CP: The Statue - Update

E

EmperorHai

Active member
Alright, I'm not sure I should post this if only because the quality is no where near that of the other films and such posted here at DVX user.  But I decided... 'what the hell'.

This is a very short film designed to show a number of different camera angles.  We are supposed to have tripod pan, tilt, and so forth as well as some handheld stuff.

Well, anyway, it isn't finished yet, but I figured I could actually post something for once.  Go easy on me. lol

http://www.gnomishmafia.com/films/thestatue.mov

P.S. The music is from the "Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex" CD.    Umm... oh yeah.. there is a chunk of story missing in the middle.  That'll be shot tomorrow. :)  I know that it's not great, but any criticism would be fantasic!

Update: I've tried to reedit the new footage in and use some of the suggestions you have given me (albeit not very well). Let me know what you think of the new version.

http://www.gnomishmafia.com/films/thestatue-edit.mov
 
Re: Class Project - The Statue

Re: Class Project - The Statue

good job man. what are you planning on putting in the missing footage area?
 
Re: Class Project - The Statue

Re: Class Project - The Statue

It's not all bad. There are some good shots. But overall you need to tighten things up a bit.

Please consider this (unless the guidelines of the project don't allow it):
Let's start with the opening shot; It's too long. Try cutting out some of him walking. I forget the terminology (maybe jump cutting) but basically you take out a few seconds here and there, to make his walk more interesting.

Speaking of the opening shot, any chance you can reshoot it. The pan was not very smooth (jolt at the beginning) and he leaves the frame. If not, no problem. Was it a consumer model tripod?

Next, not sure about having the actors names at the beginning. Is that a requirement? The reason I say this is because when a movie is created by and stars two actors who all have the same last name, it's usually not a good thing. (ATTN: My family helped me make this!) Since it's a short and you only have 2 names, put their credits at the end. Trust me.

The edits of him walking inside the home and up the stairs are perfect. Don't change a thing.

The handheld was nice too. Good job! Will the missing footage explain why the girl hates the statue and wants it OUT? Curious how you will show that with no dialogue. Or is the mystery part of the movie?

Next, the cut from handheld to exterior was rough. Real rough. I know you're trying different angles, so maybe try a much lower angle for that shot. At this point she is the aggressor and has power. You can show that intensity more with a low angle. Either that or do another handheld outside. Either way the current cut doesn't work right. Fiddle with it.

Finally, the last shot is ok, but maybe it can be better. Can you break it up into 2 shots? Use The wide and then when she sits down, cut to a close up. Then have the statue pop-up behind her, do a rack focus on it, then cut back to another wide as she jumps. Also, is this suppose to be funny? The statue movement felt like a puppet show. If it is suppose to be a comedy then it's a looooong wait for a small chuckle of a punchline. Are there any other chuckles you can add in the missing footage section. The fridge shot was a small laugh, so you're ok there.

Oops, one last thing. You already know this, but your quicktime is 2:45min and your movie is 2:00min. I know this was a test/example. Just want you to be aware of this the next the time you compress something.

Good luck and please post an updated version in the future.
PK
 
Re: Class Project - The Statue

Re: Class Project - The Statue

Thank you for your responses! :)

As far as the story is concerned, (I realize that you can't really know this yet since the middle is missing) it goes like this.

*Guy brings home a statue. He sets it down next to his wife who is sleeping.  He leaves (goes to work or something).  Wife wakes up and sees a statue staring at her so she picks it up and hides it in the closet or something.  She lays back down turns over and sees that it is back in its original spot.  She freaks out and goes downstairs thinking shes loony.  The statue is there now.  She's had it... so she throws it out.  Finally she sits down on the coach, and this time it pops up behind her head (this time it looks more alive with movement) and she jumps back.  The End.*

P.K. -

Thank you SO much for your input!  I really appreciate your help. :)

1) Opening shot - I love the idea of jump cuts there.  I'm not great at deciding what parts to leave in and what to take out.  No better time than the present to learn!

Also, the tripod head I use is a Bogen 501.  So, its not great, but better than plain ol' consumer.  Part of the problem is that my wife did the panning and she has never touched the tripod. :)

2) The names - You're probably right about not having them at the beginning.

3) When you say that the scene where she throws the statue out is rough, do you mean because it goes from handheld to tripod?  Or just in general?  I have a bit of time today where I will be shooting the 'missing footage' so I will try to get another low-angle handheld shot of that that scene.

4) I was already planning on getting a close up of the statue at the end, but I didn't consider a rack focus.  I will definatly try that.

5) Ya, I couldn't figure out how to remedy that 45 second tail at the end.  I'll be sure to fix that before I post the final.

Thanks again! :D
 
Re: Class Project - The Statue

Re: Class Project - The Statue

Ok, now that you've explained the missing footage, it makes more sense. Thanks.

As far as the opening. Don't think too much about what to cut out. Pick at random and try it. Work from there. What works, what doesn't. But I do think him starting in the background walking, and making 2 or 3 cuts, to where he's closer would look really cool and flow nicely with the other cuts you have inside the house.

It's rough because it goes from handheld to an exterior shot that's at an unusual angle. I don't know why but it's not a good cut.

I have a Bogen 501 head. They're great. Hmmm Must be human error. ;D

Good luck!
 
Re: CP: The Statue - Update

Maybe its just me, but I kinda felt that the music was a bit out of place. It was just a little too fast-pased and dramatic for the action that was taking place. Experiment with different tunes is my only advice.
 
Re: CP: The Statue - Update

Just as Jaws scared a generation of viewers from going into the ocean, I'm never going to buy a statue of a Chinese man!
 
Re: CP: The Statue - Update

EmpororHai - "You complete me." Ok, now it's a complete package. It was difficult to judge the flow of the piece before because of the missing footage, but now it feels better. Do you like the cuts of him walking, at the beginning? I think it works well. Looks good!

One complaint. In the close-up shot of the girl and the statue, there's too much headroom. Any chance you can reshoot it before submitting it?

Great stuff and good luck!
 
Re: CP: The Statue - Update

oooo

Yoko Kanno music!!!!!!!!!! SHES MY FAVORITE!! If ever I have the opportunity, I'm gonna get her to score on eof my films!!!

Nice with the short, though I would recommend what PK mentioned, shorten some of the shots...hope to see more films with more yoko kanno
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top