Contest submission..plz critique!

M

Molanardi-B

Member
Hello all, Me and my partner molanardi-Z made a short film for a recent contest. The contest was to make a short film showing what you would do with a universal remote control like the one featured in the adam sandler movie "click".

Almost every other submission so far is filmed with a 200 dollar handycam or webcam in a kids room with them making their mom stop asking them to do chores and that kind of easy stuff. Me and my partner wanted to go all out and make a dramatic little film showing what wed use it for. Plz critique and tell us what you think. The compression is pretty bad because it had to be under 10 mbs and I know everyone here knows the quality of DVX anyway, i just need pointers on the editing/music/flow. I made the music myself.

heres the link (yeh i know youtube sucks, but I dont know where else to go)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS3VhNMX10A thanks!
 
Thats all you had to say about it?...thanks for the great feedback!....I realize its a little slow but I was trying to get the point across that its a very tense and important hand.

Some feedback would be great thanks
 
some sound fx would be nice.....eating chocolate....card noises.....it would really add to the drama....right now its just...how shall i say? the build up to the click is really boring...the ending was nice...editing is way too slow for my liking....but that's just my 2 cents.
 
It's looks like it was shot well, maybe try uploading it to sticky pod or something (you're allowed bigger files). I think when showing anything on you-tube, you're just cheating yourself. I definitely would add sound effects and maybe a different track. Have you ever seen snatch or lock stock and two smoking barrels?
 
I think it's a tad too slow, but I didn't think it was boring. And the ending was funny and good, maby just cut it a little faster and I was thinking maby the music can speed up little by little and so would the cuts?
 
To me, the white balance seemed a little off on some of the shots. The cards looked a little green...

I would look at ways to build the drama or make the card hand seem a little more important or like there is more at stake. Maybe in the beginning you establish that the hand of cards decides something even more important than just winning a hand of crads, or more is at stake than just chips/money. Maybe someone's life is in the balance or some wacky thing will happen as a result of someone winning or losing. I think this might add more to the tension and also the payoff in the end.
 
I think that at the beginning it shouldn't say, "This is how I would use my "click" remote control."

I also think instead of doing a "10-minutes later" you should show him actually moving around when time is frozen and switching his cards, eating the oreos, etc. That is the most interesting thing in your video, and you don't even show it!

And I agree that it is way too slow to build up. If you want to show that the card game is intense, fast cuts can be used much more effective. You can make it intense with slow cuts, but this just drags on way too long in the beginning.

Good job. A little editing and you'll have yourself a good video.
 
hehehe not bad
i liked it

Guys wtf is with the youtube bashing.

Its a quick fix for video uploaders. Well all know the quality the dvx is capable of and it didnt bother me one bit, for those it does, stop being so picky and look at the film as opposed to the resolution.

its was really good man.

A litle bit quicker cutting would be nice. Your shots of the cards by themselves are a little over exposed so i would bring the levels down.

I like the heavy contrasty look, only a key light, its cool, but try playing with the CC a bit, lolwer the saturation, make it slightly more suspensive. Cause with the color scheme, it didnt get me into it. It could be more intense.
 
bballplaya283 said:
I think that at the beginning it shouldn't say, "This is how I would use my "click" remote control."

I also think instead of doing a "10-minutes later" you should show him actually moving around when time is frozen and switching his cards, eating the oreos, etc. That is the most interesting thing in your video, and you don't even show it!

And I agree that it is way too slow to build up. If you want to show that the card game is intense, fast cuts can be used much more effective. You can make it intense with slow cuts, but this just drags on way too long in the beginning.

Good job. A little editing and you'll have yourself a good video.
Click to expand...

actually what i would do is forget the whole 10 mins later, and dont show any of it, just having that shot of hi finger about to press play and not, then cutting to hi friend unfreezing is enough to let the audience know he played around with **** before hitting play again.

Thats how it would be money.
 
I thought it was pretty sweet. footage looks good, story was pretty funny. I agree with adding some sound fx to sweeten it up a bit. But over all i liked it.
 
Yeah it's a bit slow, did you have to hit a certain length? I know some competitions require films to be say 4 min or whatever. And yes I'd cut the 10 min later> there aren't many rules for filmaking but one of the sort of "guidelines" are to show rather than telling. Generally not bad. Keep going though!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top