Blonde jokes

Terry_Lasater

Terry_Lasater

All about the Caption
Post 'em here...


A blonde has her car towed to a repair shop
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She asks, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



Two blonde's walk into a building...
you would think one would have seen it.



A blonde, a priest and a horse walk into a bar and the bartenders says...
Is this some kind of joke?!



A blonde goes to the doctor and says "I've broken every bone in my body". The doctor doesn't believe her so she says "I'll prove it."

She pokes herself in the arm and it hurts really bad.
She pokes herself in the leg and it hurts really bad.
She pokes herself in the head and it hurts really bad.

The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is you broke your finger."



Two blonds are standing on opposite banks of a river. The first yells over to the second, "How do you get to the other side?".

The second replies, "You ARE on the other side, silly".
 
Killer Biscuits

Killer Biscuits

(The actual Associated Press headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
 
Blaine said:
(The actual Associated Press headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
Click to expand...

Blaine,

Do I realy have to read through all this?
 
Blaine said:
(The actual Associated Press headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
Click to expand...

These guys tested that story (which has many variations):
mythbusters.jpg


Their tests proved it very possible. However they then took the liberty to declare it busted on the assumption that no one would actually be that stupid.
I of course totally disagree with their basis for "busting" it. Physically it was possible, and if they don't think anyone was "that stupid", then that's what this is for:

31JYX9858TL._AA280_.jpg




- Mikko ... wants that shirt.
 
Why can't a blond be a pharmacist?



Because they have the hardest time fitting those little bottles into the typewriter.
 
Ext. Park - Night
Two blondes sit on a bench looking at the moon.

Blonde 1: Which is farther away, the moon or florida?
Blonde 2: Hello! Can you see florida from here?
 
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
 
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