would love your thoughts on the first spec here:
http://www.sombreropictures.com/projects.html
thanks!
http://www.sombreropictures.com/projects.html
thanks!
DVX spec commercial
- Thread starter crash41
- Start date
Kirk Gillock
Rebel with a cause
Re: DVX spec commercial
I liked it. The opening shots of the windows were very nice and I liked the ending stuff too. The echo effect didn't bother me. As far as the bulk of it, visually it could have been framed better. Maybe add some jump cuts too spice it up some. It really dragged a lot. It needs a cut away (dog sleeping, clothes on the floor, anything.) As far as the overall concept, I felt the joke was too obvious and is over-used or cliche. "Of course they're not really talking about what you think they are. There must be a twist." Wouldn't it be nice if the twist was "there is no twist." They really are talking about premature ______ .
Finally, the Playstation market contains children, teenagers, and young adults, so I'm not sure a sex joke hits your target audience. I know it's just a spec spot, but a commercial like that wouldn't air late at night or on cable because Sony would never risk it. Maybe for a beer commercial or a car commercial, ok (that's purely an adult audience). But a game console, I'm not sure. I realize it's just a spec spot, but those are just some things you might want to consider. When making a spec spot it's a good idea to make a commercial that could very well be used. I could be completely wrong.
It sounds like I didn't like the spot, but actually I did. You've got talent! But DVXuser is known for it's brutal honesty, to help make talented people (like yourself) even better. If your stuff was awful you would have just gotten a quick response like "It was fine. Good luck!" So I hope you take this as constructive criticism. Of course, in the end, it's your opinon that matters most.
Hope to see some more stuff from you. Welcome to DVXuser. The best forum on the Internet for DVX filmmakers like yourself!
P.K.
I liked it. The opening shots of the windows were very nice and I liked the ending stuff too. The echo effect didn't bother me. As far as the bulk of it, visually it could have been framed better. Maybe add some jump cuts too spice it up some. It really dragged a lot. It needs a cut away (dog sleeping, clothes on the floor, anything.) As far as the overall concept, I felt the joke was too obvious and is over-used or cliche. "Of course they're not really talking about what you think they are. There must be a twist." Wouldn't it be nice if the twist was "there is no twist." They really are talking about premature ______ .
Finally, the Playstation market contains children, teenagers, and young adults, so I'm not sure a sex joke hits your target audience. I know it's just a spec spot, but a commercial like that wouldn't air late at night or on cable because Sony would never risk it. Maybe for a beer commercial or a car commercial, ok (that's purely an adult audience). But a game console, I'm not sure. I realize it's just a spec spot, but those are just some things you might want to consider. When making a spec spot it's a good idea to make a commercial that could very well be used. I could be completely wrong.
It sounds like I didn't like the spot, but actually I did. You've got talent! But DVXuser is known for it's brutal honesty, to help make talented people (like yourself) even better. If your stuff was awful you would have just gotten a quick response like "It was fine. Good luck!" So I hope you take this as constructive criticism. Of course, in the end, it's your opinon that matters most.
Hope to see some more stuff from you. Welcome to DVXuser. The best forum on the Internet for DVX filmmakers like yourself!
P.K.
scharky
Veteran
Re: DVX spec commercial
[quote author=P.K. Gillock link=board=Clips;num=1105903067;start=0#2 date=01/16/05 at 12:26:59] Wouldn't it be nice if the twist was "there is no twist." They really are talking about premature ______ .
[/quote]
See, there's your twist . I just figured the guy couldn't get it up.
[quote author=P.K. Gillock link=board=Clips;num=1105903067;start=0#2 date=01/16/05 at 12:26:59] Wouldn't it be nice if the twist was "there is no twist." They really are talking about premature ______ .
[/quote]
See, there's your twist . I just figured the guy couldn't get it up.
Kirk Gillock
Rebel with a cause
Re: DVX spec commercial
Scharky - Naaa They're too young for that problem. That usually doesn't happen until you're 33 and very tired from working all day. Ughhhhh I mean, hey... it's getting late here. Time for sleep. bye!
Scharky - Naaa They're too young for that problem. That usually doesn't happen until you're 33 and very tired from working all day. Ughhhhh I mean, hey... it's getting late here. Time for sleep. bye!
lincolnlog
Well-known member
Re: DVX spec commercial
very funny, insted of split screen I would have liked to see them sitting close to each other in a tight 2 shot. and I also did not like the echo effect. cool concept. keep it up
very funny, insted of split screen I would have liked to see them sitting close to each other in a tight 2 shot. and I also did not like the echo effect. cool concept. keep it up
drummerboy678
Well-known member
Re: DVX spec commercial
Haha, I definetely liked your idea. Just wasn't crazy about the echo, and the split screen... What was the point of the spit screen?
It's so ahrd to frame people with that, and it seems unneccessary when they are sitting right next to eachother.
Great idea though, loved the story.
Haha, I definetely liked your idea. Just wasn't crazy about the echo, and the split screen... What was the point of the spit screen?
It's so ahrd to frame people with that, and it seems unneccessary when they are sitting right next to eachother.
Great idea though, loved the story.
Virtual133
New member
Re: DVX spec commercial
I liked it.
Cons: As someone else mentioned, it did drag on a little bit. And the echo was sort of odd. I also didn't understand the split screen.
Pros: The concept was great. Very funny. Video looks great too.
I liked it.
Cons: As someone else mentioned, it did drag on a little bit. And the echo was sort of odd. I also didn't understand the split screen.
Pros: The concept was great. Very funny. Video looks great too.
Voytek_Stitko
Well-known member
Re: DVX spec commercial
good job - echo was ok - the impresion of a dream like state of the couple - split screen as an idea of what? theyre separated cos in the game word? hm...i like it thou dunno why
music adds a lot good stuff
good job - echo was ok - the impresion of a dream like state of the couple - split screen as an idea of what? theyre separated cos in the game word? hm...i like it thou dunno why
music adds a lot good stuff
JasonFox
Internet Sensation
Re: DVX spec commercial
My only advice: cut it as a :30. The conceit is not new, but your presentation of it is. So the tighter the execution the better. :60 is just too long to let people sit there and think, "I've seen this before." Really like the split screen, btw.
Fox
My only advice: cut it as a :30. The conceit is not new, but your presentation of it is. So the tighter the execution the better. :60 is just too long to let people sit there and think, "I've seen this before." Really like the split screen, btw.
Fox
Re: DVX spec commercial
Like the concept and I too think you need to cut it down. You could speed things up by using jump cuts to trim it down: It would speed up the banter of the two, the pace of the piece, and keep it a little fresh.
Like the concept and I too think you need to cut it down. You could speed things up by using jump cuts to trim it down: It would speed up the banter of the two, the pace of the piece, and keep it a little fresh.