"Blind Date" by TheComo, Kegan Sant & John Labonney

Yes! Thanks so much Jared.

Much appreciated here...

I get a lot of criticism about the the CC I did, which personally I love...

I will do some change and see how it turns out...
 
Good work Robbie and Kegan (and the rest of your crew).

This short shows a lot of growth from all of you. I remember reading the script a while back and thinking, "I wonder if Robbie's going to be able to pull this off," and you did.

There were a few minor technical problems but they didn't distract me from the story.

My only story gripe is that the care-taker (don't know proper name) of the girl didn't seem to work as well as it did in the script. I remember there being more lines from her at the dinner scene so that the part at her front door didn't seem so sudden. In the script she showed more attitude and the line "Hey there Mr. Talkative" (probably not the line) seemed in her character. In the film she has fewer lines and that line sort of felt off.

Aside from that I really enjoyed the short. Good work.
 
Robbie and Kegan

This was a nice heartfelt story. It was shot smoothly and the sound was great. My only criticism would be some production value. So maybe when he gets the phone call from his buddy, we could be at a different location, interior car, work or anywhere other than the house since we go back there for dinner. Other than that I rank it my top 4. You both have real talent and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work. Hope I didn’t come across like Martha…
 
Drew, completely agree with you on the caretaker part. It was really dumbed down from the original lines she had, but to keep consistent with the flow, some of her lines had to be cut.

Anthony, you make a valid point about the different locations. It wouldn't have been a bad idea at all to switch up locations some more. In fact, it would have added much more to the production value.

We're going to experiment with a couple other looks (not too many), get rid of the title cards and do some minor tweaking before we send it off to some other festivals. As mentioned before, we don't want to spend a ton of time on it because we want to continue working on other projects. We do, however want to make sure it gets put out there in the best possible light.

-Kegan
 
I think this is your first short? I haven't had time to follow everything but its pretty good for a start. The only thing I would say is the cooking scene should stay on the side where we see the window blinds, its a more interesting angle than the other where we can see down to the living room. Also, when the guy is telling the mom that she can take care of herself seemed a little harsh for a second time meeting the mom. I would have ***** slapped him if it were my daughter and he spoke to me that way especially with someone that has a double disability.
The story was just right for the time allocated. People who enter this fest for the first time have problems making something fit in 6 minutes. The other acting was decent and the ending worked for me. I think the title of the movie gave away too much though.
Good work and keep it up.
 
Thanks for your comment, it wasn't either of our first shorts. The cooking scene was a little dragged out and we're working on re-cutting another version with different CCing and taking everyones thoughts into consideration. The lady wasn't her mom, it was her translator and the title was debated but we chose to leave it in the end.

-Kegan
 
Blind Date
I had expectations from the title and they were satisfyingly met. I thought the girl did well playing deaf and blind, however I think her eyes could have wandered a bit more. She obviously knew how to sign, so it was convincing. My daughter signs and she watched this and said, ‘yeah, that’s real’. The girl was simple and very pretty. The guy ended up caring, so I was rooting for things to work out for the both of them.

I preferred the hand held shots of the phone conversation in the middle of the movie over the static one at the beginning on the sofa.

Favorite dialog was when he is first introduced to Helen, the interpreter tells him that she's deaf and blind and he says 'Are you sure about that?'. I thought that worked really well, like when you find out something that's hard to believe, we sometimes say stupid things.

My favorite shot is the one in the kitchen, over the counter, looking towards the blinds. I thought that was composed best, good lighting and shallow depth of field.

The part where he comes to get her and take her without her ‘chaperone’ was not believable to me. I know how difficult it is to transition the story to where you wanted it to end in 6 minutes, so I can give that a pass.

I liked the subtle use of music and how it was used to evoke the scene.

I didn’t think that you needed the ending exposition. It would have been nice to convey that in front of the camera somehow.

I liked the story especially, nice and hopeful. This is in my top 12. Great job you guys (and girls)!
 
Thanks Robert.

I liked the handheld shot to. And it worked. Usually in a fight/argue scene you have them walking and talking angrily, so I thought that my camera movement suit this as I gave the camera some movement. However, I found that the first phone scene worked, nice and tripod style, only cause it wasn't an argue scene.

I'm going to give a shout out to my Composer Phil, and my Writer John, and I hope you are checking out this thread frequently. Why? So you guys can learn. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but some of the critiques I'm getting here is because of how the story was written. John, by reading all these critiques with Kegan and I, you can learn to right? I'm not coming hard on you man, I'm just saying that OBVIOUSLY you are going to make mistakes, as we all do. All the people in this thread (especially Barry, Jason, Kholi and a couple others) gave Kegan and I awesome critiques. They aren't just for us though, as they are for you, the writer.

John, you did a kick ass job on the script. I'll leave it as that.

Now for Phil, the composer. I think everyone seemed to like the score you did, so there isn't to much to critique in your end.

Keep in mind, that you did a great job.

Thanks to all,

Robbie
 
Last edited:
Robbie Comeau said:
I'm going to give a shout out to my Composer Phil, and my Writer John, and I hope you are checking out this thread frequently. Why? So you guys can learn. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but some of the critiques I'm getting here is because of how the story was written. John, by reading all these critiques with Kegan and I, you can learn to right? I'm not coming hard on you man, I'm just saying that OBVIOUSLY you are going to make mistakes, as we all do.


