Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short WON!!!
- Thread starter Elvis
- Start date
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Awesome piece of work Elvis and Blacky. I know what its like to cram a 10 min short in a day shoot. And only 2 weeks to produce...great job. I'm sure there was no time to gather any more CU's or inserts so I'll leave out how much I would have liked more of those. I'll also cut you some slack on the script since it was probably just written in a week if not on the fly.
The acting by Mr Toma was top notch and probably my favorite part of the short. The expressions in his face, the inflections in his dialogue. He was the kind of actor that could make a static shot feel dynamic. Really impressed with his work especially given the circumstances of the shoot.
The acting by Mr Chambers was great as well, loved the voice and the look. There was something a little off. Maybe it was range of emotion...can't really put my finger on it. Seemed a little monotone. Maybe this was intentional due to the character being played. Overall great job!!
I know this is a personal opinion because I get into this argument a lot but I think the whole thing should have been half as long. I did enjoy the payoff a lot and the look on Mr Chambers face as he is discovered was perfect...added a lot too the scene. I think an audience today doesn't take very long to get a point. When the dialogue began between the Agent and the Iraqi (?) about God and Country I got it right away. I thought "oh...this is one of those arguments. It could have escalated to the punch much quicker. Like I said just my personal opinion because it leaves me as a viewer saying "I get it...move on to whats going to happen".
The cinematography and lighting was great overall. You didn't have time to get more dramatic with the lighting set ups so you are forgiven there. A couple shots I noticed had far much headroom for my taste but they were all shots that Mr Chambers was in so I don't know who was shooting. Aside from that the composition of the shots and the overall look of the video was awesome. Didn't see anything that pulled me out of the story or distracted me.
The directing on this was great as well. The only thing I disliked was the reveal of the agent in the shack. Since we already saw him outside it was ineffective. I love reveals in general so I thought the way to avoid this would have been the shot selection for the establishing scene outside. A series of CU's and ECU's building up to the reveal would have worked. CU of the Jeeps tire as it came to a stop, Agents feet as he got out, phone as he took the call, mouth only as he spoke, etc. Then the reveal. All this may have taken more time then was alotted for the scene so I think in editing I would have nixed the reveal. Everything else flowed really smooth.
The editing was loose in some places but ok overall. I felt like the pace could have been stepped up a notch especially due to the content. Something as subtle as removing 3-5 frames between certain cuts during the dialogue could have helped. Other shots like when the agent sat down held too long. And again I would have found a whole chunk of dialogue and shots to cut in order to get it down to 5-7 minutes.
Audio was excellent and WAY above par for this kind of short. John mentioned the sound of the gun shot but I would chalk that up to the compression of the online version. I'd bet it really rings watching it for real. The only thing that I might have done different would be to save the background audio (gunfire and fighting) for when he is about to be captured...right before he gets the call that the enemy is coming. Then from that point I would have gradually increased the volume until the end until it sounded like the gunfire and fighting was right outside the shack.
Script aside I thought this was an EXCELLENT short film. The script and dialogue for the most part were the weakest elements of the short. Not for any political or religious reasons, just seemed dry. The story concept was great, just weak writing in a lot of parts. But, since I am in no way shape or form a writer I can't really say. Again, you probably didn't have any time to work on the script so thats probably part of it.
Definitely looking forward to seeing more work from you guys!
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Awesome piece of work Elvis and Blacky. I know what its like to cram a 10 min short in a day shoot. And only 2 weeks to produce...great job. I'm sure there was no time to gather any more CU's or inserts so I'll leave out how much I would have liked more of those. I'll also cut you some slack on the script since it was probably just written in a week if not on the fly.
The acting by Mr Toma was top notch and probably my favorite part of the short. The expressions in his face, the inflections in his dialogue. He was the kind of actor that could make a static shot feel dynamic. Really impressed with his work especially given the circumstances of the shoot.
The acting by Mr Chambers was great as well, loved the voice and the look. There was something a little off. Maybe it was range of emotion...can't really put my finger on it. Seemed a little monotone. Maybe this was intentional due to the character being played. Overall great job!!
I know this is a personal opinion because I get into this argument a lot but I think the whole thing should have been half as long. I did enjoy the payoff a lot and the look on Mr Chambers face as he is discovered was perfect...added a lot too the scene. I think an audience today doesn't take very long to get a point. When the dialogue began between the Agent and the Iraqi (?) about God and Country I got it right away. I thought "oh...this is one of those arguments. It could have escalated to the punch much quicker. Like I said just my personal opinion because it leaves me as a viewer saying "I get it...move on to whats going to happen".
