1min short student film

The beginning got me interested, and it kept me until right before the ending where I got disappointed. I first thought it was going to give some thoughts about the fact that being successful and having it "all" probably isn't going to make you happy. The ending got me confused. What were you trying to say? that one can be happy even though working as a stripper? that it's sad (or shocking?) that some people think they are happy even though they work as a stripper?

I don't like to get confused.
 
i c.its about a girl whos dreaming shes got a perfect life,but turns out shes a stripper
and the only reason she came out of the house was becuase she slept with her boss the night before
 
A little misleading. Having them all dressed in business attire and all. Still, I get what you're going for here.
The audio needs tweaking. As soon as he spoke you could hear the buzzing, it stops when he does. Try and run a filter through it.

Keep at it.

Mike
 
how would you do it?
i was try to show how her how shes denieing herself,and what her dream is, but how it turns out shes a stripper.
 
Jennzababe said:
It could really use some nudity. Let's see how good she is at stripping!
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Hell yes. What a tease!

It actually struck me as quite a shallow, judgemental film to be honest. I found that a turn off.

It said to me that business suits and flash cars are 'success', but stripping is failure.
How many strippers are exploiting third world countries and driving a cheap workforce into the dust while making ridiculous amounts of money?

Just another way at looking at things.
 
john818 said:
how would you do it?
i was try to show how her how shes denieing herself,and what her dream is, but how it turns out shes a stripper.
Click to expand...
It just seemed set up.
I have no idea how I would do it since I probably wouldn't have made this short.

I'm just telling you how I felt while watching it. Seemed like a set up for something else and then... taaa daaa! :)

Not necessarily a bad thing if that's what you were going for.
 
Pastor Thug said:
Hell yes. What a tease!

It actually struck me as quite a shallow, judgemental film to be honest. I found that a turn off.

It said to me that business suits and flash cars are 'success', but stripping is failure.
How many strippers are exploiting third world countries and driving a cheap workforce into the dust while making ridiculous amounts of money?

Just another way at looking at things.
Click to expand...

Haven't you heard... Dita von Teese has hooked up with Krupp , to form a joint venture called, "Big Bertha does Paris"...
 
john818 said:
heres my 1 min short student film i made,it was shot with my hv20 24p mode
i used a cheap tripod so youll see a little shakes to it

please let me know what you guys think

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fusea...oid=37052 126
Click to expand...

I'll address some of the more technical items that I saw, or heard.

There were several shots where the camera was angled up, and brought down on the subject. Other than doing it for the 'technique', I didn't see that as motivated by the material. The technique sometimes is used as an 'intro', but for a less than 1 minute short... seeing it several times was a bit much.

The voice over seemed a bit too 'clean', for example, in the initial sequence, where the couple are getting into the car, I don't recall there being any car/door noises. I think something of the ambient sound should be there. But perhaps that's an aesthetic thing...

With that in mind, I think as the woman goes through the door, and the viewer is confronted with her work place, perhaps for some 'shocking', I think perhaps some sound of that environment would be in order, for example, loud whistles and music, yells from the audience, etc.

When the woman is walking on the side walk, there's basically a from the chest up shot. I think either a 3/4 or full length shot would be better. The close up is sort of unmotivated at that point.

Now, on the issue of 'a message'. As you indicated in your response, the man and woman, seemingly a 'couple' leave a house in such a way as to give the viewer the impression that 'that's how they are'. Later on, almost imperceptibly, we see the man again just stick his head in the door, and tell the woman she's up.

I think you should perhaps 'telegraph' to the audience that something isn't quite what it seems far earlier than the last 5 seconds. For example some think like she heads for the driver's side, or gets out her keys rather than deferring to him. It's an idea but the idea is that on the one hand you may want to 'shock' the viewer, but if the viewer is totally blindsided, perhaps they will not react with the desire response... they may just go, 'uh??? what was that???'...

So, we don't know even at the last, that the man is 'the boss', nor that she is sleeping with him... ok, they exit the house together... she could be a real estate agent for all I know...
 
wow thanks for writing all this down,some great info.really helpfull
your right,most of the poeple who watch it dont get the boss the first time.
and the background sounds would pull you in more
 
My take was that she looked like she was a successful business woman with a successful husband. She had breakfast with her friend’s everyday at a restaurant, they also look like successful business women. Then at the end we see she isn’t happy with her perfect life because she earns her money as a stripper.

I got it and I think it was told well. I think the point that it was her boss isn’t important. She feigns success in front of her friends but hates where she has ended up. She’s not a proud business woman; she is ashamed of working in a strip joint. It’s a simple and clear story.
 
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