"We Are Not Alone" - Reyo-San Pictures
- Thread starter Kaz
- Start date
Great compositing and CG work , I also thought the editing and music were excellent. At first I thought where in the hell did you find that location- and it hit me when I read the credits. I mean the wrecked cop car in one of the opening scenes was a really nice touch. A true work of art!
WilderWorks
Well-known member
From a story standpoint, I agree with some earlier statements that we lose a lot of sympathy for the hero when he abandons his wife, particularly when such focus is placed on the fact that she's pregnant. This surely ups the stakes on his suffering, but it also makes it harder for us to stay with him, whether that be fair or not. I don't think the incident is wrong, because his loss is important for the emotional impact of the ending. But from a writing standpoint, I think it makes a world of difference whether or not she's dead when he leaves her. I feel that she needs to be already be dead when he goes, otherwise, we lose him.
Also from a writing standpoint, the story he tells, about the drawing he made in class, is a wonderful way to call back to happier times, and reflect on the irony of those living in a pre-disaster mindset (which would be us, in this case). Very nice touch.
As I'm sure this thread has established, you've got the technical side covered. My only critique would be, amidst otherwise excellent sound design, the footsteps don't seem to match the shoes and terrain he's on, particularly in the first shot. There footsteps also seem a little odd when he's creeping to the livingroom door. Perhaps these were captured on set, but they still seem too crisp and clean, too present, to match what we're seeing on screen.
Good time, great visuals, solid structure, and performance.
Also from a writing standpoint, the story he tells, about the drawing he made in class, is a wonderful way to call back to happier times, and reflect on the irony of those living in a pre-disaster mindset (which would be us, in this case). Very nice touch.
As I'm sure this thread has established, you've got the technical side covered. My only critique would be, amidst otherwise excellent sound design, the footsteps don't seem to match the shoes and terrain he's on, particularly in the first shot. There footsteps also seem a little odd when he's creeping to the livingroom door. Perhaps these were captured on set, but they still seem too crisp and clean, too present, to match what we're seeing on screen.
Good time, great visuals, solid structure, and performance.
Kaz
Well-known member
WilderWorks said:
My character wears Doc Martins in this. He's walking on a wood floor. I'm somewhat anal when it comes to sound and I came pretty darn close to matching the sound as it was on the set (which would have suffered from a neighbor's A/C outside had it been recorded live).
Perhaps it's just too loud for the stereo mix (it's originally mixed in 5.1). But hey, I'm not worried, that was a tiny criticism!
Again, there's a reason he leaves his wife, audience be damned. This is an allegory and I used this sequence as a metaphor for a conversation I overheard from someone who lost their father in the storm.
Everything that is said or done in WANA directly relates to actual events and circumstances before, during & after the storm. Except the stuff about aliens, of course!
Anyway, thanks for writing!
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EditPhish
Well-known member
Kaz, I agree with you.Kaz said:
I also agree with you that the actor did read the "oh god" line brilliantly, and I did NOT lose sympathy for him for leaving her behind... he about had no choice unless he was die along with her. It made the scene much more anxiety filled and I could feel his angst at having to make the decision (and making it)... I wouldn't change one second of it!
WilderWorks
Well-known member
I fully appreciate what you're trying to capture with him abandoning his wife, and I think it's something that's very, very worth capturing. But like the shoe sound, (which I figured, with your perfect sound design, was carefully matched), what reads in real life, automatically, takes tweaking and adjustment on screen. We *must* believe what people do in life. We don't in a movie. So you've got to work overtime to keep the audience on board. In short, people are saying they don't believe his choice; take it as a challenge, and make them believe it. Then you'll have it.
Being forced to abandon a loved one is a compelling, enormous idea to try and contemplate, but it's not yet in the movie you've made, because the story isn't *about* showing us the details of his regret and loss afterward. It shifts into resolving the alien problem. If the short is about his emotional suffering, that's where the movie needs to go. That's where it needs to start, too. You need a "dime" that's about that decision. That's what the bookends need to be. All I'm saying is, you're trying to represent one of the most torturous experiences imaginable, and you're not quite there yet. (Hell, I think anyone would need about two hours more, minimum, to get there).
In short, I think you're perfectly right to tackle this sort of emotional suffering, but six minutes doesn't do it justice. We don't feel that suffering, because we don't yet buy into the choice. The audience can't be damned, otherwise you're not telling anyone anything. You've made a fantastic movie, and that's why I am responding on a higher level of criticism.
Being forced to abandon a loved one is a compelling, enormous idea to try and contemplate, but it's not yet in the movie you've made, because the story isn't *about* showing us the details of his regret and loss afterward. It shifts into resolving the alien problem. If the short is about his emotional suffering, that's where the movie needs to go. That's where it needs to start, too. You need a "dime" that's about that decision. That's what the bookends need to be. All I'm saying is, you're trying to represent one of the most torturous experiences imaginable, and you're not quite there yet. (Hell, I think anyone would need about two hours more, minimum, to get there).
