Ecclesiastes

for the same couch thing I thought about shooting them on the same side and then flipping the image in post to make it seem like it was slightly different, but still obviously the same hotel so the rooms look very similar, but then I actually thought about making that shot more of a psychological shot using the exact same spot to further show that the two characters were connected and in a similar situation (something I expand upon alot more in the full cut of the film). Originally I was even going to have them sit on the same couch at the same time to further that point, but thought that might lose some people that didn't pick up on the surrealism of the shot, so I opted to do what I did. (for the longer cut I was thinking of using a split screen for that shot)

as for the face wash cut, i'll have to go back and watch that because that never occured to me. she definitely did know it was going to be cut like that because there wasn't actually a cut, just a trick shot where she ducks and the other actor pops up in her place

as far as the political nature of the film, that is actually the key to the movie in the longer cut. to keep with the spy theme and the 6min deadline i pretty much extracted the assassin's storyline out of the film and made it stand on its own. the full cut of the film is actually much more about the Robin Nole character and the political aspect of the film. I'd say this cut of the film is a condensed version of the middle of the film, there is quite a bit more before, during, and after what is shown in this 6 minutes.
 
I loved this. The story was complete, the natural lighting is great, the locations were great, the acting was great. Good job on this.
 
Oh man. I just watched this for a second time, and on my TV this time around. Wow. Beautiful. Great color and contrast. Very filmic. I'd swear this was 16mm. Nice pacing. Good script. It's not full of talking, yet so full of story. Nice work, Chris.
 
I was really involved in your movie. Clearly one of my favourites. One thing i didnt like were the jump cuts i think they could have been done a bit better, but then i don't really like jumpcuts... Other than that i thought it was really good, great cinematography, sound, and the ending really got me.
 
I love that big chunks were done in a foreign language, it gave it a realy aura of authenticity. The acting was grounded and good. The actress playing the senator acted well, but was cast poorly, I just did not believe it as she was way too young for the role she was playing.

Lastly, the ending was...well the hero suddenly getting shot in the back and then the credits roll felt very, very Deus Ex Machina to me.
 
Very well shot, very natural. This may be my fave so far.

Only thing I didn't like was, as shawn said, the senator actor was too young.
 
I agree, I was afraid that she might be too young looking, but this was really my first project where I branched out and worked with alot of actors that I have never met, and she was one of my anchors so to speak. I've been good friends with her for a while and she's done alot of theater as well as starred in my first short film (this is only my second short film). So when I wrote this script (which was very ambitious for me) I had no clue how I was going to fill the cast and felt that if I was even going to have a chance at getting this film made I'd need to cast some friends that I knew and could 100% completely rely on to be committed to this project. With that in mind I really tried to work that into the script by dropping some hints (ie. the newscast introduces her as someone new and young that is kind of coming onto the scene and shaking things up with this "new technology") and I also cast her husband to be slightly older than her, but very believable to help her seem a few years older than she is. Also, it didn't make this cut of the film, but she carries a family photo with her in which she has a young child. All that being said I think she did a great job.

*sidenote: I've come a long way since my last short film where I cast her and my best friend who was 21 at the time to play a couple that had been married for a very long time and whose relationship had deteriorated, haha. Realistically they should have been 30 years older for those roles, but that's one thing I learned and I'm really glad I branched out and got alot more "grownups" to be in Ecclesiastes and I think that really helped sell the film (the full cut of the film features the "grownups" a lot more than this cut)

thanks for all the comments guys, keep 'em coming!
 
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oh, and I don't know what Deus Ex Machina means, but I'll assume it's another movie that did a similar thing? with the time limit and this being a fragment of a longer film I felt that the ending was almost necessary and I personally just really liked the abruptness
 
Hey Chris_f, Really liked Ecclesiastes. Great pacing.

The good: The photography in the opening scene is fantastic. Really moody and nicely understated. The Asian actors do a great job. The story is well constructed, but how does the title fit in? Locations are great.

The questionable: The news reporter and senator lady (is she a senator?) are a little uneven as actors and the target (senator?) kinda pulls me out of the movie because she's so young and doesn't really look like a person in power. Also, the news reporting can be an efficient way to get exposition across, but it was overused here. And the photography for the news footage was great, so don't cheapen it with the video lines effect. Those things are always cheese.

The other stuff: The quick ending is great, but who shoots the guy? The lady's companion? The bullet seems to come from a different direction.

By the way, deus ex machina means "god in the machine" and refers to greek plays where a god would literally come down in a basket and fix all the problems that happened in the play. It's considered a cheat in writing. Did someone say that about Ecclesiastes? I don't see it here at all. If a security guard or the companion shoots the assassin, that's story. If a tree limb falls on the assassin or he gets struck by lightning, that's deus ex machina.

Nice job!

Co.
 
500Cuts said:
The other stuff: The quick ending is great, but who shoots the guy? The lady's companion? The bullet seems to come from a different direction.
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I believe the newscast that his wife/gf watches at the end explains that the cops showed up quickly and took him out.

