Anyone want to cheer me up?

Filmmakerguy: It's tough for me to "self-promote". I usually end up feeling like I am bragging, and I don't like that. Got to either get over that, or find a way to share it without that "dirty feeling" afterwards. I am my worst critic.

Maranfilms: I had found your thread, but by the time I looked, you had deleted the body of the post.

Snowleopard: I am old enough to know better, and young enough to do it anyway. :tongue: LOL. 41
 
Doc, You are getting tired of struggling and clawing your way uphill . I understand perfectly what you are going through... I am just coming out off a depression myself. As filmmakers, we cannot lose sight of the hilltop visualize it and only focus on our success and future successes.. Don't focus on the setbacks they will come now and then.
 
You reached out, and people respond. You have made an impression on folks, and one that people remember.

the amount of attention you get on the internet is directly proportional to how crazy you are. unless you are a woman, then it is inversely proportional to how much clothing you wear.
 
(1) Billionaire Richard Branson says the secret to a good life is to not look back, but focus on the next thing you're going to do.

(2) Psychologists have known for a while that how we feel is governed by what we focus on. Focus on something else.

Just remember, life is not like a box of chocolates...

Life is like a 5D- focus, Focus, FOCUS!!!
:happy:
 
For God's sake, I have worked with Martin Scorsese, and was the mix engineer on the very first live Facebook stream. Another film I supplied all weapons on and did a bit of acting on just won "Best Arizona Short Film" at the Phoenix Film Festival.

This reminds me of an old saying that always sits in the back of my mind: "You're only as good as your last shoot". (or something like that)

Sounds like you need a new project to get you motivated. Is there anything on the horizon? Hey, do the forklift thing to pay the bills…no shame in making $$. I'm just wondering if you will be involved with any films/video projects or whatever in the near future. Don't lose sight of what makes you happy.
 
A few potential things. Producing a webseries done in the format of TV. Crime drama. A couple other shorts. Other than that....not much.
 
To Doc, it sounds like, with your list of accomplishments/credits in film/video, that if you're struggling for work, you suffer from Josh Bass syndrome--that is, being terrible at self-promotion and networking. I understand and I hate it too. Since every single production company everywhere has "we're the best choice to tell your story, to execute your vision, blah blah blah" as part of their promo material on their site, it seems incredibly silly for me to say stuff like that. I have a friend I work with frequently who is a brilliant and aggressive self-promoter/networker. True story-- he's eating dinner in a restaurant. Sees woman with "blah blah blah Dance Team" jacket at another table. Approaches her and says "hey, looks like you coach a dance team. I just want to let you know I can shoot and edit videos of those performances etc. etc. etc." BAM, lands a client. Unbelievable. I could never. On those rare occasions I HAVE handed out a biz card or put myself out there, it's NEVER amounted to anything. All my work comes from a few core clients and random people finding me God-knows-how through the web (I do have ads up on a number of free sites).
 
LOL, nice to know there is a name for it. Yep, I have that. Don't get me wrong, I can schmooze like the best of them at parties and gatherings (funny story here about my first black tie event), but I always talk about what other people are doing, and I have gotten so many people gigs.

I just have a problem getting them for myself. I am always afraid that if I even hint about some of the things I have done, people will not believe me. I mean, I have been on the opposite side, someone told me this and that, I do a little research......nope, they were blowing smoke.

And frankly, I don't want people to come away thinking that I am a braggart. That is the last thing I want people to think. Yeah, I HAVE done a lot and seen a lot. But I am no better or worse person than the next guy. I just got put in unique situations. LOL, that and I was a serious adrenaline junkie (got that a little under control now).

The funny thing is.......I have had to revise my bucket list several times now. I keep crossing things off and having to add new stuff.

One of these days.....I have to write a book of my memoirs. LOL, have no idea the title yet. But it might be fun and cathartic at the same time. Once it is finished......I can cross the last item off my current list off. "Write a book."

The funny thing is.....I am attempting to write a different book, too. Guess you can tell.......I am A.D.D.
 
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Your work is mostly in the film/TV world right? As opposed to non-glamorous corporate video, webcasts, live events (AV type work), yes? I ask 'cause at least in Houston, there seem to be different "circles" of production folk. I always end up on gigs with the same groups of people, it seems like, only very occasionally meeting new people. I've been to a few industry things and while I see those same people there, I also see a bunch of people I didn't know existed but I learn are (relatively) successful ACs, ADs, DPs, etc. My point is, the more of those circles you are connected with, probably the better. Have you tried climbing aboard the corporate video express (more for your audio work than your weapons expertise, I would think). Should be a lot of it. And better funded too, I'd imagine. There's also no shame in listing yourself everywhere (websites, production directories, crew services like Crews Control) you can if it's free.

As an audio guy you do have it rougher in some ways 'cause many people don't THINK they need an audio guy. They think the camera guy can do it.
 
Snowleopard: I am old enough to know better, and young enough to do it anyway. :tongue: LOL. 41

I'm ignoring the scale of relative comparison, which is something you do not do when trying to cheer someone up, but as one who is nearly ten years older than you, I hope you can swallow this.

