Favorite Production Quote

S

Sad Max

Artful Dodger
What's your favorite quote, that you have heard while working on any given production project?

So far, on this show, my favorite has to be the director, plaintively exclaiming during a bogged-down, aimlessly-swirling production meeting with the Disney people and their #&*(!))! notes...


"You have guinea pigs saving the world from terminator appliances. It's so simple!"
 
When the shot is all lit but before you roll-"Stevie Wonder would kill to see this."

When the crew doesn't seem to have their mojo yet-"That was like a well oiled cement mixer"
 
My favorite one (or two similar in this case):

Actor: "Did you hear the floor squeaking during that take?"

Boom Operator: "The only squeaking I hear is you."

Then on a different shoot:

Writer/Actor: "Did you hear the dogs in the background during that take?"

Boom Operator: "The only thing I hear is bad dialogue."


I don't work with that boom operator anymore. Shoulda learned that the first time.
 
Director to DP (me)


"Im Gonna go take a nap. Shoot this scene... sort of like how i ve been doing it so far... See y a guys in a bit."

( mind you this film wound up making it into a well known NY Film festival...)
 
TimurCivan said:
Director to DP (me)


"Im Gonna go take a nap. Shoot this scene... sort of like how i ve been doing it so far... See y a guys in a bit."

( mind you this film wound up making it into a well known NY Film festival...)
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I've had the same thing happen to me. I was camera operating and the director and the DP left to go smoke. They told me and the AD to run the set.

They came back about 20 minutes later. Ironically, (or not so much) it was the most productive 20 minutes of the entire production.
 
"Hey robbie, are you ready to film?"
"No, im not done the script!"
"So what? We can gun it!"

Ugh... i hate that
 
Sad Max said:
"You have guinea pigs saving the world from terminator appliances. It's so simple!"
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Either you're working on G-Force or we're going to be berated with a string of guinea pig movies because everyone got sick of the penguins. :beer:

On almost every shoot I've ever been on, I hear this and it always makes me laugh: "We're doing good- might even finish a little early."
 
Producer to director: "We're running late, finish the shot."
Director: "How far behind?"
Producer: "An hour."
Director: "We're fine. I just need the dolly."

And, of course, the always-classic "We'll fix that in post."
 
Recently

A DP would say (when getting impatient)

"We're losing light."

But we were on Interior sets when he said it; hilarious.
 
Oh damn, where do I start? OK I'll start with my favorite I wasn't involved with.

On Apocalypse Now - FFC screaming into a phone when told that Marty Sheen had just had a heart attack. "I don't ****ing care - he's dead when I SAY HE'S DEAD!!" (i'm paraphrasing, oy!)

From the SFX Supervisor to our clueless PA:

"When you have high-explosives and black powder in the front seat of the truck I would appreciate it if you wouldn't smoke." - came the reply "why?" - and the answer "because I don't want to meet your mom at the funeral and tell her you died because you were ****ing stupid."

Camera "whoops"

Director to Clairmont Camera techie: "What was that noise?" - answer "the sound of the last filmpack being loaded". Director "What do you mean?", techie "in your terms it means early call tomororw. in my terms it means you can't do a 48th take of this scene and i get to see my kids for the first time in over a month!!!" The first AD swallowed his tongue to keep from laughing, the rest of us just pissed ourselves.
 
One of my favorites from a set I was on -

While setting up for a scene the dolly grip asks the director "what are we doing here?"
The director proceeds to explain the content and intent of the scene, going into backstory and character motivations as well as plot ramifications of the scene we're about to shoot. He speaks for no less than about 3 or 4 minutes straight. When he finally finishes there is a moment of silence before the dolly grip asks, in a totally sincere and straight tone - "so..... boom up?"

I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.



But I also always try to remember that story to remind myself that sometimes people just want to know what they need to know to get their job done.
:thumbsup:


Another classic was a director on a set a friend of mine worked on who apparently continually said the phrase
"I'd rather do it now than do it right!"
 
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One funny quote (from me) when I was shooting my hallowfest short...

I was cueing lights and I yelled, but my voice didn't work... so it went something like this...

"LIGHT(squeak)S....!"

EVERYONE just laughed! ha ha ha
 
Someone that I was talking to who visited the Transformer's set (paraphrase):

Michael Bay: Why is this Coke warm? I asked for a goddamned cold Coke. We're not finishing this until I get my Coke.

Then 3 minions scatter to craft services.
 
TC said:
Someone that I was talking to who visited the Transformer's set (paraphrase):

Michael Bay: Why is this Coke warm? I asked for a goddamned cold Coke. We're not finishing this until I get my Coke.

Then 3 minions scatter to craft services.
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Me: Why is this Transformers movie warm? i asked for a goddamned cool Transformers movie!
 
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