The cinematography and lighting was great overall. You didn't have time to get more dramatic with the lighting set ups so you are forgiven there. A couple shots I noticed had far much headroom for my taste but they were all shots that Mr Chambers was in so I don't know who was shooting. Aside from that the composition of the shots and the overall look of the video was awesome. Didn't see anything that pulled me out of the story or distracted me.
The directing on this was great as well. The only thing I disliked was the reveal of the agent in the shack. Since we already saw him outside it was ineffective. I love reveals in general so I thought the way to avoid this would have been the shot selection for the establishing scene outside. A series of CU's and ECU's building up to the reveal would have worked. CU of the Jeeps tire as it came to a stop, Agents feet as he got out, phone as he took the call, mouth only as he spoke, etc. Then the reveal. All this may have taken more time then was alotted for the scene so I think in editing I would have nixed the reveal. Everything else flowed really smooth.
The editing was loose in some places but ok overall. I felt like the pace could have been stepped up a notch especially due to the content. Something as subtle as removing 3-5 frames between certain cuts during the dialogue could have helped. Other shots like when the agent sat down held too long. And again I would have found a whole chunk of dialogue and shots to cut in order to get it down to 5-7 minutes.
Audio was excellent and WAY above par for this kind of short. John mentioned the sound of the gun shot but I would chalk that up to the compression of the online version. I'd bet it really rings watching it for real. The only thing that I might have done different would be to save the background audio (gunfire and fighting) for when he is about to be captured...right before he gets the call that the enemy is coming. Then from that point I would have gradually increased the volume until the end until it sounded like the gunfire and fighting was right outside the shack.
Script aside I thought this was an EXCELLENT short film. The script and dialogue for the most part were the weakest elements of the short. Not for any political or religious reasons, just seemed dry. The story concept was great, just weak writing in a lot of parts. But, since I am in no way shape or form a writer I can't really say. Again, you probably didn't have any time to work on the script so thats probably part of it.
Definitely looking forward to seeing more work from you guys!
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hey,
I just wanna say I think its great what you did cause its really hard to follow throught with making a film or short film, but I want to give my honest opinion and I dont wanna just say, yeah GREAT job... so dont take anything personaly Im just offering my critique.
Well I thought that the arab did an amazing job acting, altought the CIA agent seemed WAY too aggressive in his speach and not his actions... seemed like he had a strait face with no emotion but he kept getting over worked about things like..... "Dont you bring my God into this"... it just kinda came off kinda cheesy,
I think that more close up shots and a shakeyier camera look would have gave it alot of realism and made it even more dramatic, along with more color correction I think it would have been even better.
I think the camera was too still and there wasnt enough camera motion , also i think a better Dept of field on your actors would have given more of a cinematic look...
Also I think the "apporpriate words" in an unapropriate situation did not fit... for example "cut the crap you piece of dirt".... I think a more appropriate line for the situation would have been something like *pardon my language* " alright **** head " .. or "stop ****in around, I want some answers now **** head" ... something more vulgur to display the actors intense hate for this character....
The way the camera was positioned made it seem like a interview, just didnt have alot of cinematic impact on me.. didnt bring much drama,,, the CIA agent was getting real worked up with his sentences but he was still sitting down nice and clam...
Ok , great peice man, I dont mean to criticize cause I cant even save up enought to buy myself the camrea, so I think its amazing that you are abled to create a film and enter it in a contest and better yet win tons of awards heh....
So I think that fact alone makes this a great peice man...
Good job...
Also
"A series of CU's and ECU's building up to the reveal would have worked. CU of the Jeeps tire as it came to a stop, Agents feet as he got out, phone as he took the call, mouth only as he spoke, etc. " - ExFilms-
I would have done the same thing, I think that is more effecitve and brings more cinematic drama to a peice....
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hey,
I just wanna say I think its great what you did cause its really hard to follow throught with making a film or short film, but I want to give my honest opinion and I dont wanna just say, yeah GREAT job... so dont take anything personaly Im just offering my critique.
Well I thought that the arab did an amazing job acting, altought the CIA agent seemed WAY too aggressive in his speach and not his actions... seemed like he had a strait face with no emotion but he kept getting over worked about things like..... "Dont you bring my God into this"... it just kinda came off kinda cheesy,
I think that more close up shots and a shakeyier camera look would have gave it alot of realism and made it even more dramatic, along with more color correction I think it would have been even better.
I think the camera was too still and there wasnt enough camera motion , also i think a better Dept of field on your actors would have given more of a cinematic look...
