SHORT: Afterschool; Cool. A refreshing comedy.

the framing looks a bit "standard".... Like what people always do.


But I do sound...so I don't know a lot of framing :Drogar-Kriz(DBG): :-HeadPhones(D:-Laugh(DBG):

Anyway... maybe some close ups. And dare to do things that no-one dares to do.. Upside down, angled, very close, using mirrors, extreme oversholder....
 
You seem new, but I'll give you my crit anyways.

How's this color corrected exactly? Upon first look, at the cut of 45 secs we go from shot reverse, the same room, same time, yet the colors are completely different. One is warm, the other cool.

First impressions -

CC is a bit much. Why such crazy colors? Why not try CCing it to natural colors? Sometimes it works better. Like with everything in film, there has to be a reason for the colors.

No tripod? Everything is shaky shaky shaky. When the actors pass by there's extra shake even. It's not even a smooth handheld hollywood look. It's just nausiating and unmotivated.

What is with the constant wierd dutch (not even) angles? They're all just slightly tilted to the left, like if your cameraman was always holding it, and his left leg was slightly shorter than the right and never learned to compensate.

The shots are very very very basic. No thought behind them, and no coverage. It's not about going crazy with angles, it's about using them properly.

Wide shot to establish scene, subject 1 talks, cut to medium subject 1, subject 2 cuts him off, cut to subject 2, tense moment cut to wide, subject 1 says something very serious, tight CU on subject 1.

It's about pacing, it's about coverage, it's about moving a scene with cuts. The way you're doing it is safe and fast, with 2 shots and hardly any coverage.

The sound is really bad. Was there any external mic? It was tough to try and listen to them. Honestly, a lot of this turned me off, especially the length. If I'm just watching two "friends of the filmmaker" talking for 10 minutes, it has to have something to hold me.

Final thoughts:

Keep working at it. Be sure to study a lot and learn from other films. Start noting how they cut scenes together, and how many angles and shots they have in a scene.

Also keep something in mind. EVERYTHING has a motivation. Why cut to a close up vs a medium shot? Why a two shot rather than a 1? Why dutch vs regular? Why handheld vs static? Why warm tones? Why cool tones? What does it say about the character, scene, story?

Keep working at it.
 
I agree with Jon. Sound was bad. But I think that comes because people think sound is captured as good as image... Because as a human when you see someone talk, it's normal you hear him also (in real life, standing 1 feet next to you).

The editing is also bad.... a lot of jump cuts. between 01:05 en 01:07. It' very strange to see people suddenly in an other position. Even if you would cut to a close up of the other guy first.

And strange thing is: if someone is eating spaghetti a full plate, you cut to a total different room (so different scene, scene is indication of time and place) and then back to the guy eating spaghetti but now he's watching TV.... that's accepted. But cutting to something else in the same room....it would be weirder.

For the sound it's like always: disturbing sounds like heaters, coolers, machines....

The acting is better I think....
 
What's up with the really odd "color" shifts?

Also, if you're going to dutch...you should dutch...don't "half dutch"
 
I'm not gonna repeat what others said.
Time continuity is often not respected. Although it doesn't always need to be respected in movies, there has to be a reason.I'll focus on when the actor sticks the poo poo you sign under that dude. You see him and hear him stick it onto the wall, with the CU on the picture, then you see him and hear him again doing the same thing from an other shot. And then instead of cutting to his friend( around 1.50) when he starts talking you keep the focus on this dude, who we don't really care to see. In a conversation just really think about where the focus is. It'll help you with the selection of shots.

But hey everybody needs a first short,and everybody who learns through trial and error, rather than trying to getting it all right at once, will have a crappy first short.
No one man crew, will just be born great at making films.


Oh and the jumpy shot at 2.26 is BAD

Also It's kinda long. The story could have been more captivitating if shorter. This was like, not a 10minute story I don't think
 
aifilmmaker said:
The weird color shifts happened because in some of the shots I forgot to switch my camera to manual mode (Yeah, I know) therefore the white balance just randomly changed in the middle of the shot/ in different shots.
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That explains it, but isn't really an excuse. If it happened you should have done another take, or taken one of your other takes. In fact you should have so much coverage that this wouldn't be an issue. You can also color correct and slide the correction to another one when it happened in post. A lot of the problems in the film seem to be really simple avoidable mistakes. But since you're in high school... Just keep this in mind for the future, really make sure everything works properly and if a shot doesn't work, you do it again. If you're mic is being fixed, don't shoot, wait for it to come back. Nothing hurts a film more than poor sound. Sound is 70% of the image.

I remember going near the end of the film and there was a good chunk out of focus, not just slightly but EXTREMELY out of focus. Why did you use that shot? Did you really have nothing else and no way to cut it out?
 
aifilmmaker said:
Thanks for the input. I'm working on a feature this Summer, and I intend to send it to a big chunk of film festivals, so I'll really have to buckle down, reshoot shots, ect, if there's something wrong with them.

The out of focus shots at the end were a failed artistic sort of attempt. Notice: during their fight the shot was out of focus. When it winded down, it faded to a regular shot.


More critiscm and input, people?
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Yes, but it didn't work... Out of focus is 99% of the time done if it's a POV (point of view) of someone who's unconscious and "waking up".
 
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