyed it.
 
ConspiracyPenguin said:
Are you poo pooing kidding me!? Do you know how much time I spent on that? How many pictures I had to crop and resize? How many layers I had to rip apart? All that hard work and you just spit on it! Disgusting! :grin:
Click to expand...


Do you know how much time I spent on that? 30 seconds?
How many pictures I had to crop and resize? One?
How many layers I had to rip apart? One?
All that hard work and you just spit on it! That wasn't spit. :happy:
:-Laugh(DBG)-1

We return now to your regularly scheduled broadcast.
 
Raptor365 said:
Do you know how much time I spent on that? 30 seconds?
How many pictures I had to crop and resize? One?
How many layers I had to rip apart? One?
All that hard work and you just spit on it! That wasn't spit. :happy:
:-Laugh(DBG)-1

We return now to your regularly scheduled broadcast.
Click to expand...

NO! No we don't! I spent probably 30 MINUTES on that. I had to edit 4 different photos and rip apart 3 different layers. And, well, maybe it wasn't spit but it was disrespectful either way! :D
 
Amy, I really enjoyed the little short. Cute little girl. Having two four year olds and an 8 year old around our house this past month I really picked up on the ‘timeout’ right off the bat. I just wasn’t sold on that concept until of course when the moment says, ‘Time out’s over”. Except my nieces/nephew would have been crying the entire time while sitting there. At least a sour face.
I think the weakest part of the film was the sound FX. I think some stellar sound FX along with some more off screen dialog would have really made the film sonically. Otherwise, it seems pretty bare. Good thing the music was playing the entire time which, btw, worked really well with the little girl.
 
Raptor,

Don't feel bad. You should know me well enough now to realize only 10% of the things I post are serious. Typically when I use fancy smiley faces in my post it means I am being sarcastic :grin: :D etc...

Those are very nice, thank you for showing me up, kind of, although the point was to put a polar bear on a jet ski bursting through the wall! So, as of now, I think I still win! Even though your pieces were bloody fantastic. Bwahahahahahaha! :evil:

But if this is a "do whatever you want in PS" contest, I may do something quite nice tomorrow and post it. We will see, won't we?
 
I hope you don't mind Amy, us hijacking your thread.

If it were up to me, I'd rewrite and reshoot it with a new middle story, but keep the beginning and ending. I'd love to do something like this where what starts off as a punishment for the kid, she starts reading a book then her imagination comes alive. We then try and show the wonder of what she's imagining.

Then when the -spolier- is called, there's a pause and she decides to go back to her book instead of what she was doing before.

I would love to do something like that down the road.
 
I don't mind at all. I meant to get back here and say how much I enjoyed your photoshopping. Your pics remind me of the conversation I had with my writer's group when I presented the script for "Four." Originally, the concept was for the four minute time out to take the whole six minute time limit. The group (rightfully) vetoed that idea. Then we went on a tangent about how the only way it would work to extend the time is to make a feature out of it. I then suggested a Alice In Wonderland type thing where she keeps going on daydream-like adventures and comes back to find only a minute has passed, which is kind of along the lines of your suggestion.

Now I will get back to patiently awaiting the announcement of the second round of voting. I want to know if my faves made it . . .
 
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