"A Psycho Scene" 5 minute short

Hectorxd

Hectorxd

Well-known member
Hey
I just finished editing a short film that I shot and edited for someone else. Please watch it and let me know what you think. I didnt write or direct it so I would like to hear comments about the camera and editing work. Thanks for any and all comments. thanks

http://23productionfilms.com/page7.html

Click on (Windows Media Player) beside the title "A Psycho Scene"
A 20 mb download.
Sorry no quicktime version yet.
 
I just couldn't get over the fact, that he said he had to get a beer when no one else was in the room.
 
Good job on this. Here are my observations:

I agree that the audio needs a little work, the room echo is a little distracting.

The lighting when he's watching tv seems almost non-existant. Maybe a practical would've livened it up a bit.

The shot when she's coming downstairs is cool for the depth of field, but is it really neccessary?

On a positive note, I really liked the lighting and camera work during the outside/laundry scenes. The shot when she walks in with the flashlight was killer. Your editing was tight, especially during the opening dialog scene. Nice work.
 
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Directinglegend- Dont you talk to yourself when you are watching TV? I know I talk to myself all day when I am at home editing. :)

Twocik23- I might talk to the director about putting some music up front during the fighting. He is the one that has the connections to get the music made.

Richie- I agree with the room echo being distracting. I didnt have time to do ADR that night and probably wont. I am no audio engineer so I dont know how to take the echo out of it. I think the lighting while he is watching TV is better in the avi version and looks fine on tv.. probably lost some in compression, but I might brighten it a little for a web version.
The DOF shot on the stairs isnt necessary, I just wanted at least one artistic shot in the movie. We shot another shot of her just coming down the stairs from a regular wide shot and the director wanted the DOF shot.
Thanks for the compliments on lighting. This was my first time lighting for night, and it made it easier because I was at a house so I could reasonably have lights in the alleyway where as if I was filming in the woods I would be screwed. Thanks
 
I noticed the following when watching this short:

1) Was this on camera audio? The dinning room sounds way too reverberant.

2) At about 50 seconds into the clip, you break the line with the single shot of the man speaking to the women across the table. You had already established the line with your two shot and then broke it with his single.

3) Same problem as above at 1:03 in this scene with the single of the woman.

4) The frame of the empty chair after the man gets up from the watching the TV is too long, this VO dialog could have been off camera duologue over something else happening to keep it more interesting.

5) When the woman exits the front door, you can see a strong light reflection on the door that reveals your light source. A bit of dulling spray or a different location for your lighting instrument would have been much better.

6) The shots following the woman with the flashlight are good. The flashlights POV and framing here help to build the tension of the scene.

7) The second scene with the man watching TV is again a bit too long and uninteresting.

Hope that this feedback is useful.
 
Pretty good flick overall... Implementing some suggestions you've gotten in this forum should make it even better... The audio of "I need a beer" doesn't work for me either... Since you're already got stuff playing on the tele, I would have a beer commercial then just have him get up after that, that way he wouldn't have to say anything... Also, I think It would make it even better if the girl did not have to leave the house to do the laundry... with the escaped person in the house, it would make it more intense, and would also leave us with the question of what's going to happen to the guy if she just went right downstairs... Fight or no fight... I wouldn't go where that lady went by myself, nor would I let her go alone, that's really the only part of the story I didn't find believable.

SmithHouse
 
You should try to give the shots a little bit of motion. It'll give it that movie feel and look. Nice job though !
 
The audio for the TV should be fixed, its too clean. It doesn't sound like he's watching the tv in a room, it sounds like he has head phones on. Maybe just turn it down a bit.

Also, the sound the TV makes when hes switching channels is kinda over used IMO.
 
I thought maybe you could have unveiled the killer a little more scarily....but i guess you probably wernt working for a kind of complete terror feel....since the "Re, re, re" comes right after that and makes it funny. It was very enjoyable though....i especially liked the opening shot...of the zoom to the house window. Good job.
 
Hey
First off, thanks to everyone who watched and commented on it. I agree with alot of the things you guys are saying.
Khmuse- The audio for the dining room scene was an AT897 attached to the camera and an ME66 on a boom pole. I am not sure I understand what you mean about breaking the line with the conversation and switching to close up shots. I do agree that both tv scenes are too long. I might trim those down a little bit. I dont know what to do about the empty chair as I dont have other stuff to really cut to except outside and thats where the music kicks in. I didnt notice the light reflection on the front door. It was basically clamped down on the door frame above her. You can see the extension cord hanging down in the upper left. Your feedback is very helpful. Thank you

Smithhouse- Having the scene in the basement was kind of key to the story. The director lives in the house or apartment or whatever on the second story of that house. The laundry for the whole house is in the basement which is very creepy and nasty and it is why he wrote the script for the basement. I dont know if it came across as creepy but it was. There are laundry rooms in alot of basements in downtown richmond and I imagine other places as well. I guess people just get used to going down there. I dont know about the beer line. I dont like how it almost narrates what is going on. I will look through my footage to see if I have anything else of him standing up without saying anything. Thanks

twocik23- When you say Give your shots some motion do you mean more handheld or more pans, tilts. etc.. or what? I was trying to avoid handheld for most of this because I dont want to rely on it and so many times I just wanna tell people to get a tripod if they cant hold a camera steady. I think there were 3 handheld shots in this. Thanks

NO CA$H- I will try to work on the TV sounds, it is a little high. The TV stuff and the music was given to me by someone else that was working on the project so I cant do much about the channel changing sound. It does sound unrealistic though. I think more of a blank mute sound almost for a second might work better. Thanks

Weston- Im not sure what the director was going for on this one. I dont think he even knows the drama. I told someone it was horror/comedy, or suspensful with a joke at the end. I think some more shots of the killer maybe going into the closet could have built his part up more. Im glad you enjoyed it.

He made this movie to show at a local short movie screening that goes on once a month here in richmond. Their time limit is 5 minutes so he was trying to keep to that. I definitely think it could be better with more time to build up the killers character. I would also like more time to reshoot some stuff or add more scenes or cutaways.We had only one night to film it, and after a long day of shooting a music video that day, I didnt push for any more scenes that night. Thanks for all the comments and feedback.
Brian
 
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