1st short film

D

disasianluvsangie

Active member
Hi guys,

This is actually my FIRST short film I've done in school and I was wondering if I could get some good feedback! I've been getting a lot of really awesome feedback from friends on what confused them and stuff.

Anyway some quick back info without giving too much. This is again a film for my media arts class, and it has to be a 1 min short (excluding titles) based on whatever "vice" theme we received. My theme was "pride." I went the route of pride when people are too "prideful" to accept things from others as well as self-image.

Thanks so much!


http://www.vimeo.com/7841997
 
The acting was mediocre and exaggerated. The shot with the guy on the phone was extremely awkward. It might have looked better if he was facing toward the right instead of the edge of the screen. Were you not allowed to use dialogue? Again, the acting needed to be more subtle. Opening with a tracking shot was nice.

It's good that you actually used some ambience noise. That certainly helped it.

I didn't really understand the story though. I didn't se how the penny had to do with pride. Care to explain?
 
Yea the story is a bit confusing... What you need to do is don't have them act out a moment but recall a moment and then bring it to life. Acting is being natural not trying to be something you aren't.
 
I forgot to mention that yes, I am not allowed to use dialogue. The quick bit of dialogue used by the actor on the cell phone was all that I was allowed to use. My teacher agreed that it would be super awkward and weird if he mimed being on the phone--so she let me slide on that one a bit.

It's good that you guys were a bit confused on the story it helps me know what to fix. The penny is suppose to be "good luck" and the penny brings a little fortune to the homeless woman--a pair of sneakers. It parallels with the woman who falls down because she is down on her "luck." The homeless woman offers her the new found luck she's come across but the woman declines because of her self pride.

Now I was thinking that I could use a sound to better "cue" that the penny is lucky. Do you think that will help?

And all these actors are BFA theatre majors at the University of Arizona.
 
yeh i could see the theatre acting. i was didnt know what was goin on...but i liked the humour. made me chuckle. u should deinterlace it for the net. The nett encoding was good...got nice quality from it.

try the "cue" and see ...it wouldnt hurt :)
 
I can think of maybe the sound of the rim of a glass being rubbed with a wet finger. That might covey it, but it might not be very subtle.
 
Also the framed shot with the guy on the phone on the left side was like that because I had to cut him walking into the frame because it took too much time, lol and I still need to cut about five-ten seconds.

But thanks Diego, I might actually record that today, sounds like a good idea!
 
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