SHORT: about us

it was very difficult to read the text. if you could make it bigger and then add some sort of drop shadow or masked/cropped layer behind the text to make it pop more, that would be a huge improvement. Also, because of the vimeo load screen at the bottom, it blocked the text initially so I thought I was just looking at a blank screen for the first few seconds. Video looked great!
 
I didn't have a problem with the subtitles but jwmemmer's comments are worth bearing in mind. I am pro-SUB/anti-DUB so I don't often have trouble with subtitles (except in the occasional 80s kung fu film white on white). Yellow text with black shadow or outline is the easiest to read (SBS, our local source of international tv doesn't use anything else) and lifts well off the background. Alternatively if it is also going to be seen by native speakers with subtitles then white on black is a better consideration. It isn't as distracting (you tend to find yourself reading even though you can understand) and it also detracts less from the images.

I thought it was pretty good. My biggest issue is that after the scenes of violence, between about 1.20 and 3.10 I would have liked at least half those shots to have been shot a lot closer to the subjects. I mean halve the distance between camera and subject or even closer, let the people fill the frame some. It was nice to go from the crowded close up shots of angry people out to the spacious uncrowded scenes of freedom and happiness with the nice music. Very effective but I think you went too far out. You needed to be a lot closer to them in the bike riding scenes and forest walking etc. Still have your vistas but then go in, personalise your subjects rather than have them be strangers in the distance.

Those scenes with extreme camera movement, flying and spinning were good but I wanted you to come right up to your subjects and get in their faces, show their big smiles fill the frame. The scenes of violence were uncomfortably and effectively close. Instead of going out to such a great distance to release that tension, go to comfortably close rather than distant and impersonal. 3.10 - 3.40 was a lot better in this regard but you could have pushed in even closer in some of these shots. I normally am immune to baby moments but I have to admit 3.30 got through my defences, and a really cool camera movement there too.

The editing and music worked well. The torrent of violent images changed just before it started to lose impact and as mentioned before the idea of being up close in those shots and then backing up into wide open spaces with the change of music was a very effective idea. The build to this moment combined to a very satisfying payoff. I just needed to go back in to a comfortable distance and engage with those people after that moment but the camera held me at arms length. Finally the return to the speech, the final shot was another effective edit point returning to where it started. There was a nice juxtaposition with the images/speech on the tv and the scene in front of it.

Even with my other comments taken into account I thought this was pretty good. A nicely composed edit, some beautiful imagery, a well handled message and powerful delivery.
 
Hi Egg Born Son,

First of all I want to thank you for your time and comprehensive comment. Even if my english is poor I think I know what You mean :)
I must agree with you about closer scenes :) It's my problem. My friends doesn't act like I wish to ... They want to be anonymous :( So I have to always meet half way to the satisfaction :(
I'm going to check the rest of your suggestions and consider when I get home...
Anyway thank you again for your effort :)

Best wishes from Poland ;)
 
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