SHORT: Every Day the Same

[Raji Barbir]

Hey everyone,

Brand new to the community and thought I'd introduce myself by sharing a film I shot back on January 20th, 2010.

I had pre-ordered my 1D MkIV and it was to arrive on Monday the 18th. As it happens, I had ordered 2 new lenses from B&H (16-35mm 2.8L and 85mm 1.2L) and THEY were scheduled to arrive just a day after. So naturally, I shot the film the very first day I could; on the 20th.

I had had this concept in my head for some time with one particular image fueling the whole production: the image of a woman in a train happily going home from work to something less dreary.

Here's a couple screenshots from the film:

As the shooting day approached, I realized two main things:

1. I needed to flesh out the story to more than just her going home. So I had her going TO work as well. Easy.

2. I wanted to keep the story very loose, with just an outline written for the whole thing and then I'd figure out what shots I wanted to move the story along. No screenplay or specific shots (except the shot of her going home with her head leaning on the window)

What ended up happening was interesting. I wanted this to be a happy story with the main character going home from work to a boyfriend or husband. What I finished with was quite different, though I don't wanna give that away here. Suffice it to say that it's not some twist ending, just a different emotional resolution than I had anticipated.

I did this as a test to figure out a number of things:

Focus - I knew manual would be tough, but before doing something serious, I needed to know HOW tough (without any aid - ie. I manually focused right from the lens, no follow focus or rigs)

Wobble - The 1D MkIV supposedly managed the dreaded jell-o effect better than the 5D and since I knew I wasn't yet going to invest in a support rig, I wanted to see how it managed. It obviously still struggled (in the train and walking to the revolving doors being the two places where it's most obvious - to me at least), but it did seem to manage the wobble better than the 5D from footage I've seen of it.

Exercise - I've noticed myself getting better at catching a shot here and there that were compositionally well executed. I'm a photographer by trade and I love that I can now have access to all my pro lenses and can see things the way I do when I'm taking still pictures.

Shallow-Depth-of-Field - Because I couldn't resist. I'd been shooting with a Canon XL2 before my house was broken into and the XL2 was stolen. Blessing in disguise! haha. Insurance covered it for the original price and I was able to get the 1D MkIV that much more easily

Here's the official poster:

And here's the DVD design (for on-the-disc printing):

Both the poster and the DVD design were obviously also shot with the MkIV. I used both the lenses mentioned above, plus the 24-70mm 2.8L. I didn't use my 70-200mm 2.8L IS but I have since then and a little word of warning - turn off the IS on it before shooting. I think it causes more wobble. And try not to shoot handheld like I did, it makes everything worse at 200mm haha. The shot of her on the bed were shot with the 85mm at 1.2 but there was zero wobble there, so I personally think it's the 70-200's IS that caused trouble.

Other details:

I did create the music using Cubase Studio 5 and a VSTi called Vienna Symphonic Library. Very expensive but incredible.

Enjoy!

Would love to hear your thoughts on what can be improved, what you liked, etc

 

[ikander]

Footage looks sharp, but there isn't a lot "story." I literally fast forwarded through the whole thing and still got the gist.

 

[Raji Barbir]

myeah... Mostly just a test. I have another story coming soon, this time with an actual screenplay. Thanks for the feedback though!

 

[dre83]

the sound of the alarmclock doesn't has to be louder when it's closer in image... If your alarmclock is going on, it also doesn't make a big difference if you're 1 inch from it or 10 feet

it's good you kept the "original sounds" and not only the music


Have you written in your script: we SEE the girl is unhappy, we SEE the girl is going to her job, we SEE.....

Watch out with "we SEE" stuff.... viewers don't always "see" things which you want them to see


I had a lot "and then ???" reactions: she takes the bus... so what ??? , she goes outside, so what ???, she enters an office, so what ???

But I know you want to tell that she always doing the same thing, every day and that makes her miserable.... I think it would be more clear if you added more "wake up" scenes, more "taking the same bus", with clearly the nr of the bus (extreem close up on time and some medium the other times or so) so we see clearly she's doing every day the same thing.

There's a movie about a guy who has every day the same day.... But I forgot the title...

