Beautiful, Cinematic 5D Short Film

I really liked it except for the VO acting which I found a little flat.
Really liked the writing and photography though and nice use of black and white / color.
 
I liked it, but too found the VO a little distracting. It was a bit flat, no real emotion coming from it and I think it needs that because the activities he is doing in the film are normal, every day things. I know what a book store looks like, I know what riding the subway is like, I know what going to a dive bar and drinking is like. I want to see something new, or at least the regular portrayed in an interesting way. Look at your camera angles and such. There is obviously a solid skill set there, but everything was shot from eye level which is OK if there is a narrative point to it, but I didn't see one. Let me experience the world in a new way.

There were a few good lines in the VO (nakedest sounds odd though) but it felt forced like you were trying too hard to be clever. The bookstore being a purgatory for trees I found well written.

Overall nice work, but it could be a little stronger. If I hadn't read the description of the film I don't think I could have understood what was going on though. Or rather, I would not have gathered that he decided to do something different with his day then his normal routine.

Good luck in the competition.
 
Thanks for the replies.

The voiceover was being done in Chicago but I had to go to California, so my producer oversaw the recording of it. That's one thing I would change. Wasn't thrilled with it either. Appreciate the input, though.

best
 
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