Advice for Action/Drama...

S

SE7

Well-known member
Hey guys. I was wondering if anyone had any advice for my new script idea.

Right now, it's kind of cliched, so I was wondering if I could get some help into making it into a (hopefully) good, suspenseful film!

So here's the idea: "A man races against time (and the police) as he tries to steal a medicine that will hopefully cure his dying wife. He has only minutes, so he does everything in his will to save his wife's life, even if it means his own life."

Yeah, yeah... "Oh no! Another cliched action/drama flick?" So I will need some help, opinions, advice, criticisms, etcetera to make it better.

It will be a very short (10-15 minutes long) film, but I want to trick the audience into thinking he's a "bad" guy running away from the police, and then at the end of the film show everyone why he was doing what he did (to save his wife).

Thanks in advance for any help.

Sincerely,
Colin Worley
 
SE7 said:
It will be a very short (10-15 minutes long) film, but I want to trick the audience into thinking he's a "bad" guy running away from the police, and then at the end of the film show everyone why he was doing what he did (to save his wife).
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sounds like you want someone to write the twist for your concept/script. that's the creative part of writing and it's up to you how you deliver it.

advice: try starting from the end of the movie and work backwards. it's easier to get to the end if you know which direction you're going.

the concept sounds like an episode of 24, but a unique twist could make it hot....but' that's your job.
 
... while he is running through the streets we see the man knocking over old ladies and baby buggies. This always makes someone look like a bad guy.

Ending twist: Once his wife receives the medicine she reveals that she is leaving him for one of the cops that is trying to put him behind bars.

Twist twist: That cop is a woman and he was set up.

Twist twist twist: She is pregnant with her baby.
:thumbup:

(disclaimer: not a joke)
 
LOL! I think you guys are right... I'm just a wee bit stuck. Thanks for the "help" though! :))

-Colin
 
Hey Mickey, how do I start from the end and work to the beginning if I can't figure out an ending?
 
stinkpot said:
artificial insemination by turkey baster... but the audience never "sees" the turkey baster.
:banned:
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I suggest shooting a turkey baster sex scene though. Just to have it, you can decide later if you're going to use it. Error on the side of safety.

And remember to put a condom on the turkey baster. SDT's are no laughing matter.
 
You know what I'd like to see is a Jewel of the nile kind of thing....
He has to break this guy out of jail who he thinks has the cure
when in fact he is the cure....

Now for the turkey baster.... early on you need a set up shot of him opening a kitchen drawer and you see the turkey baster... the audiance will imediatley wonder is that thing loaded... and when the twist is revealed later on it will give them all an aha moment...

Just throwing some crap in the wind
Let's see what sticks
 
Hi Colin,

Try thinking of ways to juxtapose the antagonist/protagonist roles. If you're not familiar with the plot, search the internet for the Sandman's role in Spinderman - this is your story, albeit the Sandman is saving his daughter's life, ultimately at the expense of Spiderman's father. In turn, Spiderman has latent anger/hate for his father's killer, accentuated by a meteor that brings out the dark side of the force... Anyway, you get the idea - try developing the plot on interesting triads where you can add irony, plot reversals, etc.

Enjoy, Michael

PS - and as for the turkey basting, let's see, "Tell Me You Love Me" comes on HBO this evening...
 
SE7 said:
Hey Mickey, how do I start from the end and work to the beginning if I can't figure out an ending?
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thas the hard part. if you write the story out without an ending in mind then you're going to be in the same dilema once you get to the final pages - with no ending. if you come up with an ending first you can then start from the beginning with an ending in mind and you'll be amazed at how the pages will just come out of nowhere for you.

try coming up with the most typical ending just so you can have "something" to go on. then switch it up. i read about some famous novelist who said she always wrote down 3 to 5 things she felt like the reader would expect and she would spend time doing something that was the opposite.

like legend said above, with the jewel of the nile twist is a great example.

the sixth sense, the boy can see dead people that dont know they're dead, bruce willis is the main character trying to help him, turns out ......well, you know the ending. sont want to spoil it for anyone.

think of some of your favorite movies that have a twist ending and examine those endings. regardless if you come up with the ending first or last, you still have to come up with one. at least if you do that first then once you're writing you will be able to foreshadow things a lot better because YOU know the ending as you're writing.

works for me. i love writing mystery or adding mystery to my stuff.
 