I went from being very fit, very alive, financially stable and in the black, traveling the world and active in the local film/video scene both as a career and for fun. Now, I have almost nothing. I watched both of my parents die and all of their life's savings go to health care costs, leaving me next to nothing. I absorbed other people's debt, other people's problems and bills, trying to keep others from falling off the edge. I was sick of the world where people scratch each others eyes out to get ahead, and was going to be the one guy who does the right thing. But it cost me. It cost me tens of thousands of dollars. More. And more in headaches. I try to remind myself that I at least have a job, food on my table, and sleep in a warm bed. And maybe over the years I did the right thing even though I got so little in return. But when being brutally honest with myself at my core I can't logically stop myself from being bitter, from regretting choices I made and lament some of the things that happened to me.

So, as the old saying goes, a wise man learns from his mistakes, but a wiser man learns from the mistakes of others, I hope you can learn from me in the next decade in your life. And I'll let you take that for how you interpret it whatever choices you make.

rant/]
 
Brother, I hear you. Regrets.....those I have in spades. But I look at it as "there is nothing I can do about it now". Hell, I had a Military Academy (WP, Annapolis) appointment at my feet when I was 17. My grandparents were seriously connected politically. They offered it to me.....and I passed on it. But that decision was made. Nothing I can do about that now.
 
I came across this article a while ago and I feel like it fits here.

Top five regrets of the dying
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I believe when we die that's it. There's no afterlife where we get punished/rewarded for our actions and there is no second chance to undo perceived mistakes (I say perceived because you never know if the choice you didn't make would've been disastrous compared to the choice you did make). The only true control we have is to be true to ourselves.

Snow, for example, let's say you decided to 'play the game' and everything still went to s*%t. In that situation, IMO, you lose everything. Not only are you broke but you would've compromised your morals and yourself in the process. Maybe that doesn't mean much to some people but it does to me. If I crash and burn I want it to be on my terms. Integrity and honesty mean a lot to me and that's something that no one and no situation can take from me. If doing right by people means I'll hit a glass ceiling in this world so be it. I'd rather hit a glass ceiling and be comfortable with myself as a human being than sell my soul chasing fame and fortune.

Snow and Doc, both you guys have some years on me and I haven't seen the same level of s*%t you guys have but reality has knocked me on my ass more than once in my life to let me know who's boss (and I'm sure it will again). 3yrs out of college LA had chewed me up and spit me out (literally not a penny to my name), I had been unemployed more often than not, I'd been laid off from the one good job I had and I was living off my credit cards while trying to land BS retail jobs . Another highlight of course was when I qualified for food stamps and that was just job related crap. On the personal side I had a close friend commit suicide, three deaths in the family and a long term relationship disintegrate into almost nothing. Yeah, not exactly how I pictured life after college.

Eventually I got things turned around, fixed the long term relationship, moved back to LA (I am nothing if not stubborn) and have been working steadily ever since (knock on wood). I've taken some risks (ex. passed up better paying gigs to go after my dreams) and hopefully those choices pan out. If they don't I know there will always be days I think 'what if...' and I'm okay with that. I'd rather swing for the fences and strike out than never have the courage to get up to the plate.


-Andrew
 
I know what you mean Doc... I've worked on 9 films as a producer or line producer... small indies that have been released by Universal, Sony and now Lionsgate... hopefully we're moving up tp the big screen this year...

Like you I never really brag about myself... and then moving to the midwest out of LA because I always wanted to live on a farm... I find it hard to relate to a lot of people who want to make movies back here... I have a found a few people who have the skills and just haven't had that chance to move up to a bigger production because they live in a smaller market... but many make no budget films that I'm not trying to be mean... but won't see the light of day... bad coverage... poor acting... no lighting... terrible sound... or scripts that 2 drafts and people think its ready to shoot... so on and so on...

Then always comes the dreaded meeting... would I produce their next movie or really will you fund it... got yelled at because I told one person... who didn't even have a finished script why should I fund your film when myself I'm looking for funding to finally step out and direct my own film... again I wasn't trying to be mean.. but wanted a simple reason for why... or the last offer... can you line produce my movie... the person needs a letter of interest from me in 2 days... got the script... it wasn't bad... not my cup of tea (never been into bathroom humor)... left messages with the guy before the 2 days where up... never heard back... found out through a friend back here... all he wanted was the letter of interest because I guess the person he was talking to about funding his film wanted someone involved who had made and sold films before he'd lay out any money...

Sorry about the rant... but its like that old saying I feel your pain Doc and I can relate to what your going through... just keep plugging away... even writing this has helped me to be not so frustrated about things tonight... so thanks Doc for your post...
 
Keep your chin up. So long as you have your health, you're a lucky man indeed. There's still time to climb the next peak. In the meantime, here is the latest joke that made me laugh.
Two nuns are driving through the Romanian countryside when suddenly a vampire lands on the hood of their car. The nun in the passenger seat yells "Quick, show him your cross". So the nun in the drivers seat sticks her head out the window and yells "Get the **** of my car you bastard!"
 
Not to bring up cliches, but you are judged by where you have been and not where you intend to be. Every journey becomes an accomplishment and it appears you have been extremely successful with many accomplishments, and there will always other opportunities coming your way because you have the experience behind you. Regardless of the people you have worked with, the projects themselves were born, and you were apart of that, and that is the most important accomplishment and no small one either.

Oh and I did not understand Gord's jokes at all. But I will leave a tip because I am nice.
 
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