Another Day - a film by Kyle Stebbins

Kyle, I enjoyed watching your movie. I liked the washed out look you came up with. You need to minimize the bright windows you shoot against so as not to blow out your scene. In this type of piece, you really need to give me someone to like. I'm not sure I liked anyone in the piece. The kid was a decent actor but somehow, the mother didn't quite come off as real. I would have liked to know how the father died, since you set us up for that. I would have also liked to seen the kid actually talking the dialogue that was voiced over at the cemetery. It's okay for the VO before and after the cemetery but I'd have liked to see him talking to his father when we saw him.

All in all, you did a good job on this and I'll look forward to future projects you do. :thumbsup:
 
REVIEW: ANOTHER DAY

Had a good message, timeless. Pretty good visuals, sense o'direction.

I think that there wasn't time spent in developing an actual story as opposed to a snippet of life of the family right after death. I also think that the characters suffered from the lack of motivation. Where was this six minutes going? I honestly thought that I would see some kind of problem arise between mother and child, and then see that resolved by the end. Even something so cliche as over-the-father's-grave would've been satisfying.

I just needed something to go along with the strong sense of direction. Speaking of which, you got-a lot-a good shots going on, Stebbins. I liked the camera pan at the kitchen table. What happened right after made my eyes cross, and not because I'm a tech nerd or anything, but because it felt off and I didn't realize WHY until the second watch. You walked right across the line and put the mother on the wrong side of the table. It felt awkward after that.

And I know that it was your choice in framing, it felt kind of weird when the mother's head was kind of cut off during the band-aid exposition. I was kind of scared, and wanted to push the frame down a little so I'd feel better.

Serious subject, the death thing. I know I write alot about death, so it makes me feel better than I'm not the only writer worried about such a thing.

Thanks for showing, Stebbins. By the way, you had decent sound going on!
 
Man, I just watched all 46 movies and I'm tired.... okay for now I'm just going to say I liked it. I'm going to rewatch it later and then give you a better review, I think I'll sleep for a bit first tough.

I have to ask, will there will be a longer cut?
 
Kyle and friends:

STEBS!!!! Hey man, good job on finishing a film. I must admit that after looking at some of your screen grabs, I thought the film might have problems with the actor over-acting. I was glad when I saw that the acting was actually pretty decent. I DO think that the film was losing my interest near the end you must remember that windows are your worst enemy.

There was also a point where you crossed the line pretty hardcore, when the guy is sitting down talking with his mom in the kitchen.

I know you guys are going to get better so hurry up and get your asses out here.

tim.
 
Kyle! Well, I gave the honor of the first film I watched to YOU!

Nice job!

I really like the concept and story that you have. I found it moving. I especially like when the son "talking" to his father when he is going off to his new job.

The relationship between the son and mother is strong. I can feel the tension there.

I am curious if this story is about the fact that the son can't cry. I felt that it was but I didn't feel that it delivered there. I really would have liked to see the son breakdown and cry at the end. I felt that he needed to. I felt it in the scene but I didn't see it in the scene. I was left wondering if he ever did cry for his father.

I do feel that this is a story about how the son "deals" with the loss of his father. I like the way that you handle this story. Another observation that I would like to share is that I would like to have the first scene (after the titles) be a shot of the son looking over some sentimental object of his father and then the explosion between the mom and son. That's just my thought.

And speaking of the tiltes, I thought that they were clever. And I especially loved the "Another Day" reveal. I would like to just point out that as "neat" it is to have the titles on the headstone, I felt that it diminished some of the power of the headstone. To me, the headstone is a "main character" here and not just a bill board. But that is just my opinion. More inportantly with the opening shots, I felt that the mother at the stone need more headroom. ESPECIALLY when she looks up to see her son. What I would have loved here is a CU on her with tears down her face and then a CU on the son with his "dry eyes."

I thought that the actors did a nice job.

Great job, Kyle. Your film has a nice pacing and kept my attention.

-Ted
 
I appreciate all the critiques!!