Mickey Munday said:
thas the hard part. if you write the story out without an ending in mind then you're going to be in the same dilema once you get to the final pages - with no ending. if you come up with an ending first you can then start from the beginning with an ending in mind and you'll be amazed at how the pages will just come out of nowhere for you.
.
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Ideally you want to know you beginning middle and end before you start writing. However it's really a matter of individual style. Do whatever works for you. Some people just start writing and win oscars for their work. It just depends. Personally I'm better when I use an outline. YMMV.
 
I think everybody writes differently. I'm finishing up a big action/thriller script right now, right about to start Act III and it's mostly a big blob to me as I haven't thought TOO much about it. This whole one I wrote as a series of 6 comic books and basically outlined each book as I got to it, wrote the first little bit and then outlined in more detail before finishing. It's been pretty effective, but really, whatever gets the words on to paper.

I wrote a whole feature then went and rewrote the whole ending because it wasn't working. But if you're doing a twist, it's best to know what you want to twist so that you can move in the opposite direction beforehand.
 
Thanks alot guys! That was a huge help! I like that idea Mickey heard of... write a few things down the reader (audience) would expect, and do just the opposite. Inspirational!

Thanks again,
-CWorley
 
good luck man. happy to pass on any informationthat might be helpful to fellow filmmakers. thas how it should be. in the end, like some people are saying, it's up to you to find out what works. you may change your style up every project depending on how you feel. :thumbsup:
 
Make a list of interesting medicines he needs to steal for the wife that would seem like they were for something else (top secret lab virus cure, money, statue, pet) . How is she sick that could be a twist at the end? Maybe she got bit by his secret pet CG alien, illegal snake or was exposed to his lab virus by mistake and the only cure is something he could not buy but has to steal like a rare flower, top secret lab medicine or the neighbor's exotic fish. So if you choose the lab idea you show him looking like he is stealing a virus then he gets home and we see the cause of illness (surprise) and he gives medicine to the wife who lives then tells him she is leaving him for another man. Then he dies from his chase scene injuries at her feet or she kills him in unexpected way. Then we see the wife planned the whole thing to get rid of her husband or get the medicine for something else or her secret lover.

To do a good ending look at your plot goal going negative or positive then see how you can flip it back and forth at the climax several times from + to - to + to twist to twist ending.

Here is a link to a movie with over 60 plot twist ideas to get you going:

http://www.mindseyemedia.com/Steps/step15.html

Think also of making the characters really interesting and original to avoid cliche situations. Good luck!
 
Yeah, aside from executing the idea in the best possible way utlizing structure and tension (which comes from experience reading and writing scripts), I find that the best stories have details. A lot of short films are boring and cliched because there is nothing new, unique, or interesting.

Right now, your story seems to be at the final draft of a lot of boring short films, and its awesome that you're looking past that. Many people would just make the action movie now, as is, generic guy gets in a generic action situation (oh nos running from the police). It happens in short films a lot because there simply isn't time to set up numerous unique characters and situations.

For example, a guy wants to avenge his dead wife by killing her killer. Boring. But wait, the guy has short term memory loss. Okay... But wait, the people around him may or may not know about his condition and he doesn't know who to trust. AND, the movie runs backwards in chronology. We just went from ho-hum mediocre thriller to Memento, which many people think is a classic.

Just add details. Keep on adding interesting details until you're satisfied.
 
Wow thanks alot guys! These are some brilliant ideas that really helped get the creativity flowing! I'm going to spend a lot of time on this script to allow it to reach its full potential.

All the thoughts you guys have gave me really helped, and I appreciate the time to read and respond to my post! Thanks again!

Long live DVXUser!

Sincerely,
CWorley
 
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