Butterflies in the Wind in pursuit of happiness

The new trailer is better because it explains what's going on but now it's showing us too much and not hitting us hard. You've set up a great situation for the characters and the acting seems pretty good but you want to hit us with the what's happening in these character's lives. Break it down to us in glimspes and sound bites. (Don't forget music). The only trailer I can think right now that does it well without a any narration is Iron Man.

-Nate
 
My advice to filmmakers who feel more secure with shorts before shooting a feature length movie is that you should consider those themes that can be expanded upon. Then you can build a short into a feature and maybe even use the short as a flashback or something.
 
filmman said:
The last trailer must be good; no one's commenting LOL

It's actually just over a minute, so it would be nice if I had a few comments.

Thanks.
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Filmman,

I was a little confused as to the film image flashes (numbers, etc.) in the trailer. Is this in the film and does it have a specific purpose? The reason I ask (and I guess the same for the ghosting credits at the end of the trailer) is I think it takes away from the power of the story (I assume the streetwalker is her friend and that's how she's making the money). I like the look of the film (very 70's and raw). I didn't see the first trailer but this one has a nice feel to it. Perhaps you could cut out the end credits, cut to black and continue with the voice over "I' think she's pregnant, and I'd really like to help her." with the title fading in. It might be a bit more dramatic.

Keep up the good work and I definitely understand about equipment issues (my mac crashes about 9 times a day; plugin/hardware/plain old messing with my head issues. LOL

Todd
 
Nate wrote: The new trailer is better because it explains what's going on but now it's showing us too much and not hitting us hard. You've set up a great situation for the characters and the acting seems pretty good but you want to hit us with the what's happening in these character's lives. Break it down to us in glimspes and sound bites. (Don't forget music). The only trailer I can think right now that does it well without a any narration is Iron Man.
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This sounds good to me, Nate. Thanks for the critique; I will work on it.
 
I was a little confused as to the film image flashes (numbers, etc.) in the trailer. Is this in the film and does it have a specific purpose? The reason I ask (and I guess the same for the ghosting credits at the end of the trailer) is I think it takes away from the power of the story (I assume the streetwalker is her friend and that's how she's making the money). I like the look of the film (very 70's and raw). I didn't see the first trailer but this one has a nice feel to it. Perhaps you could cut out the end credits, cut to black and continue with the voice over "I' think she's pregnant, and I'd really like to help her." with the title fading in. It might be a bit more dramatic.

Keep up the good work and I definitely understand about equipment issues (my mac crashes about 9 times a day; plugin/hardware/plain old messing with my head issues. LOL

Todd
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Thanks for reviewing the trailer. I will look into this as well. I like the ending you suggested.
 
filmman said:
Thanks for reviewing the trailer. I will look into this as well. I like the ending you suggested.
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You already have the info. But I agree with DCP (Todd). The numbers, "Color by deluxe" ghosting credits seemed weird to me. Id' also like to see it build. Start from something, a powerful line. then go into the story, then leave with a heavy line.

"I saw this girl the other day, while I was driving and she looked just like you."
Go over your story line from this point and take it to 50 seconds.
Go over major conflicts, funny moments, character development for next 30 seconds
End with somethign powerful, "The girl was a streetwalker. She was pregnant. She looked just like you."
Credits: Butterflies in the Wind
Full running time: 1 min 30-40 seconds

I wouldn't show your name, unless your name is strong with foriegn distributors. Anything is a liability unless it's an asset.
 
I just uploaded this trailer. It incorporates a few of the suggestions made by Todd and Nate.

Thanks for the review of BUTTERFLIES IN THE WIND, JLS. I'm working on another trailer tonight and tomorrow.

I feel that this process is helping me deal with my blind spots as a one-man-crew filmmaker :-) Thanks everyone for your suggestions and encouragement.
 
JLS4 wrote: Start from something, a powerful line. then go into the story, then leave with a heavy line.
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I'm editing a new trailer today taking some of your suggestions and some of the other ones Nate and Todd mentioned.
 
filmman said:
Hey, Nate, I didn't forget the music :-) I was just in a hurry to see if the simple storyline worked.
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The story seems very interesting. I get that the guy who just got back into town is (was?) dating a woman who he knows is a hooker. She's pregnant and I'm assuming her cover may be about to be blown. Wow. There's definitely a lot of story there.

-Nate
 
Well, good. It looks like I'm making some progress. Back to the G5 tomorrow morning. I must come up with a number of trailers that together perhaps will find an audience for my movie BUTTERFLIES....
 
Ahh that actress' voice who is doing the V.O...she reminds me of an actress but I can't put a pin on it...Especially at the end...that voice...It's been driving me nuts for a week!
 
It's Lynn Holly Robertson. She plays Mary, the young widow who is the target of the boyfriend's marriage proposal in Butterflies in the Wind. She did stand up work for an actress, but I don't remember her name. I think she also told me that she reminds people of an actress by the name of Page ( I think it was Geraldine Page) but I'm not sure.
 
Vic I'd cut away to some cool shots while they're talking. It will allow you to blend the scenes together better and it also allow you to showcase some of the more VALUED shots you got.

I would also suggest using a more dramatic score for the trailer. It could be something really simple and sinister.
 
excellent points -- all three ... I'm going to do that tomorrow and post it back.

I think this process of airing my trailer ideas is working

thanks!
 
http://www.releasing.net

ok, here is my 6th trailer for Butterflies in the Wind
this one has some music I threw together in Soundtrack Pro

I followed the suggestions that Laurant made in the last post and also some of the other suggestions from before

Gentlemen, I really appreciate your help in teaching me how to edit an effective trailer

I feel really good about this one

I'm still going to cut some more probably, but I feel I'm on the right track now
thanks
 
Wow, the film keep looking more and more interesting. I think this trailer tells way too much. Try something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvKKuiwkKrc (an even this could be much shorter).

aurantaurant said:
Vic I'd cut away to some cool shots while they're talking. It will allow you to blend the scenes together better and it also allow you to showcase some of the more VALUED shots you got.

I would also suggest using a more dramatic score for the trailer. It could be something really simple and sinister.
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Right, let the dialogue be heard but show other scenes. I do a lot of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TKnlUivPQY&feature=channel_page and check your email.

-Nate
 
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The trailer for the Diane Lane, Richard Gere movie was real slick. It kind of tells a whole story on its own; it's like a mini-movie; but you're right, it still doesn't tell the whole story. In fact, I've seen the movie on TV a couple of times (in bits and pieces -- I don't like the story too much), and the trailer stands on its own as a -- like I say -- a short movie.

It would be great if I could muster the creative forces and do a complex and well-thought out trailer like this one for BUTTERFLIES IN THE WIND. I wouldn't even care if it worked and I was able to sell more DVDs. A trailer like this is an achievement onto its own. LOL

I like your trailer for Wages of Sin also. It is a rough, B-Movie, of course, but it works well. If I had this trailer in the foreign market with your movie, I'd be able to make sales. Of course, the two movies are very different. The Diane Lane, Richard Gere movie would sell ok in the foreign market too, on the basis of the names; but not on the basis of the trailer, because there is no action. Your movie is action and would sell much easier to the action-oriented buyers. It would sell more territories for less money.

Thanks for designing the cover for my film book, Nate. I really appreciate that.

Tomorrow I'm going to give it one more whirl and see if I can improve the BUTTERFLIES IN THE WIND trailer. I'm going to find better music and cut in a lot of shots and subplots. I'm going to take it up a notch toward a promo-trailer.
 
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