Caring for the dead...

J

jefft99

Active member
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A shy night nurse cares for a catatonic man in his last days of life.

This is the first scene which has been adapted for film from the stage-play. The entire film (when complete) should have a 12-14 minute run time. Lighting was a mix between 3 Brittick (500 watts each) studio lights along with regular florecent light (which I think works really well with the DVXA)

All footage was shot 24frame advanced mode.

www.jefft.org/L1.mov
www.jefft.org/L1.wmv

I really do appreciate and welcome the thoughts. Particularly on this one...

Thanks so much for taking a look...

All my best,

Jeff
 
seems interesting jeff. now i don't know if this was on purpose, but did you want the light from outside to be blue spilling through the windows in the office? it just looks weird that you didn't white balance to that light. i think you should have personally.

other than that it looks pretty cool.......you should try to stablize the crane shots over the bed.
 
I forgot to mention that this is the rough cut of that scene...Much work to go...I also have to edit in an alarm sound... ;-)

Thanks for that though...
 
In my oppinons, this doesnt really work as a scene, the intermixed voiceovers dont feel planned, they feel like you mixed up two seperate scenes. It also seems more like its a trailer than a scene.

Alot of how this will work will depend on how long you intend the move to be but it seems to be a bizarre introduction(but its different so maybe thats the idea). Visuals look good but I think a little more color correction could be usefull.

Dont take me as being totally negative because there are alot of good things about it, I am looking forward to seeing more of how this develops
 
i thought it was a trailer until you guys said something... I'm not liking the intro scene either.. I think the audio could use some work.. Also I think you broke the 180 rule when you switch to the other side in the interview... actually i don't know that for sure, either way it doesn't flow.

Heres a suggestion: I say start out closeup like you did... then switch to some cool looking/well angled wide shot of the two subjects.. It'd be a good time to emphasize the set/office place and take the viewers mind off the redundant lady talking.
 
well aside from mentioned 180 rule break I say excellent job on creating an atmosphere. I found the editing and style interesting. Found myself wanting to watch more(which is rare) Keep plugging at it. I think this is going in the right direction.
 
Jefft99

I think these guys are looking for faults instead of taking it for what it is; which is really solid in my opinion. This is one of the few pieces submitted that actually feels professional (albeit rudimentary).

Forget about Justin's hang-up with the color balance; that is simply a stylistic and subjective decision in the first place.

At first glance I thought it a teaser but we're watching it out of context so I can't really say anything about that.

The talent seems firstrate and the Audio can use some tweaking (The voiceover is great but the lady speaking can use some adjustments IMO)

Good job. If i had to say anything about the edit I'd say the insert if the hands didn't work for me.
 
John Hudson just became my favorite person....The hands don't work for me either by the way...I just needed to cut away from the table....

Thanks for the comments...I appreciate them all

Jeff
 
john's a cool dude, he see's the art unlike some.

anyway, I like it. It could use some technical touching but it's good work!
 
I also thought it was a trailer. But it looks really nice, and I think it has potential. The woman in the red shirt seemed like she was reading her lines at times, just didnt seem very natural. But besides that dude I can't wait to see it when its all said and done. Good luck!
 
I agree with Hudson,

I like the fluidness to the project so far and you have a good sense of screen direction. Dont worry about the nit picky aspects of it all. I know that you have a lot of work to do on it. It seems like an interesting story. To be honest I actually like it when people break the rules of filming like 180's, lines of action, etc... It to me seems for artistic, and the average viewer doesnt even care.
 
I actually like the talent you have. seems natural to me. The blinds in the office window were distracting to me, but I think it's a good work.

SmithHouse
 
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