In short, I think you're perfectly right to tackle this sort of emotional suffering, but six minutes doesn't do it justice. We don't feel that suffering, because we don't yet buy into the choice. The audience can't be damned, otherwise you're not telling anyone anything. You've made a fantastic movie, and that's why I am responding on a higher level of criticism.
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Kaz
Well-known member
All a filmmaker can do is tell you why he did what he did. I knew I'd get some flak for this sequence, but I stand by my reasons. It obviously was not possible to bring it into the emotional direction you wanted in the time alloted but the sequence just after (when he disappears) does broach the idea of suicide.
Yes, but sometimes...despite everything... you just have to say...it's only a movie.
WilderWorks said:You've made a fantastic movie, and that's why I am responding on a higher level of criticism.
Yes, but sometimes...despite everything... you just have to say...it's only a movie.
macgregor
Veteran
Kaz said:
THAT is what i like about yours.
The shot where she is crying on the ground after he has left... ufff, that is too much for me. And so well done and thought.
I am not usually a very encouraning man, (if i like something i tell once, if i dont like something i dont say anything) but i find myself i cannot stop talking about your film. So it has to be great, i guess. ;P
Shawn Murphy
Well-known member
Kaz said:
Actually Kaz, this conundrum is a classic Philosophy 101 question posed to students:
You or your parents will be thrown from a cliff and killed, what do you decide?
If you do the "noble" thing and throw yourself off then your parents will live in pain and anguish having wished you had saved your own life as they have already lived theirs, however, if you let your parents be killed then you have to live with that...
SO, THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS:
You have people discussing (and politely debating) your story and your decision, which is much better than no discussion at all! ;-)
Good job!
Kaz
Well-known member
macgregor said:
I wrote that in during production and I'm so glad I did. Ashley did such a great job right there, and she had to learn that whole sequence the night of the shoot.
WilderWorks, you obviously have great insight on character motivation and execution of story detail. Thanks for caring enough about my film to talk about it.
And Shawn, you put it all into perspective.
Cheers, fellas.
FlintMI
Well-known member
great job
great job
LOL this is the best one IMHO. congrats! You will win. Admins: how about a random screen cap from each film to accompany the list so we can be drawn in with a visual?
1a. this was the first movie I pulled up totally at random. sure set the tone for watching the others.
1b. only problem: the dedication to New Orleans at the beginning. when I saw the scenery the illusion was broken. I said to myself: not aliens. hurricane. but yet, I was still pulled in and it wasn't that big of a problem. maybe move that credit it to the end. I notice a lot more "lack of credits" nowadays until the end of movies to get people into the story quicker.
2a. the alien through the window blind was OK. I laughed more because it looked like the Pets.com sock puppet with teeth.
2b. taking a page from M. Night Sh... the director of Signs, The Village, etc... what you don't see is often more scary than what you do see. So even a more shadowy alien would have been better. just a non-human shape would have been fine.
3. I downloaded all the Sci-fest movies in about 10 minutes. If you have Firefox, use the DownloadThemAll! extension and let it run for a few minutes. Set the filter for WMV and it will take download them all in the time it takes to microwave dinner. and then you'll have something to watch while you eat!
great job
LOL this is the best one IMHO. congrats! You will win. Admins: how about a random screen cap from each film to accompany the list so we can be drawn in with a visual?
1a. this was the first movie I pulled up totally at random. sure set the tone for watching the others.
1b. only problem: the dedication to New Orleans at the beginning. when I saw the scenery the illusion was broken. I said to myself: not aliens. hurricane. but yet, I was still pulled in and it wasn't that big of a problem. maybe move that credit it to the end. I notice a lot more "lack of credits" nowadays until the end of movies to get people into the story quicker.
2a. the alien through the window blind was OK. I laughed more because it looked like the Pets.com sock puppet with teeth.
2b. taking a page from M. Night Sh... the director of Signs, The Village, etc... what you don't see is often more scary than what you do see. So even a more shadowy alien would have been better. just a non-human shape would have been fine.
3. I downloaded all the Sci-fest movies in about 10 minutes. If you have Firefox, use the DownloadThemAll! extension and let it run for a few minutes. Set the filter for WMV and it will take download them all in the time it takes to microwave dinner. and then you'll have something to watch while you eat!
yeah that shot is great -- i've shown this to a couple of people and always say "isn't that great -- the way he uses expansion of time to convey an emotional subtext right there"macgregor said:
regarding the abandon don't abandon issue ...
The film is presented with such condidence (you're achieving everything you're after) that I just said -- "wow - tough decision - I guess he did what he had to do." and then was ready to go where you were taking me next.
after reading this discussion I did think it would be a cool and compelling moment if Blake had stayed and just held her until they were blown to bits, and I thought -- that could be really impactful -- and then I thought ... er ... but the movie would be over
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conrad_johnson
Well-known member
Good short. I really liked the wipes. Not much to say that hasn't been said already. The ending was kind of a let-down (kind of cheesy...), but let's face it - the whole thing is one of the best to have been posted. Very high quality. Great work!
