SHORT: 1st Short as a Crew

A

AM Films

Member
5 friends of mine and myself have come together to form a small little production crew, titled 'Ghost in the Machine.' Nothing too big yet, it's just so we have a name to attach to everything we create. We've received a bunch of positive feedback around our University, but it seems no one is giving us ACTUAL criticism haha.

I wanted to post this here so that you guys can share your questions, comments, or concerns. This short was created as a test to both the Blackmagic Cinema's RAW capabilities/workflow as well as our ability to work together as a crew. Enjoy!

ITERUM
 
Nice little short. Some great moody shots. A few angles that made me wonder why you used them like the cut above him when she sits down on the bed. The TV sound bothered me because it was the sound we'd hear through a thin wall of another tv in another dingy apartment, but his set was as on and the sound matched the visual. Also, the heater sounded loud and like it wasn't recorded in the room. That distracted me.. Music was appropriate and worked. Lighting felt like it could have been a bit less flat in some of the shots. Flat's not the right word. Bland maybe. Predictable? I'm not sure what word I'm looking for. Overall, nice work.
 
The cinematography was solid. It was nice and moody, and I like that the edit allowed the shots to breathe.

Unfortunately the story just isn't there. I love the minimal style of it, but a man imagining his girlfriend setting him on fire does not really say anything. Couple that with the title of the film (which comes across as something you found in a thesaurus), and it just really didn't connect with me.

That being said, y'all obviously have technical skill so with a better story I have no doubt you could make something good.
 
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