Another Short Film

rhandomskate

rhandomskate

Active member
Had to make a short for class involving crossing a road, so i took a more litteral approach hence the X of duct tape. Tried to do something a little more unique involving the unexpected dropping of the anvil wile e coyote style. I'm just looking to make sure the plot was clear enough, and if the acting was alright. We were originally supposed to shoot this entirely during daytime, but do to some problems with the police we had to cut out key shots and scenes, and had to deal with some night footage, which came out alright, but could have looked better had we planned it that way. (still having problems with the deinterlacing. Just kind of look past that if you can, I'm never using premiere again)

http://vimeo.com/1970595?pg=embed&sec=1970595
 
So the assignment was to make a film with someone crossing the road huh?

You told a nice story with some nice cinematography.

Was it suppose to be a silent short? What other requirements were you told to do by your teacher?

It had a nice comedic twist, but the ending was a little disappointing.

I would have the thought that rig he set up would get the wallet back, in a more home a lone stylish way.

This is on DVX? 24p? I saw some interlacing, be careful for that.

Some of the shots bugged me, but over all I liked the imagery you produced.

Lighting was good, but natural lighting is always nice.

I like the cover shot of the close up for the wallet snatch, that looks like it turned out nicely. THe music fit well to.

Have you handed this in yet?

The plot was indeed clear, and the acting was good to. (Although hard to tell since there isn't any dialog. Mostly just walking shots.)

I'm not in college, (or is this for high school?), but I don't see why you wouldn't get get a low mark.

Good piece,

Robbie
 
Liked a lot of the shots. Did you use a dolly of some kind?

Maybe edit so that we see him crossing the street a little longer before cutting to the next shot. Also wasn't sure about the overhead of the box truck driving by. Maybe clean up some of the parts where the rigging is taking place?

I was impressed with some of the camera motions and positioning.
 
Thanks. It was actually shot in 60i... that's why i was so stumped on the interlacing, even after I deinterlaced it.

Robbie,
Yes, we were not allowed to use any dialogue. No other requirements, just to make it based off of the "cross the road assignment." We went with the literal approach to stir things up a bit. I already talked to him before we made this to make sure this unorthadox approach was alright, and he liked the idea.

as for the ending, yes we had a lot more in the script, but like i said, it got dark, and we had planned on shooting this all during the day, and that day was the only time we had to shoot, so we had to cut it short and keep it simple. We figured dropping an anvil on him was spontaneous and random enough, that we didn't really find it necessary to build some more on the ending.

As for the shots, thank you very much, i tried to get as creative as possible, but which shots bugged you the most? I'm curious and would definitely like to know what people think so i can work around it and prevent those shots in my next work.

Loneman, Thanks, and yes I did use a dolly.
What do you mean edit so that you can see him crossing the road a little longer before cutting to the next shot? You may be confusing the actual idea of him physically walking across the road, with the idea we used in this of him "crossing the road." That's why i didn't want to focus too much on him actually walking across the street, so people wouldn't focus on that too much and get confused. Also what do you mean by clean up some of the parts where the rigging is taking place? I'm a little confused by what you mean here, do you mean clean up the actual footage quality, or cut out some of the shots?

Thanks again for the crit, definitely leaves me with some ideas to take into consideration. :)
 
Wow it didn't look like 60i to me!

The reason why I said to have a longer shot (maybe 1-2 secs) is cuz it cuts as soon as he steps off the sidewalk then when we come back to him, he's already walking down the sidewalk on the other side. Maybe edit it so that he doesnt all of a sudden appear a lot further from when we last see him. Maybe it's just me- hopefully others will jump in on this.

As for the rigging part, whats with the blacked out corners? Did you do that on purpose? I'd make the tie down straps look like there was tension on it to make it look like there is something heavy out of the picture. I think you did a great job otherwise. What kind of dolly did you use?
 
awesome. thanks for the crit. I'll take these into consideration next time. As for the corners, yeah it's just a kind of vignetting i've been doing, I like it, some people like it, some people hate it, but whatever, I think it adds to it. Good thoughts on the tie down straps, didn't even think about that. I used a homemade dolly out of scraps of metal and wheels i had around the house.
 
aight i watched this twice. first off i hate it!..lol...just kidding i liked it :D....luved some of the shots eg.(1.02) dolly shot with leaves in foreground.. I agree with loneman about seeing him just stepping off the sidewalk and cut to him walking down the street...i kinda was like "huh?" for a quick sec. if i saw him just stepping back unto the sidewalk on the otherside it woudn't be so..."huh"... which would still maintain your idea of not wanting people to focus on the actual crossing.

i'm kinda nitpicky so i was like how did dude know when this other guy was gonna come back around...they didn't know each other or each other;s routine. he just RANDOMLY knew dude was gonna be there and attracked to the "X".And that theif was highly skilled...din't even see the guy coming bumped into him and bam...wallet gone. lol...anyway thats just me being me.

I agree with some1 else (duno who) that said the shot of the truck just didn't quite fit. Anyway that said.....

it was well shot IMO...good job liked it:thumbup:...
oh and i luved the shot..ahm..lemmi see if i remember it ...the transition when he first went on the roof...the tilt and pan right into the pan right of him on the roof, only thing is instead of just cutting it...u could have faded them into each other for a smoother transition.
 
Last edited:
yeah it was 60i.. actually i think the first couple clips might be 24pa... but after those shots i forgot to save my scene file settings, so i shot the rest of it in 60i without even realizing it.
 
Last edited:
jambredz said:
i'm kinda nitpicky so i was like how did dude know when this other guy was gonna come back around...they didn't know each other or each other;s routine. he just RANDOMLY knew dude was gonna be there and attracked to the "X".And that theif was highly skilled...din't even see the guy coming bumped into him and bam...wallet gone. lol...anyway thats just me being me. .
Click to expand...

For some strange reason, I had the impression that someone else that was involved in the theft was up on the roof signaling the thief to make his move.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top