a Short i made a while back

[yabyum]

Hi everyone, I'm new at DVXuser... just ordered a GH1 so plan to be active here. Anyway, I thought I'd share a film I made...

I'm a film school dropout, went for 3 years, haven't done much this last year (in which I would have graduated). In my sophomore year we had a production class in which we made three short films with no dialogue. This is the last of the three.

http://vimeo.com/4911131 (5 minutes long)

The story of this film is that there was basically a due date in class for the last film right? had to be within 4-7 minutes or something like that... with no sync sound. As the due date got closer I had ideas for what I wanted to do... I'm a big piecing it together in my head kind of person I suppose. I actually didn't turn anything on the due date. Talked with the professor and said to give me a chance and that I'd make it in 1 day and it'd be good. So I borrowed a friend's camera, got my actor (a friend who is actually a really good actor imo), and we went out and shot.

It's 0 budget, not too much planning... I did rough storyboards and really rough script that was mostly in my head. Looking back on it though I'm not sure I would've been able to come up with what I did had I planned everything out, gotten a crew, blah blah blah the works. Then again maybe it would've been better? I'll acknowledge the film is far from perfect and there's a lot of technical errors... I didn't use any lights (obv used lights but no light lights), and shot it all handheld. In any case, I'm proud of it. Anymore questions feel free to ask.

edit: This is also a re-edit that I've done rather recently. The first edit was done very quickly (~2hrs) in iMovie, and I've since gone back and used Final Cut.

Oh, and it was shot on the beloved DVX-100, wow what a wonderful cam.

Thank you if you end up watching it.

 

[yabyum]

^ any comments at all??

 

[Jon Starr]

Hmm, okay, I'll bite. As always gonna be honest and constructive.

Checked it out and, well, it's nothing special. Gotta say that after all my time in film school, seeing the stuff coming out of it, this is typical for a beginner. In fact I've seen similar films to this and it gets a bit tiresome. It's great that you feel proud of this film, and you should, this is one of your firsts, just remember to keep going and make each one ten times better than the last.

First of all, let's clarify something. No synch is allowed, yet in the Vimeo description it says the exercise asked for no dialogue. So this means narration wasn't allowed? Was this why there was narration as subtitles? Strange choice IMO.

Keep in mind I know this is a first film, so I won't nit pick every shot, every edit, etc. A lot of it comes with time and practice and time and practice and time and practice, and failures and successes. So I'll just break it down on a basic level.

Okay let's break it down:

Story - Umm, what happened? I'm very very lost. I did skip a small part because, sorry to say, I was getting a bit bored. No conflict and nothing to hold me, so I skipped a bit. But from what I understand it's a guy that that wants to be the big guy on campus, and he eventually becomes it? What was the box about? It's far too abstract, unless youre talking about someone being square. Just a wierd random choice, felt like you were trying too hard to be artsy.

Also what was he doing at the fountain? Was it a paper airplane? Where did it come from? Too many holes...

Cinematography - well like you said, it was handheld, and it showed. Amature zooms, shakiness, nothing visually wow. It really holds this piece back.

Music - Honestly the music choice didn't work for me. Music is supposed to heighten one's "emotions" "feelings" "experience" for that particular moment. It didn't do it for me. Strange music choice IMO.

Editing - Needs works. the pacing of the whole film is far too long. So little happened, and there was nothing visually exciting to warrant being 5 minutes long. Could have easily been 2-3 minutes no problem, and felt better pacing wise.

Lighting - Well like you said, you used practicals and no lights. So it was nothing special. Sometimes the fountain scene looked nice, some nice sillouettes, but the cinematography/shakiness/zooms ruined it.

Acting - hmm, nothing special, just seemed like a friend you got. Really looks like it.

Sound - Well I don't expect you to have sound, but if you had more time/experience I would have suggested some sound design/ambience so that music isn't so dominant to the piece. Sound is very important, remember that for your future films.

Prod Design - I only bring up this area because I gotta ask, what's with the bike? It's a weird bike man, and to see this guy, all classed up, sun glasses, to pull out and see him ridding some wierd long bike... looks VERY silly. I expected to see him get into a nice sports car or on a nice motorcycle.


Anyways, keep working at it, when you get better be sure to ask for advice, I'll try and break it down with more specifics as you get better. There's potential, keep working.

 

[yabyum]

thanks, i appreciate the input. this is definitely a beginner film of mine, made it over 2 years ago now. i'd like to think i've improved... to the next project!