SHORT: Classmates
- Thread starter ZetKey
- Start date
The good - Your exposure was pretty good throughout, and your actors looked the appropriate part.
The stuff to work on - it was a little hard to understand sometimes because your subtitles didn't match up to the actors. There were a few spelling mistakes. But, most of all the story/twist was pretty light weight. No disrespect intended, but you have to ask when writing: why should the audience care ?, what makes this compelling ? Why should they invest 10 minutes to watch this ? I know this is an amateur short and I wasn't expecting a Cannes finalist - the only reason I mention those questions are for future endeavors. Even in amateur filmmaking we want to connect to the audience, to communicate our viewpoint.
Good luck with future shorts/features. Technically I think you're getting there, but imho, start the why questions earlier in the process.
Keep shooting!
cheers
The stuff to work on - it was a little hard to understand sometimes because your subtitles didn't match up to the actors. There were a few spelling mistakes. But, most of all the story/twist was pretty light weight. No disrespect intended, but you have to ask when writing: why should the audience care ?, what makes this compelling ? Why should they invest 10 minutes to watch this ? I know this is an amateur short and I wasn't expecting a Cannes finalist - the only reason I mention those questions are for future endeavors. Even in amateur filmmaking we want to connect to the audience, to communicate our viewpoint.
Good luck with future shorts/features. Technically I think you're getting there, but imho, start the why questions earlier in the process.
Keep shooting!
cheers
some isues withthe subtitles yes...
But technically this was very good.. You didn't had 480486408646408648646486 feet of headroom in frame (space above heads), the dialogues (sounds) was good,
maybe it needs some small "fine-tuning" but it surely can be used.
Storywise, I can see there's some kind of a "point of no return" and a "protagonist/antagonist" and a "somebody did something that somebody else didn't like"... So be sure to cotinue like this and improve yourself.
But technically this was very good.. You didn't had 480486408646408648646486 feet of headroom in frame (space above heads), the dialogues (sounds) was good,
maybe it needs some small "fine-tuning" but it surely can be used.
Storywise, I can see there's some kind of a "point of no return" and a "protagonist/antagonist" and a "somebody did something that somebody else didn't like"... So be sure to cotinue like this and improve yourself.
