Facebook Etiquette Question

Chris Messineo

Chris Messineo

Veteran
I'm on a Facebook and I like it a lot. I have several friends from DVXuser and it's cool to be able to network and keep up with each other's projects.

However, every so often I get a request to be a friend with someone and I have no idea who the person is. I think they are probably DVXuser members who don't use their real name here, but they do on Facebook, and without a message from them I can't tell who they are.

Is this happening to other people and if so, what do you do?
 
I find it annoying when someone, anyone, sends a friendship request with no message. So when someone who you may or may not recognize does that, a message asking how you know the person is certainly in order. Just know that responding will enable him to view your info page. In case you were unaware, you should be able to view his info page now that he has sent a request to you.
 
First, I check for mutual friends. That can clue me in to how I may or may not know this person.

Really, FB etiquette would tell me that, when friend requesting some one who may not recognize me off the bat, adding a message to the friend request would be the best thing to do.

I ignore tons of friend requests because I have no clue who the people are, but if I am unsure, I'll send them a message first and ask how they know me.
 
I just ignore people I don't know. Most request from DVXuser users who don't use their real name on here do include a message. Still, you're not obligated to be anyone's friend. Although actual friends might not appreciate it if you turn them down. :)
 
Agreed with what everyone is saying. And if you do turn them down, it's not like they receive a "Chris denied your friend request" notification.
 
I would suggest writing them back a nice, short message explaining that you can't remember where you know them from. Something like:

"Thanks for the friend request. I can be bad with names sometimes so I apologize, but if you can remind me of where we know each other I'll gladly accept your friend request."

I've been on both ends of the stick on that one. One time I met this very talented DP in my area that I have wanted to work with and hire and we had a conversation for about 5 minutes, he gave me his reel and we talked shop. A day or two later I saw that he was on facebook and sent him a friend request. He denied the request and sent this response "Sorry, I have no clue who you are!".

Needless to say I felt very stupid having to reply back and tell him that I'm the guy he just gave his reel to and had a conversation with a few days ago. Fast forward a few months and I'm in pre-production for an infomercial and looking to hire a DP and I want to hire him, but I'd be lying if that previous boggled exchange won't be in the back of my head when I talk to him about the gig.

Moral of the story: I probably shouldn't have sent him a friend request having only met him once and he should have put more effort in coming off friendly and sincere.
 
people get sent friend requests on facebook? i've never had one before. :crybaby:
 
I make friends with every single person who requests it because they're potentially a fan of something I did.
 
TimurCivan said:
Ugufan,

you have to join facebook first....
Click to expand...

i'm sorry, but do i know you? i've never seen you around here before. :evil: but yes, you're right i'm not on facebook. i just like to feign sadness over the internet in order to get virtual sympathy. :cheesy:
 
Zak Forsman said:
I make friends with every single person who requests it because they're potentially a fan of something I did.
Click to expand...

This may not be the smartest approach to popularity, but I'm only friends with people I like.

If a stranger makes a request and I can't look at their profile w/o becoming a friend... I ignore it...

If somebody makes a friend request and 12 of my other friends already know that person, then I already know I'd like that person... and I accept it.

Over-simplified? Whatever...
 
I think Zaks approach is great if you're trying to promote something, etc. So in his case that would be in his best interests. Otherwise I think it pays to keep a record on who you're adding or you'll end up with a big list of friends who you have no idea who they are.

Personally I don't like/use facebook, if anyone really wants to contact me they can pick up a phone. I can see it being really useful for showing people films and blogs and stuff though... myspace is pretty good for that too.
 
A relatively new feature of Facebook allows you to group friends into categories.

So I have my true friends (all two of them), then business "friends", music "friends", film "friends", and "other". Anyone I don't know or don't like goes into "other".

Nobody knows that they get grouped, so you can send different notes to different groups or let them see different things and no one can tell.
 
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