End of the Tour...short psychological thriller...feedback appreciated

DecadenceFilms

DecadenceFilms

Active member
Hi guys,

I'd be very grateful if you could check out my latest short, End of the Tour, and let me know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/user/scartissuefilms

It's in two parts and runs at around 14 minutes.

Shot on the HPX 500 and featuring great performaces from Marc Baylis, Miranada Keeling and Peter Halpin, I'm sure you'll find it an interesting ride.

BTW...If anyone would be kind enough to subscribe to my Youtube Channel, I will gladly repay the favour.

All the best,

Rick Kinsella

Scar Tissue Films
 
This was the best short I've ever seen, period.

My only critique would be the sound at some points, the levels of the characters can be kind of low. Also, would have done some more closeup shots of the character's faces to show their anguish instead of those wide shots.

This is truthfully the best short I've ever seen, fully engaged the entire film throughout.
 
Really enjoyed it. I could have done with out so much movement with the camera but it doesn't really hurt it overall I guess. Notcied some shadows seemed to be coming from weird directions which again is not a show stopper.

I loved the conversation on the phone at the beginning through the sniper scope.

Subscribed!!!(rtkiiiprod) I would love to see more films from you. I alos sent to a couple friends who might enjoy this.
 
Not shabby. From the beginning hook I had to see where you took the story.

The gunman went from a frantic confused state to an almost instantly calm state in the chair. He then looked like he was enjoying himself just a minute or two later, then crying with his wife. I felt the changes were all way too fast and unnatural.

Were you going for a flat lighting/detail look? And the times the camera rolled on the axis kind of annoyed me. The dutch angle on the gunman was good, but I felt like I was on a boat watching a movie a few times.

Nice!
 
ChaseBecraft said:
This was the best short I've ever seen, period.

My only critique would be the sound at some points, the levels of the characters can be kind of low. Also, would have done some more closeup shots of the character's faces to show their anguish instead of those wide shots.

This is truthfully the best short I've ever seen, fully engaged the entire film throughout.
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Praise indeed! Thanks. Gave me a nice start to the day...:laugh:

I should be able to improve the sound and I've got lots of coverage, so I'll have a look at getting a few closer shots in.

richke said:
Really enjoyed it. I could have done with out so much movement with the camera but it doesn't really hurt it overall I guess. Notcied some shadows seemed to be coming from weird directions which again is not a show stopper.

I loved the conversation on the phone at the beginning through the sniper scope.

Subscribed!!!(rtkiiiprod) I would love to see more films from you. I alos sent to a couple friends who might enjoy this.
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Cheers. I've subscribed back. If/when you've got anything you'd like me to pimp over facebook or whatever, give me a shout.

Snazzy Flapper said:
Not shabby. From the beginning hook I had to see where you took the story.

The gunman went from a frantic confused state to an almost instantly calm state in the chair. He then looked like he was enjoying himself just a minute or two later, then crying with his wife. I felt the changes were all way too fast and unnatural.

Were you going for a flat lighting/detail look? And the times the camera rolled on the axis kind of annoyed me. The dutch angle on the gunman was good, but I felt like I was on a boat watching a movie a few times.

Nice!
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Interesting points. In terms of the look...I was going for a dark/grungy sort of look but obviously not flat as such...which basically sounds like a euphemism for **** in film speak! Still got a lot to learn when it comes to visuals and such.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback guys, it's much appreciated...good and bad.

Rick.
 
One of my buddies checked it out...he stars in my films but doesnt look at all the things I do...more of a general review. It's easy for one(Abe) to add different parts when the film is already finished. :)

ABE - it was ok I thought. It was a bit to straight forward in my opinion and I would have liked to see it switch between the two, thinking that he was still in Iraq and she was cheating but at the end you realize he is sniping her cheating ass. Maybe a flash of them together or an voiced over phone conversation
 
Cheers richke,

I appreciate you spreading it around. ABE's views were interesting. It would have been a very different film, just about the old war hallucination, rather than about a guys struggle for his humanity. Interesting how people see things though.
 
Very well done. I really enjoyed the cinematography. HOw did you do the shot dollying through the fence at the very beginning?

Lighting on the inside scenes seemed a little flat, but honestly it was hard to notice with all the great lines and insane tension building up.

I think the lover part was a little on the weaker side, but the main actor was superb.

Great writing, cant wait to see more from you.

I really enjoyed this film, in fact I enjoyed it so much I decided to make it the Short Film of the Week over at the blog i run, its the Diary of a No Name Film maker

You can check out your film featured as well as all the past winners here. By winning this you join the ranks of some very talented film makers from indie legends to the man Martin Scorcese himself.

http://jone5films.wordpress.com/

I always encourage winners to post a comment talking about what it was like making the film, how you did it, what you experienced etc...

If you have a poster or image id be happy to post it up as well.

Congratulations.

jon
 
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I loved it man.
Entertaining through-out and some good shots were captured.
I hardly noticed the flat lightning because of how engaging the story was.
Id be proud of this work if I were you!
Keep filming!!
 
The acting made this great. The opening camera moves were pretty sweet but technically the audio and lighting had some issues.
That and the wind blowing/whistling made it sound like they were in a barn or something. I would have preferred a harsh ticking clock over that.

Aside from those nitpicks, and they are just that. I thought the story and acting is what really made this shine. Great performance all around.

Shows what you can do with one simple location and some good actors.

Nice work.

MAH
 
jonE5 said:
Very well done. I really enjoyed the cinematography. HOw did you do the shot dollying through the fence at the very beginning?

Lighting on the inside scenes seemed a little flat, but honestly it was hard to notice with all the great lines and insane tension building up.

I think the lover part was a little on the weaker side, but the main actor was superb.

Great writing, cant wait to see more from you.

I really enjoyed this film, in fact I enjoyed it so much I decided to make it the Short Film of the Week over at the blog i run, its the Diary of a No Name Film maker

You can check out your film featured as well as all the past winners here. By winning this you join the ranks of some very talented film makers from indie legends to the man Martin Scorcese himself.

http://jone5films.wordpress.com/

I always encourage winners to post a comment talking about what it was like making the film, how you did it, what you experienced etc...

If you have a poster or image id be happy to post it up as well.

Congratulations.

jon
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I thought this thread had died. Cheers for bringing it back to life, and thank you for the kind words as well.

I'm happy to leave comments or answer any questions for your blog. It looks interesting and I'm glad you thought enough of the film to want to make it your film of the week.

The Dolly shot at the start was done using a crane. We built a base for it and put it on a track. So it is in the same position as was used for the overhead shot that sweeps into the close up of the sniper, the arm was just extended horizontally over the fence and was then dollied back across.

Rick.
 
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Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
The acting made this great. The opening camera moves were pretty sweet but technically the audio and lighting had some issues.
That and the wind blowing/whistling made it sound like they were in a barn or something. I would have preferred a harsh ticking clock over that.

Aside from those nitpicks, and they are just that. I thought the story and acting is what really made this shine. Great performance all around.

Shows what you can do with one simple location and some good actors.

Nice work.

MAH
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Cheers MikeShea.

Story is definitely my strong point. The technical side of things is my clear weakness and something I'm going to try and correct in my next lot of films.

Mr Horrigan,

You're definitely right about the wind. I'm going to tone it down considerably. You're not the first person to mention it. Thankfully it's just a track, it's not part of the audio recording, so I can cut it out/reduce it no problem. I put it in because the world sounded a little dead and I couldn't think of anything else that could be there. I did consider a clock but thought it would start to grate a lot over time. I'll have another look at it.

Rick.
 
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