"Attack Of Conscience" - short film

zjsalsman

zjsalsman

New member
Hey everyone,

I am a junior media production major and I just made my first short film for my 300 level production class. The basic assignment was to produce a 5-10 minute narrative with no dialogue. (we also had to make an original countdown clock for the beginning) This was my first time using the DVX. My friend was kind enough to let me use it with his supervision. I wrote,shot, directed and edited this by myself however it would not have been possible without my dedicated cast and crew. I would love to hear some feedback. Enjoy!

heres the link

http://s9.video.blip.tv/1320001843839/Zjsalsman-AttackOfConscience285.mov
 
Last edited:
Nice job man, i really liked the parts when the hit man walks up the stairs and then into the room.... some really cool shots!

i also really liked the graveyard dolly shot.

needs some work on the sound design, but that is really easy to fix....

Great work overall!


PS your technical director did a great job!
 
Who was the guy that shot the hitman? didn't really understand that too much. She was having relations with some other guy that quickly.
 
Video looked great. I like the idea of a dialogue less movie. I am currently working on a piece called THE HIT. I was preparing dialogue but after seeing yours I think I want to try the same idea and see how it turns out. Kudos bro!
 
Good job man! You guys got some really good depth out of the DVX and the lighting was well done in the basement. You had the three major parts of a story a beg., middle and end. Although, like Helferc touched on the ending was a little akward, I was left wondering who that guy was and why he brought a gun to the cemetery. I wanted to be a little more satisfied with the ending. You could have just altered the script a little and stayed within your timeframe too. If the guy at the end, lets say he is the girls brother, would have come home at the same time the hitman was staring at the girl and the hitman escaped somehow before the brother could do anything. IMO, I think it could have made a little more sense. Also I felt the POV kinda shift I would have like to have seen a close up of our hitman laying in the grass dead as she walks off. I know you had that shot from the side of him lying down but I think a close up would have been more powerful. I know its easy to monday morning quarterback your movie but all in all a kick a$$ job.
 
Your other video was Dialogness also!

Cool video.

Edit- Wops, it was htt mcph55 guy! Weird coincidence here...Cause i told him about the Blip thing in full screen to....Hmmmmm
 
haha yea well zjsals is my boy from film school.... he was my lead actor in "detour" and i helped him shoot this one
 
Yea thanks alot for the feedback. I do wish i had more time to develop the script and I can see how the end could come across as confusing. I learned that pre-production is probably the most important stage of making any film from this project
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top