Comedy Short

Robbie Comeau

Robbie Comeau

Como's back. back again
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A one minute comedy short me and my pal worked on. He acted it, and directed, and i also directed, filmed and editted the piece. Its simply a one minute short about a guy on a roof top, heading to get down, and he slips and is hanging on the edge. He calls for help, and god answers. It ends up with a funny punch. Hope you like the stills, the video is now up and running

Wide shot of him looking down, he thinks he see's something
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This is when he falls, and the rope leaves him and hits the ground
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Calling for help
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His expression when he hears God's voice
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i thought the editing and acting were good but for some reason i dont feel like the look is very comedic. it is a little to contrasty which makes it feel more like a drama or something. but the camera work and shot selections were very nice. keep up the good work.
 
dougy, you had the same thoughts i had, and stll have. Yes when i CC'ed it for a contrasy look, i said hmmm this looks a little horror. BUT the only reason why i left it like this, is because It tohught the colors were really nice lol

Thanks
 
"I think it was funny" as in, its funny in your opinion, or "I think its was funny" as in you think, and your not sure?
 
TheComo said:
dougy, you had the same thoughts i had, and stll have. Yes when i CC'ed it for a contrasy look, i said hmmm this looks a little horror. BUT the only reason why i left it like this, is because It tohught the colors were really nice lol

Thanks
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Well....thats the problem with editing your own stuff, etc. Many a time i leave a shot in that is sometimes detrimental to the film but looks darn good anyway. BUt hey it was a funny film. I love the end line
 
Thank you, I'm at coop here and me and one of my 'Supervisors' are going to make a batch of videos. Our goal is 20-30 in the next 3-4 months. Then we will try to get some of them, if not all on the comedy network here in Canada. He noes a guy, so we have a fairly decent chance
 
"One of many video jokes, produced by Comeau Productions and KBD Productions."

Did it really take two whole production companies to get this made? :)

I thought this was much better than I thought it would be. But you completely killed the punchline. You need to re-edit that, so that the punchline is a PUNCHLINE. Right now it's pretty limp, thus not funny. Editing comedy is hard and takes practice and a sense of timing.

Also, like so many of these video-ed jokes I've seen, it's a pretty lame, old, and obvious joke. There was another one on here that did jokes, shot them with amazing professionalism, but the jokes were just the most bland, lame jokes ever. Jokes you've heard at a bar a thousand times.

I would search around for comedy writers to work with, so you can get some fresh material before I went into serious production on 20-30 of these.
 
Ha thanks mark...Our next one will be this, and let me no what you think:

INT. Building- Day

JON arrives at the elevator and pushes the button to go up. The door's open, and JON gets inside.

int. Elevator- Day

JON is waiting patiently, moving his head to the elevator music. He looks in front of him, and sees him self, a mirror is in tact. He makes a goofy face. Then another one. He keeps making all these weird, funny faces, until the doors open, and a woman, about 35 is standing there. She gives him a not so nice look, and JON gives an awkward face expression. He leave with his head down, and walks away. The girl gets in the elevator.
 
TheComo said:
Ha thanks mark...Our next one will be this, and let me no what you think:

INT. Building- Day

JON arrives at the elevator and pushes the button to go up. The door's open, and JON gets inside.

int. Elevator- Day

JON is waiting patiently, moving his head to the elevator music. He looks in front of him, and sees him self, a mirror is in tact. He makes a goofy face. Then another one. He keeps making all these weird, funny faces, until the doors open, and a woman, about 35 is standing there. She gives him a not so nice look, and JON gives an awkward face expression. He leave with his head down, and walks away. The girl gets in the elevator.
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You might want to work on this some more before you film it. Maybe you should post in the screenwriting section to get some help.
 
Yeah, I would certainly not post it on a public website :) That's what I meant about teaming up with some people. I have a group that I do comedies with all the time. The way we work usually work is I tend to come up with the basic concepts - though not always - and then we improvise them and see what works.

Now, I know that may not work perfectly for "jokes" but you get the idea. It helps to bounce things off, rif, etc.
 
Overall, I thought this was pretty good. Your edits were nice. I'm even pretty cool with the performance, I don't think he blew the punchline.

Here's two critiques:
1. The MGD hat was distracting. I thought it might be an ad for Miller beer.
2. Maybe you should have gotten a shot looking down at the street below so the viewer realizes the character is in danger. As it is, I was expecting a wide shot to reveal he was only a few feet off the ground.

As for your elevator idea, I don't get it.
 
Ya we were going to green screen him hanging on to thebuilind,g with a very wide shot.....but then we decided to do it this way, then after the video, He said that i sould have gotten the shot of the street.

Thanks
 
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