Ted - you really gave me something to think about with the headstone. the more i think about it, the more i realize you are so right. the headstone WAS a major character... and it was wrong of me to put the titles on it. i guess i just so badly wanted to give my titles an edge that i completely overlooked that. thanks for pointing that out. i also appreciate being your first watch ;)

The framing was off because at the last minute I wanted to branch out of the full-size ratio and come as close to 2.35:1 that i could. needless to say, i chopped too much off and when alex came into the room, minutes before the deadline, he pointed it out to me. by that time it was too late! :(

The blown out window was merely the product of adjusting the exposure for the actors. I found it to be particularly beautiful, however, it's a subjective topic. The natural light that flooded in from the window really cast a wonderful, soft, luminance on my subjects and I couldn't resist from keeping it all in the scene. Comments duly noted, however, as it was distraction and, i won't lie, it looked like they were in the middle of a raging blizzard. so thanks for pointing that out blaine! =)

As for crossing the line at the dinner table. I shot the scene with a dolly movement up to the table and ended up cutting that portion of the clip in post. I originally did not want to show the mother speaking in that take but it just felt so natural. After that I jumped ahead to the next shot and, without alex (my a.d.) by my side, made the decision to shoot over the wrong shoulder. We quickly became aware of this but had little time to reshoot. I'm really glad that you noticed it though. It's what makes all of us better filmmakers.

Thanks for the critiques everyone... please keep them coming.
-Kyle
 
Kyle, nice job on your entry. I liked some of the shots and could really feel the tension between the mother/son.
 
Dialogue levels in the alleyway were off and…

Ahh, I can’t review this technically. Even though it wasn’t technically that great, it was moving for me…probably because it hit home personally.

Seriously, good job, Kyle.

I’m sure other will give you better tech advice. Thanks for the film. If a film makers job is to move people, you did yours (at least with me)


PS –tell that Adrian Brody dude to keep at it. I enjoyed his performance.




:beer:
 
Well done Kyle on getting another entry into a fest. I still have another day to shoot :p

This story could have been so much more. I just didnt feel it went very far. A family dealing with death and nothing seemed resolved.

Overall the sound quality was good, except the shot with the girl it droppd of a bit there and was a bit lost.

The actors came up pretty well, strangely enough I felt their performances were much better when more was being asked of them - as Rebecca said I felt the tension. For example when he said "dont be sorry" at breakfast, then his next line - felt a bit weak to me. The voice over didnt seem to work for me. Take a look at Neil rowes piece - he nailed the voiceover.

Not sure how you framed this but the final at 2:35 should give some leeway to move your shots up or down in post and reframe them. Sometimes it was a bit off, like chins cut off. When the Mom was on the ground and he was looking down, I felt the shot was an indecision about including some of his head and keeping her in picture, so I wasnt sure where to look, though my brain was telling me I should look at her and I want to see her face, but he is distracting me, because if I could just get a bit more of a view of him then..... not a great explanation, sorry.

Lighting was pretty flat for the most part.

Well done again on a finished project.
 
another good storyline, although some of the dialogue was lost with the music, great when they were reminiscing about the 'good times', a real choker.
Thank you.
 
I liked your film. I thought 'Eric' did a really good job with his role. I think the best scene is the cemetery scene; good composition :)

Also, just my personal thought, but I think the scene between Eric and his mother would have felt better cinematically if it were handheld. I don't know exactly why...maybe it has something to do with the subject matter they're discussing. Just my 2 cents.
 
Geoff_R said:
Also, just my personal thought, but I think the scene between Eric and his mother would have felt better cinematically if it were handheld. I don't know exactly why...maybe it has something to do with the subject matter they're discussing. Just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...

Thats it Geoff, and I know not everyone will agree, but I was wondering what could make it more real for me, I think that could have really worked.
 
Very genuine dialogue writing and genuine performances from the actors. This film has my favorite character performances so far; I think it's because they all felt alive and dynamic to me.
 
Thanks geoff and fatbird...

handheld would have worked beautifully. you are right. -- my horrorfest entry was virtually ALL handheld so i wanted to try taking a different approach. that's no excuse, though.

very much appreciated. thank you so much!!
 
Kyle-man,

Been meaning to write but have been taking meetings involving our giant robots-with-babes-in-lingerie movie. You gotta come out for that one. Anyway, I wanted to give you kudos for the film. I wish I had been as ambitious for filmmaking at your age. You are developing such great skills and I'm proud to know you.

I thought your actors were great and that you pulled some good performances. You got a great score from Herman and you guys should be way proud of what you pulled off.

From a critique side, I was sensitive to the daylight interiors and how badly the windows blow out the scene because Kevin has been schooling me on such matters. For a dramatic note like this I think you should have considered shooting at night to get control over the lighting and avoid the problem. You may have commented on this but I haven't been all through your thread yet.

I also think you could have done some stuff set dressing wise that would have been helpful. I realize you were going for a come-as-you-are reality look, but there's so much that can be added if you think about your backgrounds. My thoughts, anyway.

You're a prodigy and Alex is an equally daunting savante. Please plan on coming out to Cali this summer, ok?
 
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