Feedback for my Short Test

H

Homunculus

Carbonite Member
hello everyone. Here is a hacked gh1 test I did as an ongoing little short I am using to practice my editing and color correcting skills.

Please shred this first effort of mine and don't be shy to be as critical as possible because it's only a little test short that took me an hour to make so I won't take anything personally. I just want to know what ya'll think so far in terms of shot composition, color grading, editing, etc.
Don't mind the obvious messups though for instance shaky cam in a few shots this is because I was moving so fast I didn't have time to deploy the tripod in a few shots so tried to do as steady a hand held shot as possible. And also my lighting is visible in a few shots, once again I didn't care to waste effort moving it when I could have easily moved it back a couple feet only because I was trying to go real fast and like I said since this is not a real short but more of a training exercise, so I didn't mind.

I do have an actual storyline I plan to incorporate this into a fuller short but I still have a lot left to shoot and everything here that you see was more of a proof of concept and test that I may just reshoot most of the scenes with far more locked down shots with tripods and a steadier hand, etc.

Here it is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyOWM70kVGI



oh and most importantly please critically grade my lighting, and tell me what looks filmic/cinematic and what doesn't. And whether the whole thing in general looks cinematic/filmic or not

thanks everyone





Mods: please delete the thread I made in User Films about this as I meant to make it here anyway and no one responded over there


thank you
 
well in terms of lighting/temps- for me they differ in 3 consecutive shots - they go :22 even/warm, :23 warmer, :30 cool, so for me it is dis-jointed in terms of lighting continuity.

Again from :58 to 1:01 it goes from warm to cold.

I like the edits from 1:07 to 1:30, showing the passage of time, subject thinking, wondering, - this worked for me.

I'd say in terms of grading this piece, (which is set to be a singular scene), you really have to pay attention to a consistent color temp, is it warm? or is it cool? or is it both? for me the randomness of it made me believe that it was possibly not intended to be both. I would say, given the music that is playing- and the expression on the subject's face that this is a somber piece, in which case you may want to dial everything to a cooler temperature....kind of 'sad and blue' eh?? That includes shooting from exteriors- If the whole piece had that blue-hue, it would hit home the somber tone of the piece.....

but then again this is all personal preference---for all I know, she's holding onto a million dollar life insurance check that she rec'd after knocking off her husband (boy in picture), and soaking in the moment of his sweet demise with a glass of Pinot Grigio.... if that's the case then turn that temperature UP!! It's PARTY TIME!!!:beer:

Thanks for sharing-- keep at it !!
 
Editing is OK and allows it to breath, but is a bit difficult to judge in a test out of context. Lighting is a bit flat and it and the color are inconsistent from shot to shot within the scenes. Other than that, it's hard to say because, as you pointed out, it's a bit shaky and is a test.
 
As mentioned your colours and exposures are pretty much all over the place. Id suggest a lot of your issue is in the process youre currently using.

Cant say much on the editing as theres no fluid story line it's hard to judge the choices. But, on the shots overall much of it seems unmotivated and repetative. For example the second shot follows the photo to the girl and then cuts to a slightly OTS shot.

But here's how I would have looked at from a directing perspective.

We have already seen the photo, we know the subject. You introduce a character (the girl) who picks up the photo. I then think OK so what does the photo mean to her, what will her reaction to the photo tell me about her? Do I want my audience to know more information about her at that time? If so, then why a cut that seems only to show more photo? I would cut to a CU of her face, how is she looking at it? What can I tell the audience here about who she is?

So this is the overall issue as I see it. Shots are undertaken, just because, and with too little - how it serves to drive the story/emotion/feeling you are trying to portray.
 
On lighting - a little bit like my last post. Its lit, but doesnt seem motivated to any one point. Theres a lot of spill and your colour balances to exterior seems to serve little purpose.

Now I have used cold exteriors to tell something of the persons own feeling of the world outside, but its just not clear here.

As a quick and dirty I would CTB the lot for uniformity.
 
wow you guys are great thanks a lot. that's great help. it helped me put into words and formulate the ideas that I couldn't quite pinpoint myself. I will take all this into account on my next test.

by the way, how do I handle a scene like the middle where she's sitting at the table with the candle. obviously the light streaming through the window is cool and is the primary light source so I white balance the cam to daylight. however hwat if I still want to retain some artistic warm/orange lights as practicals in the shot. what's the best way to do this without ugly spill as noel evans pointed out and without it looking amateurish? Or is it best to just CTB the practicals and keep everything blue?

thanks
 
Shooting interiors with windows can be tricky- as you pointed out. In a situation like this, Your either matching to your exterior or to your artificial light, (interior). In my opinion it is much easier to match to exterior- by throwing some gels, (CTB/CTO- whichever it calls for) on your lights. However if you wanted to alter your exterior you would need to wrap your window, (on the outside), with a giant gel, ND filter to knock down the exposure as well as color temp- CTB/CTO. In my opinion- get it all even- easiest way possible, i.e. adjust your interior lighting to match exterior, then tweak in post- either direction
 
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