Also I think the "apporpriate words" in an unapropriate situation did not fit... for example "cut the crap you piece of dirt".... I think a more appropriate line for the situation would have been something like *pardon my language* " alright **** head " .. or "stop ****in around, I want some answers now **** head" ... something more vulgur to display the actors intense hate for this character....
The way the camera was positioned made it seem like a interview, just didnt have alot of cinematic impact on me.. didnt bring much drama,,, the CIA agent was getting real worked up with his sentences but he was still sitting down nice and clam...
Ok , great peice man, I dont mean to criticize cause I cant even save up enought to buy myself the camrea, so I think its amazing that you are abled to create a film and enter it in a contest and better yet win tons of awards heh....
So I think that fact alone makes this a great peice man...
Good job...
Also
"A series of CU's and ECU's building up to the reveal would have worked. CU of the Jeeps tire as it came to a stop, Agents feet as he got out, phone as he took the call, mouth only as he spoke, etc. " - ExFilms-
I would have done the same thing, I think that is more effecitve and brings more cinematic drama to a peice....
J.R. Hudson
Spirit Animal
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Dont sweat the honest critiques; that is kind of what we are after. This way we can learn what works and what does not.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Dont sweat the honest critiques; that is kind of what we are after. This way we can learn what works and what does not.
Rich Lee
I shoot Pirates.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
hey man, just saw the film. the content is fitting for our time. the ending is frightening.
You know, this film has alot of potential. the editing could use some work. would have been great to overlap the dialog with other shots, like when the cia guy is speaking, cut to a reaction shot of the arab guy with the cia guys voice over it. right now its, cia guy talking, then arab guy, then cia guy, too repetative i think. i feel the the cuts are too long right now as well, right after someone speaks we hold for too long before we cut. it could be much snappier. also, the sound effects of the guns in the bg seem out of place. if its supposed to be a remote location, why is there gun fire? maybe the gun sounds could ramp up as the other arabs get closer? mabe you could loose the setup in the beginning? i dunno, just thinking...i dont care for the dialog that the cia guy has on the phone, seems kinda cheese. you could go from wide shot outside showing the shed, to the tilt up revealing the cia guy...
i feel like overall the color correction could be more warmish over all and more contrasty and gritty.
different titles in the beginning as well. again, a bit cheese.
i think all the elements are here for a great short! just needs some lovin.
on a slightly different note, i dont know what possesed me to do it, but i watched the beheading video online just now, ****, i need to burn that image out of my head, so ****ing disturbing/enraging!
good job man, i dont know if u will or not, but it would be worth revisiting this thing to make it really shine.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
hey man, just saw the film. the content is fitting for our time. the ending is frightening.
You know, this film has alot of potential. the editing could use some work. would have been great to overlap the dialog with other shots, like when the cia guy is speaking, cut to a reaction shot of the arab guy with the cia guys voice over it. right now its, cia guy talking, then arab guy, then cia guy, too repetative i think. i feel the the cuts are too long right now as well, right after someone speaks we hold for too long before we cut. it could be much snappier. also, the sound effects of the guns in the bg seem out of place. if its supposed to be a remote location, why is there gun fire? maybe the gun sounds could ramp up as the other arabs get closer? mabe you could loose the setup in the beginning? i dunno, just thinking...i dont care for the dialog that the cia guy has on the phone, seems kinda cheese. you could go from wide shot outside showing the shed, to the tilt up revealing the cia guy...
i feel like overall the color correction could be more warmish over all and more contrasty and gritty.
different titles in the beginning as well. again, a bit cheese.
i think all the elements are here for a great short! just needs some lovin.
on a slightly different note, i dont know what possesed me to do it, but i watched the beheading video online just now, ****, i need to burn that image out of my head, so ****ing disturbing/enraging!
good job man, i dont know if u will or not, but it would be worth revisiting this thing to make it really shine.
Has it been moved? I would love to see it! thanks, mark.
J.R. Hudson
Spirit Animal
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hey Coltrain
I accidently deleted your post (moving some non DVX footage to the Cafe). Post again fool!
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hey Coltrain
I accidently deleted your post (moving some non DVX footage to the Cafe). Post again fool!
D.O.C.
Carbonite Member
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
[quote author=John Hudson link=board=Clips;num=1087610965;start=45#49 date=06/20/04 at 20:24:38]Hey Coltrain
I accidently deleted your post (moving some non DVX footage to the Cafe). Post again fool![/quote]
That was the longest, most legit post I have ever had on here and now its gone...