Just going by memory so don't quote me... :)

Mike
 
The story is well constructed, but how does the title fit in?
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I'm surprised no one had brought that up yet. The title doesn't actually get tied in on this cut, ha. In the longer cut of the film there is a big tie in at the end which relates the story to the title. In short, one of the themes in the book Ecclesiastes is that the world never changes, always repeating itself, which I tie in to the film, but I don't want to elaborate further cause it will give away too much of the full cut

The questionable: The news reporter and senator lady (is she a senator?) are a little uneven as actors
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I addressed the Robin Nole character in an earlier post, as for the news reporter she actually did a terrific job I think. She used to be a news reporter and had all the beats and tones and look of someone I'd see today if I flipped on the TV. I felt bad for her however because the particular take I used in her opening newscast wasn't her best one. In the longer version the newscast contains alot of b-roll footage that will be placed over her audio which will allow me to edit the audio from her best takes together, but I haven't finished shooting all the b-roll so unfortunately we're stuck with her on screen for a prolonged period of time and we get to see and hear her untimely stop to catch her breath.

but who shoots the guy?
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it is noted in the final newscast, but the secret service guy that we see briefly in the clip of her getting into her car is actually the guy that shoots him down, again another thing I couldn't include in this cut of the film because of the time limit. There's probably another 2 minutes to the film after that shot which explains what happens (and we actually see the secret service guy in action)

oh and for the deus ex machina thing, now that you explained it I remember reading about that in Aristotle's poetics I believe. I definitely kept that in mind when writing this film and made sure the ending was motivated and plausible (you just don't get to see that part in this cut :( )

thanks for all the feedback, i really appreciate it because it gives me an opportunity to look at things closer and consider changes for the longer cut of the film. keep it coming!
 
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Chris,

Great job. I really liked your film. It was very moody. I loved your shallow depth of field and your muted tones. The music was sparce and sad, I thought it fit very well.

Congrats!
 
This was one of my favorites in SpyFest. This probably isn't a good thing for you. My favorites usually don't get anywhere near the top. :grin:

I like how you created a politcal atmosphere. It wasn't strictly about characters. I get the feeling from a lot of amateur films that I'm like a horse with blinders on not being evoked to think of anything bigger than the principle characters own little selfish world. It gets boring real quick. In Ecclesiastes it felt like something bigger was going on. It was an intense feeling. All of the character motivations were very well tied into a main core. I liked the acting.
 
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I liked this film. It really told a story that people can relate too, decisions! I liked the filming of the candidate. I really thought the interaction between the couple felt so real! The hit shots both seemed authentic without going overboard. Liked the TV shots. I thought the end where the bowl got dropped worked well to convey the woman's feelings!

I didn't care too much for the section where you cut to the same actor multiple times, although I liked the smooth transitions between actor/actress (she leans forward, he stands up, etc.). I also didn't care too much for the yellow lighting in the room once or twice.

Overall, really nicely done. My first download was corrupt. Glad I re-tried. This one impressed me!
 
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glad you guys picked up on some of the backstory/atmosphere of the film, I wasn't sure how evident it would be in this shorter cut of the film.

I didn't care too much for the section where you cut to the same actor multiple times
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I did that to help create a sense of uneasiness and that time is passing. I really wanted to heighten the anxiety of both characters as they prepare for the biggest day of their lives.

I also didn't care too much for the yellow lighting in the room once or twice.
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Although it may not have been the prettiest to look at, I really felt that it helped create the mood of the scene. I also think that the warmness of the color temp helped contrast the previous scene as the film transitions from the professional/political side to the personal/human side of the story.

Overall, really nicely done. My first download was corrupt. Glad I re-tried. This one impressed me!
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Glad you stuck with it. Thanks for the feedback!
 
Chris, I thought I read somewhere once that this was your first short film? If so, HOLY MOLY!! Some GREAT lighting, sound design, acting, etc. throughout. The weakest performance I felt was the person playing the character of Robin Knoll. Just didn't believe it for some reason. Also, nice transition from where she goes down to rinse her face & he comes up rinsing his. I felt that the bedroom scene where the husband gets out of bed was a slow spot, or stood out as uninteresting as compared to the rest of the film.

Didn't get what the Biblical name (title) had to do with the film or it's content. Can you explain? Regardless, a very solid entry!
 
Thanks for the feedback Norm. This is actually my 2nd short film that I've ever made and I'm happy with how much it improved over my first one (but of course there's still a ton to improve on). Here's a reply from an earlier post regarding the title:

chris f said:
I'm surprised no one had brought that up yet. The title doesn't actually get tied in on this cut, ha. In the longer cut of the film there is a big tie in at the end which relates the story to the title. In short, one of the themes in the book Ecclesiastes is that the world never changes, always repeating itself, which I tie in to the film, but I don't want to elaborate further cause it will give away too much of the full cut
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Loved the cold open. It was an effective way to just throw people into the movie. The lighting throughout was pretty well done, and the acting served the story well. The locations you got for the film were great, I was impressed. It wasn't just another "Here's my apartment with a few spy things thrown around it" kind of set. There was an excelent transition at 2:25 that was nice and smooth.

As with many of the SpyFest entries, the DoF was a little too pronounced at points. The trick to using a 35mm adapter is also knowing when not to use it, and I can think of several shots in this movie that would have benefited from a simpler presentation. The sound mix was a bit rough at times, but that's an aspect I've come to accept in internet movies. One specific little thing I thought was really cliche' was the bowl dropping on the ground. It's been done so many times in so many different ways. There must be a better way to convey that character's feeling/emotions about what happened.

Overall, I really liked your story. I don't know if a longer cut would be better, but I'm sure it would clarify things a little more. Thanks for submitting this to the fest!
 
I watched this again and I still love the look of this and the story is complete which is what I'm looking for since so many movies are technically well done.
 
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