Batutta
Major Contributor
1) I made it through all of High School without a single date. I wasn’t always as studly as I am now.
2) I’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars at least fifty times each. This might directly correlate to fact number 1.
3) I married the only woman I’ve ever had sex with. The sex is still great, but of course I have no basis of comparison. Ignorance is bliss.
4) I once drove 100 miles to see a double feature of The Day The Earth Stood Still and Close Encounters...by myself.
5) I once stuck garlic up my ass to fake a fever and get out of school...and it worked.
6) Up until my 30’s, I had never been drunk, stoned, or been to a rock concert.
7) I once slammed my daughters head into the ceiling trying to put her into a Baby Bjorn, and only recently confessed to my wife.
8) There were 2 other kids on the street I grew up on with the same birthday as mine. Also, I have the same birthday as Imelda Marcos.
9) My father once busted me with a penthouse I had hidden under the mattress, which I had sadly only borrowed from a friend because it had an article on Oliver Stone.
10) I passed a class in college I only attended twice, and still got a C on the final exam.
11) When I worked the late shift at an on demand company, I would occasionally sneak out to see movies. I rarely did a full ten hours.
12) I cried during Look Who’s Talking.
13) I was nominated twice in the same category for Best Independent Movie Trailer one year.
14) I found out the hard way that you shouldn’t get spermicide on your pee-hole. I now know what it must feel like to piss fire.
15) I once snuck onto the Universal Studios lot, but sadly was not discovered like Spielberg.
16) In Junior High, I won a contest to design the logo for the Lake County rotary club. I’ve not won anything since.
17) I once stepped on a bee right after I had just...uh...pleasured myself and...well...you get the picture...
18) The total earnings from my illustrious, 19 year writing career is 1,000 dollars.
19) I owned the LP of the Howard the Duck soundtrack.
20) I once wrote a screenplay in 12 days.
21) When I was 14, I was 5’6”. When I was 15, I was 6’5”. Unfortunately, this happened too late for me to develop any real athletic skill.
22) The first words I learned to spell were Happy Foods.
23) I’ve never been in a physical fight.
24) Some random old white lady once walked up to me in Panda Express, said “You’re very handsome”, and walked away.
25) My life is so boring I couldn’t even find 25 things to put on this list.
2) I’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars at least fifty times each. This might directly correlate to fact number 1.
3) I married the only woman I’ve ever had sex with. The sex is still great, but of course I have no basis of comparison. Ignorance is bliss.
4) I once drove 100 miles to see a double feature of The Day The Earth Stood Still and Close Encounters...by myself.
5) I once stuck garlic up my ass to fake a fever and get out of school...and it worked.
6) Up until my 30’s, I had never been drunk, stoned, or been to a rock concert.
7) I once slammed my daughters head into the ceiling trying to put her into a Baby Bjorn, and only recently confessed to my wife.
8) There were 2 other kids on the street I grew up on with the same birthday as mine. Also, I have the same birthday as Imelda Marcos.
9) My father once busted me with a penthouse I had hidden under the mattress, which I had sadly only borrowed from a friend because it had an article on Oliver Stone.
10) I passed a class in college I only attended twice, and still got a C on the final exam.
11) When I worked the late shift at an on demand company, I would occasionally sneak out to see movies. I rarely did a full ten hours.
12) I cried during Look Who’s Talking.
13) I was nominated twice in the same category for Best Independent Movie Trailer one year.
14) I found out the hard way that you shouldn’t get spermicide on your pee-hole. I now know what it must feel like to piss fire.
15) I once snuck onto the Universal Studios lot, but sadly was not discovered like Spielberg.
16) In Junior High, I won a contest to design the logo for the Lake County rotary club. I’ve not won anything since.
17) I once stepped on a bee right after I had just...uh...pleasured myself and...well...you get the picture...
18) The total earnings from my illustrious, 19 year writing career is 1,000 dollars.
19) I owned the LP of the Howard the Duck soundtrack.
20) I once wrote a screenplay in 12 days.
21) When I was 14, I was 5’6”. When I was 15, I was 6’5”. Unfortunately, this happened too late for me to develop any real athletic skill.
22) The first words I learned to spell were Happy Foods.
23) I’ve never been in a physical fight.
24) Some random old white lady once walked up to me in Panda Express, said “You’re very handsome”, and walked away.
25) My life is so boring I couldn’t even find 25 things to put on this list.