FANTASTIC!
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
[quote author=John Hudson link=board=Clips;num=1087610965;start=45#49 date=06/20/04 at 20:24:38]Hey Coltrain
I accidently deleted your post (moving some non DVX footage to the Cafe). Post again fool!
[/quote]That was the longest, most legit post I have ever had on here and now its gone...
FANTASTIC!
J.R. Hudson
Spirit Animal
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
:-/
Sorry.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
:-/
Sorry.
Z
Zoomforce
Guest
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
yeah sorry Coltrain John let me know he pooped a few posts, it wasnt anything to do with the content with your post or because we think your evil
To sum up the post, you didnt like the acting or the lighting if I remember correctly.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
yeah sorry Coltrain John let me know he pooped a few posts, it wasnt anything to do with the content with your post or because we think your evil
To sum up the post, you didnt like the acting or the lighting if I remember correctly.
Ranger
Well-known member
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hmmm …
To start off, my opinion of “In the name of God” will be biased. As a Regular Army soldier and veteran of the Iraq War, my review will not be very favorable. However, this is not meant to be a slam, but hopefully offer some constructive feedback based on my experiences.
Okay, got that out the way. Now for something positive …
Overall, the cinematography was very good. I don’t have a DVX, so I can’t get technical, but it seemed very professional in appearance. The actor playing the Iraqi insurgent was did a great job. There were a few cheesy lines here and there, but the strength of his dialog came from his performance.
Now for the not so good (as I see it).
Lose the constant gunfire in the distance. It sounded like a video game. Unless this is a movie about the Battle of Stalingrad, the occasional gunfire once or twice would have been more than enough to convey the look and feel of an actual combat zone.
The American CIA interrogator acting and dialog seemed forced and a bit weak. Almost from the beginning, I knew where the theme of this movie short was going. Not to say that the whole premise of the movie was without merit, only that the scenario as it played out seemed very implausible to me. The CIA operative was clearly on the defensive the moment he opened his mouth. His emotion got the best of him. The Iraqi captive ran circles around the man. What I saw portrayed was the typical Hollywood “Michael Moore” stereotype of the “Ugly American” spouting off his “Love it or Leave it” or “We’re here to save Iraq from the Iraqi’s” speech. Hardly an effective technique to get information from a suspected insurgent. Clearly, that CIA agent needs some Interrogation 101 refresher training.
Bottomline: Lose the gunfire and tone down the CIA acting and dialog. Other than that, a very good piece of work.
Cheers
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Hmmm …
To start off, my opinion of “In the name of God” will be biased. As a Regular Army soldier and veteran of the Iraq War, my review will not be very favorable. However, this is not meant to be a slam, but hopefully offer some constructive feedback based on my experiences.
Okay, got that out the way. Now for something positive …
Overall, the cinematography was very good. I don’t have a DVX, so I can’t get technical, but it seemed very professional in appearance. The actor playing the Iraqi insurgent was did a great job. There were a few cheesy lines here and there, but the strength of his dialog came from his performance.
Now for the not so good (as I see it).
Lose the constant gunfire in the distance. It sounded like a video game. Unless this is a movie about the Battle of Stalingrad, the occasional gunfire once or twice would have been more than enough to convey the look and feel of an actual combat zone.
The American CIA interrogator acting and dialog seemed forced and a bit weak. Almost from the beginning, I knew where the theme of this movie short was going. Not to say that the whole premise of the movie was without merit, only that the scenario as it played out seemed very implausible to me. The CIA operative was clearly on the defensive the moment he opened his mouth. His emotion got the best of him. The Iraqi captive ran circles around the man. What I saw portrayed was the typical Hollywood “Michael Moore” stereotype of the “Ugly American” spouting off his “Love it or Leave it” or “We’re here to save Iraq from the Iraqi’s” speech. Hardly an effective technique to get information from a suspected insurgent. Clearly, that CIA agent needs some Interrogation 101 refresher training.
Bottomline: Lose the gunfire and tone down the CIA acting and dialog. Other than that, a very good piece of work.
Cheers
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Yeah the gunfire did not turn out the way I invisioned it. The farm was located just outside of a major city. I should of started it a lot softer and worked it up to a big frenzy. But this was a theme festival with a time limit. Ran out of time. And remember I did it in 5 days! But thanks for the feedback. Also just so you know , it was a family film festival so I had to keep with a PG rating.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Yeah the gunfire did not turn out the way I invisioned it. The farm was located just outside of a major city. I should of started it a lot softer and worked it up to a big frenzy. But this was a theme festival with a time limit. Ran out of time. And remember I did it in 5 days! But thanks for the feedback. Also just so you know , it was a family film festival so I had to keep with a PG rating.
