Baseball Commercial, Letus35

Joey Lawrence

Joey Lawrence

Active member
Hullo,

I thought I'd show off a commercial I created for a Real Estate Company in the United States. I was approached by a man who liked my work after seeing me win in the Bogen film festival. Anyway we came up with a concept, I shot it, edited it, got payed very well, and voila, here is the result.

Quicktime, 4.27mb
AVI, DIVX codec required, 2.34mb

It was shot with the DVX I saved up for with the Photoshop Post-Processing DVD Tutorial money. (It's still available. See my photographic work here) I thought I should at least fill you guys and gals in who have supported me on what I've been up to! Also, for those interested, the personal project about homeless people is still underway. I just did this for some extra money toward the SLR I am saving for.

I'd love to hear some feedback. Thanks!

-JL
 
Hey Joey,

It looks pretty good, congratulations on getting the dvx, hope you enjoy it. Alright, heres the critique... One big thing that stuck out to me was the music, it seemed way to low, almost like it wasnt meant to be there. I think that especially during the running it should be louder, to add more excitement or whatnot. Another thing I saw was that it looked as if both the batter and the fielders were wearing the same uniform, so it almost gets a bit confusing because it seems like hes trying to get himself out. The last thing isn't anything too major, but I'm not a big fan of the vignetting going on. It forces me into seeing an image thats almost circular in particular when the fielder gets the ball and throws it. But thats more of a personal thing and it might be that your client wanted/liked it best that way.

On another note, how did you like shooting with the letus35?

EDIT
Just went back and re-read what I wrote. It kinda seems that all I have to say are "negative" things, but theres a lot of postive things to say about your commercial. Its shot quite well, the composition, color and quality are very impressive. Especially seeing that you shot it with a 35mm adapter, there have been plenty of threads and people saying they are having difficulty getting a good image out of it aswell as having trouble with softness issues, but you got a great image out of it.
 
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I loved how it started off. Great eye for composition and lighting was really well done. As soon as the foot hit first base, I thought it was going to be a great start, and for some parts it was. The music as mentioned before didn't fit too well, in my opinion. A couple of the running shots were either a little too blurry or too shakey. The shakey ones could have been slowed down or something to decrease blurring.

The ending was a little weak but the sliding across home base was great! It was well done, but a couple things could have been done differently to have made it better. Just my thoughts.

-Kegan
 
All technical aspects looked great. I felt that the segment from 1st base to home was too long. I liked the ending.

EP
 
Joey, I looked at your work here and on your web site -- and I have to say, it's EXCELLENT across the board... you are gifted, lots of talent, and you're so young...

You'll go far....

I wish you the best on your future endeavors!
 
i loved the artwork on your site... so much talent!!!!! wasnt a huge fan of the commercial, though, big man... but that doesnt matter. you've got big talent with graphic design and photography, man. keep it up!
 
Well, I agree with just about everything already said. Music could help make this much more dramatic. And the vignetting doesn't do it for me either. But for the most part, good job.

Steven
 
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