Appreciate feedback on this clip

Hi Kidster,

Thank you for taking the time to look.

It was filmed around Cornwall in England.

My concern is the poem may be distracting from the piece and whether it would be better just letting the music score carry the visuals along!

Cheers,

GDR
 
Beautiful visuals, but I didn't watch it all. Sorry, just gonna need more than a poem, some music, and beautiful visuals to get through six minutes. It's tough enough to get people to watch a 3 minute clip with an engaging story.

That's probably my only beef. I don't want you to cut it down to please others, but I'm just saying a lot of people don't want to watch 6 minutes of... nothing. the images are beautiful, but unless they're better than the stuff coming out of Hollywood (a.k.a. "the stuff we see all the time"), it's not going keep me watching.

Or is this a demo reel?

Good job though.

And no, the poem Doesn't distract from the visuals. The visuals distract from the poem if anything.
 
Hi Jon,

Thx for your comments, much appreciated. I understand what you mean, but unfortunately I don't have a hollywood budget!:(

Cheers,

GDR
 
You dont need hollywood budget ,just a pen to write your script.I like some takes but i think this is forum for short/feature films ,not vacation memory videos and plant films from travels,so you wont get much feedback when your film contain nature shots ,theres nothing to judge besides colours and locations.I think many of us had those types of videos but we dont post them,its like family video.This might be harsh,but this is it,there are films and there are family videos.I dont think that this video would be more interesting when shoot on film by hollywood crew(exactly the same takes/framing and locations).
 
Hi GDR,
These are my impressions. First, beautiful camera work. Second, nice job of editing to the music. The structure of the music sets the pace of editing so it works well. We can always count on Pink Floyd to ease us into a climax.

Third, I agree with Jon Starr and bwwd that the piece lacks direction and seems like a long travel promo. The first 1:20 seem to me to be the most coherent and actually convey a message: Slow down, notice the world, breathe. Frankly, I would have ended there. I know this is difficult because there are gorgeous images in the rest of the piece. Perhaps you could use these same clips in another piece? Also, I wonder how a shorter film might work without the Pink Floyd, just the Davies poem...perhaps with a little wild sound?

Fourth, on my system the audio came across slightly thin with too much sibilance, and perhaps a tad bit too loud (but maybe not) for the imagery. Personally I prefer slightly lower levels to match the bucolic scenery. Very nice reading of the poems, I should add. And at 2:40 the audio seems to degrade quite a bit becoming even thinner and having more echo. This was distracting.

Being primarily a painter and printmaker and sometimes musician, I am far from an experienced maker of films. These are just my impressions informed by my interest in all things artistic and creative. I hope I have been able to contribute something to your process.
 
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