Ranger
Well-known member
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
[quote author=Elvis link=board=Clips;num=1087610965;start=45#57 date=06/21/04 at 19:21:34]Ranger, what would you have liked the C.I.A. guy to say that would have built up the U.S.A. side of the speeches?[/quote]
Wow, this is going to be hard to articulate.
After reflection, this is not so much an issue of dialog or changing a script, but one of presentation. If it were I, I would have balanced the discussion to show each point of view rationally and devoid of mild anti-US political undertones. Yes, I know that’s easier said than done. The task here is to empathize with both sides. The CIA agent was firmly in a position of control, yet he lost that control by wearing his emotions on his sleeve. His argument/responses to the captive were often shotgun blasts filled with anger rather than an intellectual tit-for-tat. The Iraqi insurgent spotted that weakness and used it against the agent. After viewing your film, I was left with the impression that the CIA actor was trying too hard at being an interrogator. Oftentimes a mild mannered, seemingly pleasant persona can be just as convincing or horrific than the current US stereotype of being some angry cowboy. Several film examples come to mind:
The Last Samurai: Ken Watanabe (Katsumoto)
The Marathon Man: Sir Laurence Olivier “Is it safe?”
Schindler’s List: Liam Neeson (Oskar Schindler)
Elizabeth: Geoffrey Rush (Sir Francis Walsingham)
Good Will Hunting: Robin Williams (Counselor)
Each one of the characters sited above brings a different style of persuasion to the screen, yet in their own way, each is effective and intelligently portrayed. In special ops, some of the most effective operators are often the most understated in manner and behavior. Imagine if you had place anyone of those above listed characters into the agent role. The results would have been fascinating. The challenge is conveying such a personality to your CIA agent in a few minutes. It can be done, because you did it with the Iraqi captive.
Hope this helps.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
[quote author=Elvis link=board=Clips;num=1087610965;start=45#57 date=06/21/04 at 19:21:34]Ranger, what would you have liked the C.I.A. guy to say that would have built up the U.S.A. side of the speeches?[/quote]
Wow, this is going to be hard to articulate.
After reflection, this is not so much an issue of dialog or changing a script, but one of presentation. If it were I, I would have balanced the discussion to show each point of view rationally and devoid of mild anti-US political undertones. Yes, I know that’s easier said than done. The task here is to empathize with both sides. The CIA agent was firmly in a position of control, yet he lost that control by wearing his emotions on his sleeve. His argument/responses to the captive were often shotgun blasts filled with anger rather than an intellectual tit-for-tat. The Iraqi insurgent spotted that weakness and used it against the agent. After viewing your film, I was left with the impression that the CIA actor was trying too hard at being an interrogator. Oftentimes a mild mannered, seemingly pleasant persona can be just as convincing or horrific than the current US stereotype of being some angry cowboy. Several film examples come to mind:
The Last Samurai: Ken Watanabe (Katsumoto)
The Marathon Man: Sir Laurence Olivier “Is it safe?”
Schindler’s List: Liam Neeson (Oskar Schindler)
Elizabeth: Geoffrey Rush (Sir Francis Walsingham)
Good Will Hunting: Robin Williams (Counselor)
Each one of the characters sited above brings a different style of persuasion to the screen, yet in their own way, each is effective and intelligently portrayed. In special ops, some of the most effective operators are often the most understated in manner and behavior. Imagine if you had place anyone of those above listed characters into the agent role. The results would have been fascinating. The challenge is conveying such a personality to your CIA agent in a few minutes. It can be done, because you did it with the Iraqi captive.
Hope this helps.
Ranger
Well-known member
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Oh, I nearly forgot. I would have also deleted the beheading scene at the end. Not solely because of recent events, but because it subtly conveys the message that we (meaning the Americans) ultimately deserve that final twist of fate for intruding into someone else’s culture. By keeping it in, you forfeit the theme of balanced exchange of ideas or ideologies and instead lean sympathetically toward the insurgents.
Re: Elvis' "In The Name Of God' 10 min. Short
Oh, I nearly forgot. I would have also deleted the beheading scene at the end. Not solely because of recent events, but because it subtly conveys the message that we (meaning the Americans) ultimately deserve that final twist of fate for intruding into someone else’s culture. By keeping it in, you forfeit the theme of balanced exchange of ideas or ideologies and instead lean sympathetically toward the insurgents.