Comedic Pilot: The Other High School

[honeytown]

Hey everyone. Recently, I purchased a DVX100 and used it to shoot a very, very, very low-budget, mockumentary style comedy pilot. I realize this is a camera forum, and the film doesn't have the best of camera work, but what I'm more interested in is your reaction to the story/characters and comedy. Does it make you laugh?

I would describe it as a relative of The Office, much closer in tone to the British than the American. One person who watched it described it as "Reno 911 in a school," so, that's close to what you're in for.

http://www.alexricciardi.com/tohs_med_02-05-08.mov

Please, let me know what you think, and don't be afraid to be critical. As we will be actively trying to sell the pilot, we want it to be the absolute best that it can be.

 

[Spartacus]

Ok,
I actually watched it a couple of minutes, but then I just got bored.
First, the original "office style" seems arbitrary, but it isn´t.
Your camera work and lighting is arbitrary. IMHO it doesn´t look "verité" but plain amateurish.
Furthermore, the camera in "The Office" or "24" almost becomes a character itself...

Second, what sells shows like "The Office" mainly is script and acting.
I was waiting for good punchlines or dramatic outbursts, but it was just some guys babling away.
I suppose your intension is to somehow make fun aboud/exploid the cliché artist guys and gals who studie design or film and are oh-so artistic in everything they do, even taking pictures of there shitpile and using it in collages.
Well, your "actors" weren´t "larger than life" but rather much, much smaller.
No death-loving-nihilistic goth chic,
no tight-pants-buddy-holly-glasses-wearing-bitching gay boy,
no slow-talking-pothead hippie girl aso...
Just the regular guys from North Western High (un-alternativ).
For me, they just didn´t sell it and I´m still waiting for the humor.

Comedy is very hard, and the again popular docu/verité style is always done by people, who know the rules before they break them...
Just my 2c...

 

[Spartacus]

Re-reading my post, it is very negativ.
Don´t get me wrong, you´re actually right on track.
Why?
Because you already did the most important thing right: going out and shoot, comming back and finish.
You will do this over and over and your stuff will become better and better...

All the best,

Spart

 

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

To be honest... try to be original. You are not going to sell an "office" rip-off at this point. The Office is a great show and your show will be directly compared to it.

You are on the right track... keep at it. Just try something more original and get better with the camera and mic.

Just my 2 cents.