First DVX short!

RyanT

RyanT

Veteran
This is actually my second short that I've actually completed as well as the first I've attempted to light. It may be a little weird, but I'm sure you'll all see the humor in it. As for my talent, all I have for now are my friends :( he's a cool kid though!


Broom...Ryan
 
Ryan,

Here are some comments:

1. Nothing screams amateur more than bad sound and I'm afraid your short had it pretty bad. The background ambience was so overpowering it almost drowned out the dialogue. If you are serious about making films, take the time to learn about sound. Good sound is a product of knowledge, not just equipment.

2. Learn to edit. There is a real art in being able to compress time effectively and still give the audience the impression that a longer period has passed. The real-time aspect of your short didn't work for me, I found myself skipping through some of it.

3. This, to me, was more of a skit that didn't go anywhere. I think you could spend a little time coming up with an interesting twist at the end instead of having it fade out to oblivion.

Feel good about actually shooting the film. That's a lot further than many people get but learn from the experience every time. Honing your craft requires refinement, stripping the film down to the bare essence of the story you want to tell. Don't waste a single frame, be really conscious of every shot and every editing decision you make. Be a perfectionist and be confident and proud of your work. You do all that and you will be well on your way.

Congratulations on number 2, now move on to number 3 and make it better.
 
Too long for the idea. Should have done more things than just play alot of chess. It was kind of quiet during the movie and than at the end the music bust in about 12 notches higher than the rest... which may be funny to some people but for others its annoying when you are sitting near the monitor and speakers. Thanks for posting this
 
definitely reminds me of my first short i did last year around this time...
haha, seriously keep on trucking and you'll get so much better you won't even believe it.
quick question...did you shoot 24pa?
 
videoshark said:
the last scene could have had another angle or two...the long shot OVS got old..
keep on....
Click to expand...


I agree with that, as I begin to watch this more I realize how boring the last part became and found myself not wanting to watch it. As for the audio my main problem was the dishwasher and as I look back on it I wonder as to why I didn't turn it off.

Thanks for your suggestions and I'll take in them into account on my next short. I'm thinking a much better story will help me on that one.
 
Heh funny little story... people are right about the audio. Still I watched it through.... I am not a broom! Anyway i know this sounds anal ... but not liking the use of unlicensed music.
 
I didn't think the short was weird... It actually has some potential. keeping workin' it, it will only get better.
 
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