SHORT: Comedy - "New Girlfriend"

Yeah, I know about the lighting issues and a couple of the angle issues but can you please be more specific on what you mean by camera, camera angles and sound? just curious, thanks!
 
for the first panning shot, don't pan to fast but a little slower. The brain is to "slow" to capture everything.

Low sealing = no boom mice possible = wireless needed = clothes sounds = just look for another location where it's possible to boom.
Even if you got that location for free.... just look harder then...

The taller guy, I think because your camera couldn't go higher technicaly, has a " I'm big and you're small" feeling. So if he was at the same level or maybe a little more "top shot to the ground" (again...low sealings...avoid them) I don't know the english term for what we call "frog" and "bird" shots (low angle, high angle... ????) frog looking up, bird looking down... Well, I tink some of you will know what I mean...and if not I'll explain it in a 9808080 page roman :-p

Other solution could have been to put the other guy on a higher level (a box or something).

I can surly tell you that the guy and the girl is a real couple..... :-p

The story itself..it's AGAIN that "love" story thing....
 
davidlh said:
Yeah, I know about the lighting issues and a couple of the angle issues but can you please be more specific on what you mean by camera, camera angles and sound? just curious, thanks!
Click to expand...

The two-ish shot at 0:25 has the one fellow's jaw sort of in the top left corner. Throughout most of the shots of Loverboy, the tall guy is cut off by the left frame. Most of the interaction appears to be from a peson sitting down POV. When shooting the reverse shot, from Loverboy's side towards Tall Guy, again for me the cropping is a bit too close, but at least most of Loverboy's head is in the frame.

The other thing that stuck out was the lamp behind Loverboy. It would pop out as Loverboy moved his head, and was distracting.

I probably would have done a more close up of the kiss, maybe with a bit of timewarpage/slomo/blur, and a cut back to Tall Guy's reaction. But perhaps that would be too cheesy...

In the beginning there was an opportunity for a 'reveal'. Two guys are talking and the couple comes down the stairs into to the room. I probably would have set up for a two shot, and as the one guy turns to look at who's come down, have him also step back to reveal the couple's entrance. The couple could have entered more as a 'couple' as well.

Could have also had a billiard ball scratch (avoid ruining the felt of course...), indicating there was a 'surprise' of some sort.
 
Yeah, I know what you mean about the light behind my head, it really is annoying. I wish I would have gotten a little closer on the kiss, but as for the pan over, I was really going for the slow, awkward as possible, shot so I didn't want to make any cuts in there. When we were coming down the stairs, there was suppose to be a two shot but it didn't come out well. My original intention was to see ME coming down the stairs, the tall guy sees him and walks over, and then he sees HER walking down the stairs and just pauses as if he's confused.

The video was shot to look like nothing more than a step up from a Youtube style video and I didn't wanna get too fancy with it, but I do appreciate your advice and agree with the framing, especially! Thanks for responding!
 
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