Fate's Way

[element]

This was originally submitted for Twilight Fest, but unfortunately didn't make it far.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtHXjaRWl6o

This was made by a few friends of mine and myself in my digital media class.
Well this is a more refined and better edited version. The poor use of time for the version submitted was a big factor.
I was not the chief editor in this film, and I give all the credit to my friend, but I did take this new version and tweaked it a bit.
We were not expecting this to be such a huge video. But we feel that it came out fairly decent.

 

[Jon Starr]

It was alright. There are some parts better than others.

First of all, when in the pawn shop, why can't she take it. It's hot? Is it some sort of pawn shop talk? Secondly, why does the kid just take it without question, especially after the man says "you'll pay for it, some day" (which btw, gives away the ending right away, or at least clues to the ending). The whole encounter at the pawn shop should have been mysterious, and strange. Here it looked more like you designed it in a simple way for the kid to get the device.

For something that I thought would have been a cool old talisman, or a creepy shrunken head, it kinda seems less mystical when it's a GPS device. My mind was going 'What is it? What is it? It looks cool wrapped in that cloth. Oh it's a screen... oh, a gps... meh"

When it started to lead him somewhere, well the "you'll pay for it, some day" just took away any mystery or mysticism from the whole film. The only thing left to know is where he's going. And what do we get? A place with a bunch of dead guys with so-so makeup. When the man appeared, it wasn't so much "OMG", but more "yeah, I was expecting him."

Another thing is the dialogue when he was driving. GPS would tell him to go one way, and he would do it but right away say "that's not right", "That's wrong". First of all, it got annoying, and secondly, why didn't he turn around if he knew it was wrong? Not everyone trusts GPS systems blindly, especially not if they think it's wrong, and doubly especially if the kid got it from some strange man. I would probably think "stupid gps, I'll ask for directions" or "wow it must be broken, that's why he gave it to me"

Lastly, why did he stop? There are dead people everywhere, so the natural thing is to stop and run up to a house? I would just turn around and drive away.

The main problem with the film is it doesn't have any mystery or intrigue. You're not left wondering what's going to happen next. At the same time the mood that's set is very monotone, when it should be layered and mystical. The second problem is that it's written in a way that's more convenient for the writer, and not taking into account "what would the character do or think?" Because if the main character was at least a bit rational and thought for even a second, there would have been no story or ending. Why couldn't the car have broken down in front of the house? Why couldn't it have been a cool talisman or old compass, leading the way and he's following it because he's intrigued.

Some shots were nice in the pawn shop though. Also I liked the actor that played the older man. Felt like if you worked with him, with mood, lighting, script, you could come out with a pretty cool mysterious character.

 

[murraymile]

It was alright. There are some parts better than others.

First of all, when in the pawn shop, why can't she take it. It's hot? Is it some sort of pawn shop talk? Secondly, why does the kid just take it without question, especially after the man says "you'll pay for it, some day" (which btw, gives away the ending right away, or at least clues to the ending). The whole encounter at the pawn shop should have been mysterious, and strange. Here it looked more like you designed it in a simple way for the kid to get the device.

For something that I thought would have been a cool old talisman, or a creepy shrunken head, it kinda seems less mystical when it's a GPS device. My mind was going 'What is it? What is it? It looks cool wrapped in that cloth. Oh it's a screen... oh, a gps... meh"

When it started to lead him somewhere, well the "you'll pay for it, some day" just took away any mystery or mysticism from the whole film. The only thing left to know is where he's going. And what do we get? A place with a bunch of dead guys with so-so makeup. When the man appeared, it wasn't so much "OMG", but more "yeah, I was expecting him."

Another thing is the dialogue when he was driving. GPS would tell him to go one way, and he would do it but right away say "that's not right", "That's wrong". First of all, it got annoying, and secondly, why didn't he turn around if he knew it was wrong? Not everyone trusts GPS systems blindly, especially not if they think it's wrong, and doubly especially if the kid got it from some strange man. I would probably think "stupid gps, I'll ask for directions" or "wow it must be broken, that's why he gave it to me"

Lastly, why did he stop? There are dead people everywhere, so the natural thing is to stop and run up to a house? I would just turn around and drive away.

The main problem with the film is it doesn't have any mystery or intrigue. You're not left wondering what's going to happen next. At the same time the mood that's set is very monotone, when it should be layered and mystical. The second problem is that it's written in a way that's more convenient for the writer, and not taking into account "what would the character do or think?" Because if the main character was at least a bit rational and thought for even a second, there would have been no story or ending. Why couldn't the car have broken down in front of the house? Why couldn't it have been a cool talisman or old compass, leading the way and he's following it because he's intrigued.

Some shots were nice in the pawn shop though. Also I liked the actor that played the older man. Felt like if you worked with him, with mood, lighting, script, you could come out with a pretty cool mysterious character.

Your right. Location / production design is a big factor for telling a story. I'm a person which I will watch something for the first 2 minutes, if you don't grab me then; I'll be doing something else with my time. Also, if the story isn't strong, and you're using your friends as talent..then also, that is a turn off. At least you tried. Start watching director commentary and you'll learn a lot.

Cheers,

Murray