Robbie
Click to expand...

Ummm.... in my opinion you deviated from John's script a little too much to blame any story criticisms on his writing. We will never know (in this case) where he needs to improve because the acting and especially the ending changed too much.

Yes, he can learn from some of the critiques concerning the writing that you left untouched and shot well. That I agree with.
Nobody is perfect, we can all improve. I get that.

But... when you take on a script and make some pretty major changes... you have to accept a lot of the responsibility concerning those changes. Especially in terms of how the translator was left behind and the entire restaurant scene. That's not how John wrote it.

Either way... the movie still turned out fairly well and I'm sure John's taking notes.

Cheers!

Mike
 
I didn't mean to come down hard on him, seeing as we DID make changes to the script...but I hadn't seen him post much so I just wanted to remind him that he could learn a couple things too
 
Last edited:
No problem at all. You weren't that hard on him, I just wanted things to be clear.
I agree that we can all learn. A lot of us are just beginners after all...


Cheers.
 
Robbie Comeau said:
and I hope you are checking out this thread frequently. Why? So you guys can learn. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but some of the critiques I'm getting here is because of how the story was written. John, by reading all these critiques with Kegan and I, you can learn to right? I'm not coming hard on you man, I'm just saying that OBVIOUSLY you are going to make mistakes, as we all do. All the people in this thread (especially Barry, Jason, Kholi and a couple others) gave Kegan and I awesome critiques. They aren't just for us though, as they are for you, the writer.
Click to expand...

Heck yeah, I'm all over this thread, reading every post, and I appreciate all the comments very much, from the highest praise to the harshest criticism. It's all good.
 
Robbie Comeau said:
I'm going to give a shout out to my Composer Phil, and my Writer John, and I hope you are checking out this thread frequently. Why? So you guys can learn. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but some of the critiques I'm getting here is because of how the story was written. John, by reading all these critiques with Kegan and I, you can learn to right? I'm not coming hard on you man, I'm just saying that OBVIOUSLY you are going to make mistakes, as we all do.


Robbie
Click to expand...


Robbie you should not be throwing any blame on the writers for how the writing was carried over onto the screen. I read the original script, and the complaints you are receiving are only about the changes you decided to make.

Even if there were story problems that originated from the writer:

1) You didn't have to make that film
2) You should not publicly tell your writer that he needs to learn more about writing
3) Opinions on story are all subjective and if one person says a story is bad another might think it is great. Story decisions aren't "mistakes," some people just may not see it the way it was intended.
 
There have been a lot of comments on the use of the title cards at the end of the film, and pretty much everyone thinks that they are superfluous. I'm wondering if that's because most people here are "movie people" if you will, and prefer to see ideas expressed through action and dialog. I think that the use of the cards is the right call, but I seem to be alone in this camp. That's okay, but I wonder if Robbie's got enough coverage at the end of the restaurant scene to properly convey the emotion.

John
 
To avoid this thread completely derailing, first off I'd like to say that I appreciate John's good nature and it was GREAT to have collaborated with him. No complaints, whatsoever.

As for Robbie's post, I don't think he was trying to shift the blame, so much as he was trying to include the composer and writer in the learning experience. If you take a look at the first post on this page, I think that it clearly expresses his intentions.

Changes that were made were done on OUR behalf, not John's and I accept full responsibility for that. Robbie's post was just misinterpreted, but hopefully now everything is a little more understood.

-Kegan
 
Yeah Robbie has edited his post to be closer to what he meant (hopefully). In the original post it came off a little harsh but I see what he meant now.
 
Robbie Comeau said:
but I hadn't seen him post much
Click to expand...

Robbie:

That's true, I've been kind of hanging back in the threads of films that I've been involved in. I'm enjoying reading everyone's comments, and have been watching the reactions to peoples' critiques. They've all been very interesting, and in general, helpful. I'm making mental notes of them and they'll come in handy as I write new material.

So thanks to everyone for their comments and thoughts. Don't hold back! Keep 'em coming!
 
johnlabonney said:
There have been a lot of comments on the use of the title cards at the end of the film, and pretty much everyone thinks that they are superfluous. I'm wondering if that's because most people here are "movie people" if you will, and prefer to see ideas expressed through action and dialog. I think that the use of the cards is the right call, but I seem to be alone in this camp. That's okay, but I wonder if Robbie's got enough coverage at the end of the restaurant scene to properly convey the emotion.

John
Click to expand...
My problem with the cards is that they generally wrap things up in a pretty bow. I feel that was the case here. We could see they were getting along well. That, IMO, is enough for this story. I really think this could have done without them. I enjoyed this movie and was really surprised by its polish for such young filmmakers.

I don't mind the cards in a movie based on a true story even though I think the are usually not that necessary. I am a bit more lenient with actual people as opposed to fictional characters. The other spot I don't mind the cards are when they're used as humor.

In this particular instance, we weren't able to develop some of the elements integral to the story well enough to demand the cards. Take that time back and put it into his learning the signing which due to the compressed timeline of this movie didn't quite ring true.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top