A Safe Place to Be

Brandon Rice said:
I thought this was a sad movie :( But, though it was, it didn't quite have that emotional POW that I was hoping for... part of it was the technical quality, and some of the sketchy performances (IMO) But this is a nice script and sweet story... well done on that aspect!
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Writer takes the blame for the POW factor. I'm kicking myself (not too hard) for not having some emotional breakdown on Camille's part, like when walking in the woods, she might stop, punch the ground and yell at Oscar 'Why do they keep leaving me?'

Or something ...

In all, I'm really happy with what Adam did with the script, and I think Brooklyn did an outstanding job with the role.

Thanks for the thoughts and for watching. Nice to see you drop in.

aw

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www.brooklyngarrison.wordpress.com

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alex whitmer said:
Thanks for the thoughts and for watching. Nice to see you drop in.

aw
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You bet! Trying to make my way through watching and commenting on every short... quite a task :) but it's been a few fests since I've done it.

Congrats on all the scripts in this fest btw! :beer:
 
This is a tough, emotional story. It sad to see it lay to waste on a technical level. This also proves something that two sides of the filmmaking realm cannot be ignored. We always emphasize story and acting, and many ignore it figuring the latest video cameras will solve their problems, but the technical side has a big part too. This story deserves more. The story itself needed a little rewriting, or few directorial tweaks, but its heart is in the right place.
 
I thought the girl was really good and the story was nice. I like that you have an actual...story. If that makes sense...a lot of shorts chose to go the montage-ish route and you kept it narrative and on a straight timeline. Good choice and overall I think you did what you intended.
 
Sprocketboy said:
This is a tough, emotional story. It sad to see it lay to waste on a technical level. This also proves something that two sides of the filmmaking realm cannot be ignored. We always emphasize story and acting, and many ignore it figuring the latest video cameras will solve their problems, but the technical side has a big part too. This story deserves more. The story itself needed a little rewriting, or few directorial tweaks, but its heart is in the right place.
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Read this a few times and still can't tell if you liked the performances or not.

In hindsight, now that I see this story on screen, I think there were a few missed opportunities in the writing. My bad. I think it needs one show of emotion.

Thanks for watching, and sharing your thoughts on the film.

aw


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Favorite part: Camille putting the picture of her in the grandpa's hands.

What would have made me like the film more: The performances weren't entirely believable and I think it's because the edits didn't always work well. It's like the tone of the scene changed subtly with each shot.

Favorite shot: 1:58 with the two getting up from by the tree.

I was entertained by the film. I liked the story a lot and it was well executed. I thought the man was her father until she calls him grandpa toward the end. Also, I had to listen to the line "I want to bury Oscar first" about 5 times before I could understand it.

Good work by all involved.
 
Nick_Lee said:
I thought the girl was really good and the story was nice. I like that you have an actual...story. If that makes sense...a lot of shorts chose to go the montage-ish route and you kept it narrative and on a straight time line. Good choice and overall I think you did what you intended.
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Thanks for watching, Nick. Really appreciate the thoughts.

Brooklyn is happy with the feedback on her performance, and is already looking forward to her next opportunity / film.

I'm still trying to master the short narrative, and see all kinds of places to notch it up for next time.

Thanks again!

aw
 
Drew Ott said:
Favorite part: Camille putting the picture of her in the grandpa's hands.

What would have made me like the film more: The performances weren't entirely believable and I think it's because the edits didn't always work well. It's like the tone of the scene changed subtly with each shot.

Favorite shot: 1:58 with the two getting up from by the tree.

I was entertained by the film. I liked the story a lot and it was well executed. I thought the man was her father until she calls him grandpa toward the end. Also, I had to listen to the line "I want to bury Oscar first" about 5 times before I could understand it.

Good work by all involved.
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Hey Drew, great to see you made it to do a little viewing! Thanks for the comments.

Agree on the edits. A few didn't quite line up.

We tried to find an older actor for Gramps, but choices were limited. Missouri ain't exactly LA or NY as far as actor pools go. As it is, we had to ship Louie in from a state or two away (and bless his heart for making the trek), and the make-up person was ill on shooting day, so no graying of the hair.

Gotta love film.

Thanks again,

aw
 
Starts off kind of cute and then ends on a sad and almost dark note, especially with the way the closing of the door is emphasized on the closing line.

Brooklyn did a fine job with the script, even if the performances of the actors was undermined by some disjointed editing here and there.

Well put together, rather straight-forward narrative. :beer:
 
Hey,

I didn't really dig the story in this. I thought the acting was up to par, and the shots/audio were so so.

Looked like you had a cool location to work with. Was this girl in a film from a past fest?

Good effort, keep making films!

Robbie
 
Well, crap, THAT was sad! I was astounded by how much some of these shots looked like older TV series did, which isn't a bad thing ... set kind of a cool tone/look for me.

I felt audio levels could have been increased some, as I found some of the dialogue more difficult to hear, and I wanted the pacing of the story picked up as well as I felt it was kind of crawling along.

That said, your ending DID stick with me, as I felt so sad for her ... so consider it a good thing that you left an impact. :)
 
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