Adventure comedy series pilot

To be honest. You lost me after the opening sequence. Although i continued to watch. Then noticed you took the time to create this set that is all trashed by Rusty, but didnt show it in too many of the interior shots. I would have shown more of that stuff before you introduced him eating the fortune cookies. Also you shot Jake against a blank wall with a picture hanging, rather than the set you took time to dress. Would have been cool to continue that voice over in the beg. as well, along with the cultural music in the beg.

I was totally lost during the storyboard section.

The opening sequence captured me though.

Mind if I ask what your settings were for that opening sequence?
 
I was expecting it to be more serious then funny but it was actually pretty good. Good job and nice story boards.
 
Hey, I thought that was pretty good. Your actors are great. Need to work on that worklight looking lighting. The content is there. Reminds me of We Need Girlfriends. Keep at it and keep us posted.
 
To give you guys a little background on the project, I shouldn't have outright called this a pilot because it was never meant to be a representative of our show when we originally shot it.

After writing the pilot script and fleshing out a storyline for the first season and some of the second, we decided it might be a good idea to shoot some of the cheaper to produce scenes and do some storyboarding to show a potential pitchee our writing in action.

We ended up putting together a 27 page pitch package with demographic and market research and all kinds of other info for a potential investor. Included would be the DVD with my DP reel and the scenes we shot for the package.

The scenes were also the first thing my writing/producing partner and I ever personally produced, wrote, directed, and shot. I decided to stress less the style of shooting, and more concentrate on learning to deal with actors. It was an exercise in directing more than shooting, which I felt my reel would show I was highly capable of.

A couple weeks ago, a friend notified me of a myspace contest where they were looking for TV series concepts for a FOX development deal and $25,000.

I was in the middle of finishing the 6th script in a film slate we're sending out to investors, and decided "what the hell" and took some time off to take a second look at what we'd cut and make it fit into the 5-7 minute time constrictions.

The storyboards may have lost you because I had to cut out 4 minutes of a 6 minute storyboarded sequence in the city where you slowly realize that the fortunes are coming true, and becoming more directly related to Rusty individually, and less vague and cryptic.

So we decided that without some kind of lead in, because we wouldn't be there to pitch it first, the audience would be playing catch up, and we decided to do some pickup shots almost a year later. These are the opening shots of Jake waking up and the voice over explaining the origin of the cookies. Again, I'd liked to have added more, but time constraints meant we had to keep it moving, and I wasn't particularly interested in investing much time/money. If I win, great, and I I don't, I'm still going to be doing what I'm doing already so no sweat.

Without the pressure of getting everyone together, I just called up the actor and invited him over to my apartment (a different apartment than the one we shot the following scene in), set up my jib and camera, waited for the sun to be just right, and shot a few shots! No working on lines, or stressing over set dressing this time.

I can't exactly remember the settings for the pickups, but they were pretty close to default. I like to do my adjustments in post as much as I can. I think the gamma was set to Cine V, all other settings on cine-like. Master ped -2, I think... I'd have to double check as I haven't shot anything since, so the settings are probably still on the camera.

So, as far as the writing is concerned, I think we've got a strong contestant, although it doesn't satiate the appetite for instant payoff of the youtube/myspace video crowd. Maybe they want a TV series of a dog licking the air for a minute thirty seconds, haha!

I'm mostly interested to know if people find the characters entertaining and the concept to be original and worth their time.

Mind you, this is NOT another room mate story; it becomes a global adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones, with action, intrigue, mystery, romance, revenge, and redemption, with a touch of greek mythology, and a heavy emphasis on comedy. People have said "I can see how the fortune cookie concept would wear thin", but they don't have the imagination to see it as merely a catalyst for incredible situations that life would never yield without the push of the cookies.
 
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