 

[Jon Starr]

I know this is a test, but you're putting it out there like a short film. You're cutting the shots to music, in chronological order as a narrative. Unfortunately the narrative is really nothing worth sticking around for.

As a Test:

It's alright. I suppose it's more of practice then a test? Not really sure what you're testing. It's a bit shaky, get's a bit nauseating at times (maybe it's because I'm watching on a big screen).

As a short: Even though film mimics real life, actual real life is boring. That seems to be all that this piece highlights. Aside from this is goes on for just too long. Normally people put too much in between the moments that move story forward (like walking, doing something pointless, etc.) It feels like this is all the piece is. At times I was wondering 'is something going to happen'?

Some of the sounds need work. Dre likes that used used the original sounds, but some of them bugged me. For example, I cringed at the light screech those heels made when she put them on. Things just felt weird in an audible sense. Good foley is always best.

The cinematography is so-so. I mean it's framed well, moderately composed, but nothing special. That's what a piece like this needs. If there's no narrative, something needs to carry it along, and usually filmmakers answer that with visuals. Also, as mentioned, the shaky cam is too shaky.

Try for your next piece to move away from the Shaky docu indy look. It's getting a bit cliche nowadays. Beautiful and professional work can be done with static or smooth movement shots.


Good luck. It's a promising start!

 

[dre83]

The screech of the heels is indeed not that nice to hear, and is better to be foleyd.

I haven't given sound critics in details . But in a way I like it that it's not a "music video" with only only only only only music.

Of course, it's not yet perfect.

 

[Raji Barbir]

@dre83, thanks I think you're right; I should have done this with much more repetition (though faster) to make the idea work better. I didn't have a script, just an outline to have a basic idea of where the film should go next. I had the outline from beginning to end but no specific shots planned out. So nothing about "we see" this or that.

@Jon, thanks for the extended critique I feel like I'm flip-flopping now, but it was supposed to be both. I did create it to be a short film, but I was so new to the gear that it was a quickie way to test it out too. I find pure tests to be incredibly boring to watch and there's 12 billion of them on Vimeo. I was more interested in trying to say something with the test.

Don't know if that makes sense. But so I appreciate that you critiqued it as a short.

Have you seen New York I Love You? I don't think I bought the DVD until I made my own film, but there was a short film on there with Kevin Bacon in it. It was just the story of him going from his tiny apartment in downtown Manhattan to Coney Island. He doesn't say more than 2 words in it.

I'll have to look at it again and try to figure out why mine was boring while his was interesting, because really it's just showing his horrible, miserable, lonely life in his minuscule apartment, then his experience with a rude New York deli guy, then going to the vast expanse of Coney Island's beaches and eating a hot dog at the pier.

The reason I mention this is because of your comment about it being boring. I don't disagree, I'm just saying that I'm trying to figure out WHY it's that way when I've seen the boring daily life (as you mentioned) done great.

I agree that the cinematography should have been better... As a photographer I have no excuse on that one.

Finally, sound and shaky camera. It only seemed shaky in 2 shots for me... which ones bothered you? I have a 30" HP monitor so I've seen it pretty big in full-res. As for sound, I'm surprised the high heel scraping on the tiled floor bothered you... I have a pair of Mackie MR5 reference monitors and even there it doesn't seem too loud.

Hell, the clarinet is way too loud and obnoxious in the part where she's in her car going to work

Anyway, thanks a ton for all your input all of you, this is very helpful!

 

[dre83]

it is not the LOUDNESS of the heel sound, it's the sound itself that doesn't match

 

[Jon Starr]

I have not seen New York I love you unfortunately. I can take a stab at why that short may be different from yours? Perhaps it's about conflict. Not sure how much you are into writing, but everything is about conflict. Not in the traditional fist fight argument conflict, but there's an obstacle, or something to over-come. It's sometimes clear as day, like say a nuclear bomb about to go off, or it could be something as subtle as trying to find your way home, trying to avoid the neighborhood dog... whatever...

What your short lacked was conflict. It didn't seem like she was struggling with her life, with her boring job. She just accepted it, and went through her day. Not even any attempt to change it. She seemed down, but there wasn't really any conflict.